2012! The year of The (supposed) Apocalypse. The year of “Call Me Maybe” (which may be related to the Apocalypse, who really knows?). And, finally, the year of a few ill-fated celebrity hookups. Call them flings or fleeting romances or however else you hold on to your faith in true love, from Skrillex and Ellie Goulding to Russell Brand and Ginger Spice, these are the celebs who got together and then quickly broke apart this very year:
Trying to keep up with Rihanna’s relationship rumors is like trying to keep track of the most complex soap opera in human history. The “We Found Love” singer seems to find new love about as often as the rest of us change socks. At least it you believe the tabloids, that is. For all we really know, Rihanna could be living the life of a nun…a very scantily clad nun. But barely a week goes by when a story of Riri’s new alleged hookup comes spiraling out into the gossip universe, and this long weekend wasn’t any different.
Rihanna was spotted at the Miami club LIV on Sunday getting their swag on in the Florida heat along side long-rumored flame Drake. But they can’t be together because the New York Daily News says she hooking up with bad boy New York Knicks player J.R. Smith. But how can that be if she’s seducing the recently legal Justin Bieber!? No, you’re all wrong: She’s actually entered into a lesbian relationship with her dear friend Melissa Forde. But is Ashton Kutcher involved!? If so, HOW!??!
It’s all too much! So to help you make sense of the swirling vortex that we call Rihanna’s speculative love-life, we’ve assembled this helpful (and very thorough) timeline of all her hookups and relationships, both real and imagined. Enjoy!
[Photo: Getty Images]
Nothing demonstrates the highs and lows of post-sitcom fame like these two stories from the weekend: Ashton Kutcher has signed on to play Steve Jobs in an upcoming biopic (we totally called it, btw), and Lisa Robin Kelly was arrested for domestic violence. You’re forgiven if you don’t remember Kelly — she played Eric’s hot older sister Laurie, who once dated Kutcher’s Kelso, on That ’70s Show for four seasons. (She left the show amid rumors of drug problems, returned to the show for a few eps in season five and then was replaced by Christina Moore in season six.) Actually, the popular Fox sitcom, which is on every day and night in syndication, is one of those rare shows that was neither a curse nor a surefire launching pad for its stars. We thought we’d look back on how its stars faired after leaving the Formans’ basement behind for good, and scored them on a scale of 1 to 5 Day-Glo flowers.
[Photos: Getty Images, Pacific Coast News]
I’ve met Wilmer Valderrama. He actually seemed rather sweet and smart. But I’ve also seen Minka Kelly in person. Those two do not orbit in the same solar system of hotness. And yet, like Lindsay Lohan, Demi Lovato and Mandy Moore before her, Minka was spotted “kissing and grinding” with the That ’70s Show alum at a club in L.A. over the weekend. Dude must be suuuper charming.
And in other unbelievable couple news, In Touch (the kings of unbelievable couple news) has a story about Johnny Depp visiting Ashley Olsen’s Tribeca apartment for two days back in February. Johnny. Freaking. Depp. Who is 48 and still claiming to be with Vanessa Paradis, despite rumors of their split. Actually, the story says that he was seen leaving a building connected to Ashley’s building on February 27, and then quotes another source saying he arrived there on February 26. But anyway, say we were to believe this story — the 25-year-old actress-turned-fashion-maven also has a pretty nice collection of exes, including The Hangover’s Justin Bartha, Lance Armstrong and Jared Leto.
So what we’re saying is, Ashley and Wilmer, can you please teach us your magical courtship rituals? This might be your ticket to no longer being associated with long-dead sitcom careers. And our ticket to snagging love interests waaay out of our league too.
The 2011 Latin Grammys were held at the Mandalay Bar Resort and Casino in Las Vegas last night. And it seems that sequins and metallics were the order of the night. Zoe Saldana wore an emerald green column by Elie Saab (à la Gwyneth Paltrow at the Bambi awards, but minus the cleavage). ShakiraÂ — who was honored as the Person of the Year —Â looked ethereal in a goldÂ embroidered gown with a jewel-encrusted bodice, while Sofia Vergara wore a silver strapless gown byÂ Reem Acra. Paulina Rubio wore two outfits and both were heavy on the hardware. She wore a metallic silver gown on the green carpet, and put on a violet (with gold highlights) short, skintight romper to perform in.
The only one who didn’t get the memo was Demi Lovato, but she outshone everyone regardless in a plum gown that plunged down to her navel. It nearly popped our eyeballs.Â MuyÂ caliente! Also, the color Demi wore matched Wilmer Valderrama’s shirt. Cue eyebrow raising. Our gallery below has all the action, including gentlemen like Marc Anthony, Pitbull,Â Usher and Taboo.
[Photos: /Getty Images]
Ashton Kutcher partied with his posse of boys in L.A last night. He was hosting a party for eyewear brand Warby Parker and hung out with his That ’70s Show gang, Wilmer Valderrama and just-hitched Danny Masterson, who was DJ-ing. The actor looked relaxed and as a source points out, “Ashton was just catching up with the guys and mingling. He was just hanging out.” Some pretty cool pictures came out of the night due to Ashton’s tweeting, including the collage above. Nothing wrong with a boys’ night out, but seriously, where the hell is Demi Moore? He’s been out solo for some time now, including his last public event at GQ‘s Gentleman’s Ball. What’s the status with those two? Are we ever going to see the couple out together again?
Things are really on the upswing for Demi Lovato. She and Wilmer Valderrama were photographed making out in L.A this week. Wilmer entered Demi’s life following her breakup with Joe Jonas, but that fizzled out as her other issues, including rehab, took precedence over her life. But she’s back on track now and looking quite healthy and happy. Enter love, perhaps?
Her spokesperson quite tellingly said, “We’re not going to comment on this.” Which almost always means something’s up in Celebrity Land. We’re going to try not to rain on her parade, so here’s us not freaking out at all about their 12-year age difference — she’s 19, he’s 31. Okay, not happening. We’re freaking out a little. Is that something everyone is cool with? Let us know!
We can’t be sure, but it seems like Demi Lovato is experiencing all the big, difficult events that normally span a person’s entire life, only this time it’s been crammed into a sixth month period. Such is the life of a celebrity, apparently. On the heels of her own stay in a treatment center last December, Demi Lovato’s mom Dianna De La Garza entered rehab recently. “It has been a tough year for Demi, and her mom has been a constant source of support. But fame has also taken its toll on her family,”a source told The New York Post. “Now [that] Demi is strong again, her mom could take some time to deal with her own issues.” Reportedly Dianna is already out of rehab, suggesting that her treatment lasted approximately as long as it took for you to read this paragraph, or three years in Celebri-Time.
As if that wasn’t enough for a teenage pop star to deal with, reportedly Demi Lovato and Wilmer Valderrama broke up recently as well; the two reportedly went out prior to Lovato’s stay in rehab, and were spotted out together as recently as February. Wow, Wilmer Valderrama. We haven’t heard his name a really long time, maybe nine months, which calculates out to…five thousand Famous People Years.
[Photo: Splash News Online]
While we haven’t seen From Prada To Nada yet, they’re going to have a hard time coming up with something funnier than the outfit star Camilla Belle wore to the film’s LA premiere last night. Why pick between a Annie Hall business suit and an overtanned bikini bombshell look when you can have both, right? To paraphrase MST3k, its a smart, subtle look that screams LOOK AT THESE.Ã‚Â Jake Gyllenhaal might want to skip past Belle and head straight to Demi Lovato on his checklist of Joe Jonas‘ exes. At least that girl is doing something about her crazy.
Get a better look at Belle’s bonkers outfit in the gallery below. All that’s missing are a pair of maracas.
Poor Demi Lovato. You get in one fistfight with a backup dancer and all of a sudden, you ship off to rehab and all your secrets come out. Ever since Lovato checked herself into a treatment center, rumors have swirled that she’s a cutter with an eating disorder, she’s upset that her ex, Joe Jonas, is dating Ashley Greene, and as of today, she apparently has a raging coke habit and is dating Wilmer Valderrama, who is twelve years her senior.
The New York Daily News writes that Lovato’s been turning to drugs and booze lately, ever since her split with Jonas. Brian Payne, a college student in Texas who said Lovato partied with him and his friends last year said “She was doing line after line like a pro – and she was 17 at the time. I just remember her doing it [cocaine] as if she had been doing it for a long time. It didn’t seem like something new to her.” Other sources have claimed Lovato was ” partying” on the night of her altercation with her dancer, which could mean anything, but makes drug use more of a possibility.
As for her relationship with Valderrama, whose lust for the younger ladies is a little creepy at this point (remember when he talked about taking Mandy Moore‘s virginity on Howard Stern? Yeah, gross), the two met while filming a PSA for earthquake relief in March and were romantically linked as far back as May. Valderrama’s rep denies a relationship, but a source says Demi would display photos of the two of them while she was on tour and would introduce him to people as her boyfriend.
We hope that Demi gets the help she needs for whatever demons she’s battling, but in the meantime, let’s just take a look back at Wilmer’s past “demons”, a.k.a. the very young ladies he’s dated. Ironically, he does seem to have a positive effect on the careers of most of the girls he’s been with, but it’s still creepy that while he gets older, the girls seem to get younger.
[Photos: Splash News Online/Getty Images]