by (@shalapitcher)

Kobe Bryant, Kenny G, Avril Lavigne And More Breakup News

It’s January, the weather’s finally getting cold, and, sadly, some hearts are even colder. There are days when it’s too depressing to deliver celebrity breakup and divorce news, so we’re ripping off the Band-aid and giving it to you all in one shot.

» First, you might consider this happy news, if you’re Team Vanessa. Kobe Bryant’s soon-to-be-ex is getting $75 million in the divorce settlement, half of the NBA star’s estimated assets, according to TMZ. That includes all three of their houses in the Newport Beach area.

» Kenny G’s wife of 20 years, Lyndie Benson-Gorelick, filed for separation from the smooth-jazz sax-player, E! Online reports. The couple has two sons, Max, 18, and Noah, 14.

» Eva Longoria’s previous attempts to remove her “Nine” tattoo tribute to ex husband Tony Parker have been unsuccessful, so she’s going to amazingly named tat-erasing expert Dr. Tatoff, per TMZ.

» And contrary to rumors of their split, Avril Lavigne and Brody Jenner tweeted their love for each other: “It really upsets me to read all the FALSE!! stories. Avril has always been there for me and is the closest person to my heart. I love her,” Brody wrote on Tuesday, to which Avril replied, “luv u 2.” Still, those could also be interpreted as “just friends” declarations too.

Now, let’s get on with a happier Friday!

[Photo: Getty Images]

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The 15 Sexiest Ballers Of The NBA Playoffs


It’s NBA Playoff season – aka The Most Wonderful Time of the Year for those of us who love to oogle at arm muscles and guys with legs as long as tree trunks. We’ve handpicked fifteen of our favorite lanky ballers who make the games that much more enjoyable for us to watch. Check out our picks below and feel free to foul us if we’ve missed your favorite. See what we did there? We made a basketball reference! Proof that we’re not just watching because we like the eye candy…though it sure doesn’t hurt!

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by (@hallekiefer)

Eva Longoria Talks About Her Sad Divorce, Awesome Life In Allure

Look, we’re completely sympathetic to Eva Longoria feeling down about her marriage ending, but a large part of us just wants to shake her and scream, “You’re still a beautiful A-lister, woman!” That thought came to mind because while Longoria talks about her divorce from Tony Parker in the new issue of Allure, she also throws out a few incidentals that confirm that yes, her life is still 10,000 times more amazing than yours. “It’s been—every time I talk about it, I want to cry. It’s been hard. Very hard. I’m just trying to get through it as gracefully as possible without any drama,” Eva says about her divorce. Think of it this way, Eva: you escaped a marriage to someone who allegedly cheated on you with your karaoke buddy. Two sides to every coin!

Now, Longoria lives in a house with two of her closest friends; “We always say that my house is the female Entourage,” she laughs. Eva can also return to her first love, vibrators, which she raved about in a past interview. “That was, like, seven years ago—premarriage. It’s hard for me to censor myself, because I like to be honest and free and say exactly what I’m thinking or feeling. Unfortunately, so many things are taken out of context, and [now] I’m a little more cautious about what I say,” Eva explains. Time to let your vibrator flag fly free! So you lost a pro-ball player; you’re still dating Penelope Cruz’s brother Eduardo Cruz. Overall, you have it pretty sweet.

[Photos: Allure]

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by (@hallekiefer)

Eva Longoria & Tony Parker Finalize Their Shockingly Drama-Free Divorce

In a completely unexpected twist, Eva Longoria and Tony Parker finalized their divorce in Texas on Friday in the most calm and civilized way possible. This isn’t what we expect from celebrity divorces! Especially seeing as how the split happened after Longoria found inappropriate texts between Parker and Erin Barry, wife of Tony’s former teammate Brent Barry. Even though Barry and Parker have denied having an affair, we were still looking forward to at least one insane Youtube diatribe against Tony, or an impassioned speech from Longoria’s Desperate Housewives co-star Terri Hatcher. Couldn’t you at least leak some of those sexts to the public, Eva? Whither the sexts?

Even more surprisingly, sources say Longoria and Parker are still friends, and have been dining out together in L.A. and Texas. We don’t know if we’d be classy enough to enjoy a meal with our ex without flipping over the table, so we guess it must be true. If the speed and friendliness of the divorce suggests anything to us, it’s that rumors about Longoria dating Penelope Cruz’s brother might be more than just rumors. Congratulations to the happy divorced couple, and remember, Eva: a marriage might only last a few years, but a scandalous text is forever.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

Erin Barry Speaks, “I Did Not Have An Affair With Tony Parker”

She took her time, but Erin Barry is finally speaking up about her supposed sexting scandal with Eva Longoria‘s (soon-t0-be) ex husband, Tony Parker. As a source explained to RadarOnline, “Tony had Erin’s personal information stored in an electronic program that only he could access. But one day he forgot to close the program and that’s when Eva found it.” Considering Erin’s been silent for quite some time now about her role in ending the Parker-Longoria marriage, it’s no wonder that she’s venting full scale in a “statement.” And by that we means paragraphs of denial.

Barry wrote, “It has been brought to my attention that people who do not know me think that I have had an affair with Tony Parker. I have received hundreds of emails and phone calls from supportive friends who do know me and know that what is being insinuated about me is a complete lie. I am so busy with my children and law school studies that to take even a few moments out of my day to address this ludicrous issue is an annoyance. I only take the time to explain myself because apparently my silence, as a result of my indifference, has been construed as an admission of guilt. These are my words and this is the last you will hear from me on this subject because I have more important things to do. I DID NOT HAVE AN AFFAIR WITH TONY PARKER, nor did I “pursue” Tony Parker….”

You can read the whole statement here on her website, but we warn you, it gets very PSA in the end. But the question is: if there was nothing going on, then why were there sexts in the first place? Eva didn’t imagine them, and there’s no mention of them in this explanation.

by (@missmuttoo)

Eva Longoria And Tony Parker Meet For Lunch

This is unusual—we’re not used to soon-to-be-divorced couples sitting down together for a bite to eat. That’s why we were surprised to hear that Eva Longoria and Tony Parker got lunch yesterday. There’s been news of Eva blindsiding Tony with the divorce, followed by reports of Tony insisting he knew they were splitting, so their graph has been all over the place. One doesn’t usually act chummy with a husband who has been sexting other women.

They’re not reconciling, reveals a source, but they did sit down and eat some lunch together at a hotel in L.A. The source explains, “It was just a friendly lunch to work out the details of the divorce. It’s been very amicable. They still get along.” Somehow, we find that hard to believe. Civil, yes, amicable… too soon.

by (@hallekiefer)

Tony Parker’s Lawyer Quits Due To Too Much Irony

evalongoriatonyparkergetty

First come the sexy texts, then the quitting lawyers: so far Tony Parker and Eva Longoria’s divorce is going exactly how we’d fantasized it would. Sources are saying that Tony Parker’s lawyer Richard Orsinger quit due to a conflict of interest. What would that conflict be, exactly? Oh, just that he’s also representing Tony’s ex-San Antonio Spurs teammate Brian Barry…in his divorce from Parker’s alleged mistress Erin Barry. Twist!

When Orsinger submitted Parker’s divorce papers on November 19, he reportedly had no idea that he was going Beyond Cheaterdome by representing both men. Once Orsinger recognized the conflict of interest, he decided to give Parker the boot. Sources say Tony is currently looking for new representation and will forge ahead with the divorce as planned. We, for one, don’t blame Orsinger for leaving. Really, how could anyone keep that many filthy texts straight? [Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Tony Parker Speaks Out About Divorce, Says He Wasn’t Blindsided

After much speculation that Eva Longoria filed divorce papers as a surprise to intentionally blindside her husband, Tony Parker discusses their divorce for the first time to say: oh, he knew it was coming.

In an statement issued by his rep this evening, Parker told People, “Eva and I have been discussing our situation privately. I was aware that she would be filing for divorce in Los Angeles.”  No word on Tony’s rumored mistress Erin Barry’s texts messages being the cause of the break-up, though we bet if they are real and Eva found them, Tony would have been informed repeatedly about their upcoming divorce. Like, on his voicemail, his e-mail, the hood of his car….

Continued Parker, despite rumors to the contrary “I did not file for divorce in Texas and did not hire divorce attorneys in either Texas or California. We plan to continue to keep our discussions of this matter private.” Good luck to both Parker and Longoria, but if there are scandalous texts out there somewhere? We think privacy isn’t likely to happen any time soon.

by (@hallekiefer)

The Identity Of Tony’s Alleged Other Woman Has Been Tweeted!

wellthatsawkward

The name of Tony Parker’s alleged mistress has hit the Internet, and as if we couldn’t have guessed it, it only took 140 characters to let the cat out of the bag. According to Sports Illustrated staff writer Bryan Armen Graham, the name of the woman bringing about Parker and Eva Longoria’s divorce is Erin Barry, wife of Parker’s former San Antonio Spurs teammate Brent Barry and someone who should sleep with one eye open forever, if we know Eva like we think we do.

Tweeted Graham, “Have it on good authority from entertainment sources that “former teammate” in Tony Parker-Eva Longoria affair is Brent Barry.” Graham tweeted even more damning evidence later, saying “Longoria said she found text messages from wife of a former teammate on Parker’s phone. Source says former teammate was Barry.” Oh, we would not want to be Tony Parker tonight. Or either of the Barrys. Or, well, anyone within a 500 mile radius of Eva’s scratching zone.

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by (@JordanRuntagh)

Divorce Is Official, But Did Tony Have An Affair?

The media firestorm known as The Eva Longoria and Tony Parker Break-Up continues this afternoon with a twist straight out of Desperate Housewives. Extra reports that Eva found hundreds of intimate texts on Tony’s cell phone from the wife of a fellow San Antonio Spurs player. Eva herself apparently told Extra reporter and close friend Mario Lopez about her husbands indiscretions, which put an end to their three-year relationship.

“She is devastated, and wants us all to know that,” Lopez said on Extra. “But she’s strong.” The actress went on to say that this would not be the first time her husband has strayed. According to her, Tony had an relationship with another woman at the start of their marriage, and still kept in contact with her through Facebook.

Longoria filed for divorce this afternoon citing irreconcilable differences. She tweeted “It is with great sadness that after 7 years together, Tony and I have decided to divorce. We love each other deeply and pray for each other’s happiness.”

[Photo: Images]