by (@shalapitcher)

Jersey Shore Cast Step Up For Restore The Shore Post-Sandy Fundraiser – Who Should Join Them?

The cast of the Jersey Shore is hosting a post-Sandy fundraising special called Restore the Shore

Considering what a controversy the cast of Jersey Shore has stirred up ever since their show first aired on MTV, we think this is a great step for them and their adopted hometown of Seaside Heights. After witnessing the devastation done to their summer haunt during Superstorm Sandy, the show is teaming up with Architecture for Humanity for a benefit called Restore the Shore, airing live next Thursday, November 15 at 11 p.m. ET (tape-delayed for the West Coast). The money raised will help rebuild the boardwalk and assist the people who live and work in the affected region.

According to the press release we got this morning, the special will also feature special guests to be announced. Who do you think they should invite? Here are our suggestions:

  • Everyone a Jersey Shore star has ever fought with on the show. What better way to demonstrate how Jerseyans come together in a time of crisis?
  • The cast of every other Jersey-set show that has been accused of promoting negative stereotypes of the state: Real Housewives of New Jersey, The Sopranos, that lawyer show no one watched.
  • Read more…

by (@hallekiefer)

15 Comfortingly Outrageous Quotes From The Jersey Shore Season Premiere

If you watched the two-hour Jersey Shore season premiere last night, one twelfth of your entire day was spent watching Deena cry and Snooki be pregnant. It felt good, right? Familiar? Call us clinically insane, but having the gang back under one (well, maybe two) dysfunctional roofs for a final season felt right to us. Considering the cast was so comfortable, they didn’t give a second thought to the words coming out of their mouths, we assume they must have felt the same way.

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by (@hallekiefer)

The Season Premiere Is Tonight! 5 Questions We Want Answered In Jersey Shore‘s Last Season

The season premiere of Jersey Shore is tonight at 10/9pm Central, ya’ll! It’s been six seasons and three years in the making but it’s almost time to bid Snooki and the gang adieu. Luckily we have the next couple months to get a truly satisfying conclusion, because we have quite a few burning questions we’d like the last season of JS to answer. Ew…what? No, no, we said burning questions. Come on, people! It’s not like we’ve been using the smush room.

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by (@shalapitcher)

Jersey Shore Cast’s VD Clause Is Kind Of The Most Real Thing About Them

Snooki and Vinny on The Jersey Shore
I think we’re supposed to be scandalized by the revelation that the cast of the Jersey Shore, and supposedly many other reality show participants, signed a contract with the following clause:

“Producer hereby informs me, and I acknowledge and accept, that the other participants have not been screened for any diseases, sicknesses or other health conditions (and specifically have not been tested for any sexually transmitted diseases) and I assume all risks of interacting with the other participants, including any consensual contact.”

This was uncovered by author and entertainment journo Seth Kaufman as he researched his reality-TV set novel, The King of Pain. Kaufman explained to the New York Daily News that TV insiders told him this kind of clause is common.
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by (@hallekiefer)

Vinny “Shocked,” Deena Clueless About Snooki’s Pregnancy

Based on how much Deena Cortese cries during your average season of Jersey Shore, how much do you think she cried when she found out about Snooki’s pregnancy from the news rather than from her meatball sister herself? A million tears? That seems like a solid, conservative estimate. “I actually just found out when everybody else did. That’s when she decided to tell everyone,” Deena explained on Ryan Seacrest‘s KIIS-FM radio show this morning. “I think she was waiting because it’s bad luck.” Her costar Vinny Guadagnino seemed similarly stunned by the news, as he told HuffPo today, “It was definitely a shock, but you have to adapt to whatever life throws at you.” We’re assuming at least Snooki’s boyfriend Jionni knew before the Interweb did…right?

Despite their shock and awe at Snooki’s recent life decisions, her cast members think she’s going to be an excellent parent, boozing and Shore Showers not withstanding. “I think Nicole is going to be a great mom,” gushed Deena. “She’s a very genuine person and her heart’s always in the right place. She always puts people before her.” Said Vinny, “We all get into our hardships with each other and petty arguments but this is real life. She is pregnant and we are there for each other … I think it is a cool thing.” Aw, you guys are the best! As far as we’re concerned, the producers should just make room for a crib next to the duck phone next season.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

7 Most Promising Moments Of The Jersey Shore Season Five Trailer

You guys, we just watched the Jersey Shore season five trailer and, well, it felt like renewing our vows. We promised to watch Snooki and the gang in sickness and in health, and between the milk fights, crab flinging and cake strippers, it looks like this season is going with sickness. Kicking off January 5, Jersey Shore finds the sepia-hued gang back in Seaside Heights for more thrills, spills (of the Meatball variety) and Deena falling down under an overstuffed garbage bag. And Deena crying. And Deena almost getting knocked off a dock by an exceptionally large breeze. Either way, we picked out seven moments that made us think that season five might be the best season of all. The duck phone forever!

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by (@hallekiefer)

Jersey Shore’s Vinny Gets Put On Blast For Rape Rap Lyrics

Looks like the combination of menthol smoke, bronzer particles and the incessant quacking of that duck phone has finally started to dissolve Vinny’s brain. How else can you explain why the Jersey Shore star included a reference to rape in his new rap song “Vinny Rack City Mix”? Posted earlier today to YouTube, the song lyric in question reads, “Actin’ like I’m raping it/F–k her ’til she fakin’ it.” Was Vinny just staring at his computer screen at 3:00am, thinking, “Hmm, what’s the only thing that can make this song even more horrifying to the human ear? Give it a terrible name? No, that’s not it. Oh, I’ve got it! Rape!” At least he admits the probable likelihood that a woman would have to fake it with him. Meanwhile, we can’t even.

The Shore star has since yanked the video off YouTube, and posted to Twitter about the backlash. “Whoa! Some people really know how to take things out of context ! #LearnToListenToMusic …It was fun though!,” he tweeted. We would love to know what “context” would make that line appropriate, Vinny. Actually, no, we wouldn’t! We would never want to know that. We would give anything to never, ever know.

by (@missmuttoo)

Kris Humphries Has A New BFF … And He’s From Jersey!

Man, we love celebrity friendships. In the oddest BFF pairing we’ve heard of, it seems Kris Humphries and Vinny Guadagnino are now homies. Us Weekly reports that Mr. Kardashian and the Jersey Shore guido had a proper “boys night out” at STK in L.A recently, where Kris “seemed to be in good spirits.” The bromance was sealed when they two flew from New York to Las Vegas earlier this month, where a source says, “Kim slept the entire time while [Vinny and Kris] chatted the whole way.”

We see plot lines evolving on Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Perhaps a story where Kim’s miffed that her husband is spending too much time with his bro? Tears! Drama! A walk on the Jersey Shore in moonlight to make up. Ah, the joys of “reality” television.

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Jersey Shore’s Vinny Dances With Kids. And It’s Mezmerizing.

We admit that on the surface, a video of Vinny Guadagnino dancing with children doesn’t sound all that interesting. But that’s where you’re wrong. So very very wrong.  For some reason, this clip of the Jersey Shore star showing off his old-man-at-a-wedding dance moves has us completely under its spell. Take a hike, OK Go. There’s a new music video king in town! The masterpiece starts with Vinny asleep on the couch, before he wakes up and presses play on Foster The People‘s insanely catchy ‘Pumped Up Kicks’.  His body soon starts to succumb to the beats, while children pop out of nowhere to join in. From then on it’s four-and-a-half minutes of one-take glory destined to go viral. The zillion times we’ve watched it so far will make sure of that. Vinny is officially the coolest baby sitter of all time.

by (@hallekiefer)

Vinny Leaves The Jersey Shore, Possibly For Good

Ah, Vinny: the Jersey Shore’s forgotten child. Not quite as naively insane as Snooki, not so genuinely douche-tacular as The Situation, but always ready to violently waffle between sweet lug and dead-eyed smoosh hunter. Alas, his days of fixing the downstairs toilet might be over, as according to TMZ Jersey Shore‘s Vinny Guadagnino packed up his bags Friday following a fight with a cast member (almost certainly Ronnie, right?) and high-tailed it back to to Staten Island. Vinny was reportedly feeling “burned out,” which, to complicate matters, is also a side effect of massive doses of self-tanner.

However, in case you’re suspecting a repeat of Sammi‘s infamous escape and return in JS season three, sources are reporting that is Vinny is out for good. “We don’t comment on series while they are in production but viewers can be assured they will have answers when Season 5 premieres,” MTV responded. However, a source allegedly told US Weekly, “I don’t think he will be back.” Of course we won’t be seeing season 5 for months, so by that time the only question we might need answered is, “Who will Snooki hopelessly pine for now?”