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  • Season 1, Ep 4

Holy Mackleroni

Cipha jumps at the opportunity to prank Rosenberg when notorious hardcore rapper Maino visits the station. Meanwhile, Laura has trouble putting together an impromptu birthday celebration for guest Macklemore.

aired 04/21/2014 · 20:20

- [whistling]

- WHAT? COME ON!

WHY ARE YOU BUYING CANDYFROM THE MACHINE?

- 'CAUSE I'M HUNGRY.

- I KNOW, BUT THIS DOESN'THELP THE CHILDREN AT ALL.

THIS DOESN'T BENEFIT ANYBODYEXCEPT YOU,

AND IT'S BAD FOR YOU.

- IT'S TRAIL MIX.

- YOU WEREN'T GONNAGET TRAIL MIX.

I NEED--I'M TRYINGTO MAKE A QUOTA FOR NIKO

BECAUSE THEY HAVE A SCOOTER,BETWEEN ME AND YOU.

- UM...

- WELL, ALSO IT'STO HELP THE KIDS IN THE SCHOOL,

MAINLY.

THE MONEY IS FOR THE KIDS,

BUT THE THING ISIS THAT, YOU SEE,

THERE IS AN AWARDFOR THE KID

WHO SELLS THE MOST CANDY,

AND WE WANT IT.

GIVE ME YOUR WALLET.I'M GONNA DO IT FOR YOU.

- DON'T GET IN MY WALLET.- WELL, YOU'RE TAKING TOO LONG.

I TOLD YOU THIS MORNINGI HAD IT,

AND YOU TOOK TOO LONG,AND I'M GONNA TAKE THIS.

BYE.- YOU NEVER DELIVER THE CANDY.

OH.- IT'S FOR THE CHILDREN!

DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE CANDY!

- NOW I GOT TO GOTO MACKLEMORE'S BIRTHDAY HUNGRY

AND EAT CAKE LIKE A FAT BOY,

LIKE CIPH AND ROSENBERG.

REALLY?REALLY?

HE'S NOT TURNING ONE YEARS OLD.

IT'S NOT HIS FIRST BIRTHDAY.

- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YOU DIDN'T EVENGIVE ME A BUDGET.

YOU DIDN'T GIVE ME MONEY.

I PULLED THIS [bleep] OUTOF MY ASS LAST MINUTE.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?- CUT HER SOME SLACK.

- I'M TELLING YOU,THIS LOOKS LIKE CRAP.

- IT'S GONNA BE GOOD.DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

- NO, THIS IS CRAP.- IT'S GONNA BE GOOD.

- THIS GIFT BETTER SET THIS OFF.

- IF EBRO'S MAD ABOUTTHE CHEESY PARTY DECORATIONS,

HE'S GONNA BE REALLY MADWHEN HE FIND OUTS

I DIDN'T GET MACKLEMOREA GIFT.

OH, MY GOD.

- THE PARTY'S IN THERE.WHAT'S GOING ON?

- I'M STRESSED.- WHY ARE YOU OUT HERE?

- IT WAS MY DUTY,AS THE BIRTHDAY COMMITTEE,

TO PULL THIS OFF,

AND I DON'T HAVE A GIFT.

- MM.- YOU UNDERSTAND?

LISTEN, EBRO TOLD ME, WE CAN'TPISS OFF ANOTHER ARTIST.

- MM-MM.

- I DON'T KNOWWHAT I'M GONNA DO.

- WHAT'S THAT OVER THERE?

- [giggles]

- FEELS GOOD.IT FEELS GOOD?

- WHAT IS THIS?FLEX.

- YOU'RE GONNA WIN.YOU'RE GONNA WIN WITH THAT.

YOU'RE GONNA WIN.- I OWE YOU BIG TIME.

- I'MA COME IN LATER.

AROUND HERE AT HOT 97,

I'M KNOWNAS "THE CRISIS SOLVER."

OKAY?

AND LAURA SEEMED LIKESHE WAS HAVING A CRISIS,

SO I HAD MY ARMY OF INTERNSPUT TOGETHER A REAL NICE GIFT.

I THINK HE'S GONNA LIKE IT.

- OKAY.

- GUYS, GUYS, GUYS,HE'S HERE.

HE'S HERE.GET READY.

- YO, THIS IS HORRIBLE, MAN.

THIS IS SO BAD.

all: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

[horns honking,maracas shaking]

- WOW.- YEAH!

- HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

[all cheering]

- LOOK, WE GOT A GIFT FOR YOU.- WE GOT YOU A PRESENT.

- YOU GUYS MADE ME A CAKE,CUPCAKES, PRESENTS.

- YES.- WOW.

[dramatic music]

THIS IS AMAZING.

all: YEAH!- YEAH, ALL RIGHT. LOOKS GREAT!

- MACARONI.

- A MACARONI MACKLEMORE.

- LAURA--SHE'S A SUPERSTAR,RIGHT?

I PUT A LITTLE PRESSUREON MY GIRL.

SHE COMES THROUGH IN THE CLUTCHWITH A GREAT GIFT.

YEAH, SHE COULD BE ONTHE BIRTHDAY COMMITTEE FOREVER.

- MACARONI MACKLEMORE.[laughs]

- THAT'S AMAZING.

[all cheering]

- THANK YOU SO MUCH.

- IT'S MACKLE-RONI!

MACKLE-RONI.

[knocking]

- MY MAN, ROSENBERG.

- MAINO.- GET IN THE CAR.

- WELL, LISTEN, I WANTED--- GET IN THE CAR.

- I WAS JUST GONNA--- GET IN THE CAR.

- MAINO AND I WERE SUPPOSEDTO WATCH WRESTLING,

AND I'M NOT CANCELLINGOR CHICKENING OUT,

I'M SIMPLY POSTPONING...

UM, FOR AS LONG AS NECESSARY

FOR MY BUILDING TO UPDATEOUR SECURITY MEASURES.

HEY.

- SO WHAT'S HAPPENING, BUDDY?

WE ALL READY?WE ALL SET?

- ACTUALLY, I WAS THINKING,[clears throat]

MAYBE TONIGHT'SNOT THE BEST NIGHT.

- NO, TONIGHT IS THE BEST NIGHT.

IT'S THE WRESTLING NIGHT.

I GOT ALL THE HOMIES.

EVERYTHING IS SET UP.

- I JUST DON'T FEEL GREAT.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?I JUST--

- WHAT THE [bleep] ISYOU TALKING ABOUT?

I--I--

I KNOW YOU'RE NOT TRYINGTO CANCEL ON ME.

- [laughs] NO.

- BE HONEST,LOOK AT ME IN MY--

IS IT BECAUSE I'M BLACK?

- WHAT?THAT--WHAT?

NO WAY.

I AM NOT SCARED OF MAINOBECAUSE HE'S BLACK.

I'M SCARED OF MAINO'CAUSE HE'S [bleep] MAINO.

- WHAT AM I THINKING ABOUT?OKAY.

UM, GET THE [bleep] OUT.

- IT'S A POSTPONEMENT.- GET THE [bleep] OUT NOW.

- CAN I--- [whooshes]

- IF I--- GET--NOBODY MOVE.

HE HAS TO GET THE [bleep] OUT.

- THIS--I DON'T WANT TO BE WEIRD.

I DON'T WANT TO BE WEIRD.

[grunting]

NICE AND EASY.

NICEAND EASY.

- YEAH.- [grunts]

- HEY, PETER.

COME HERE, MAN.

- LISTEN.

- I WAS JUST [bleep] WITH YOU.

ME AND CIPHA, WE--- YOU AND CIPH MADE THIS UP?

- YEAH, WE PUT THIS TOGETHER,MAN.

- ARE YOU KIDDING?- WE JUST KID--

- YOU'RE SERIOUS?COME HERE, MAN.

COME ON!

[laughing]YES.

YES!

- IT'S ALL LOVE, MAN.IT'S ALL LOVE.

ALL JOKES, MAN.

- WHOO!

THAT WAS QUITE A DAY.

I ACTUALLY EVENUPDATED MY WILL...

[laughs]THIS AFTERNOON.

AND, OH, CIPH,

YOU ARE NO LONGER GETTINGMY FLAVOR FLAV CLOCK.

[bleep]HOLE.

ALL RIGHT, MAN.I'LL SEE YOU SOON.

- YEAH, I'LL SEE YOUAT YOUR HOUSE TONIGHT.

I'LL BE THERE.I'LL MEET YOU.

- TONIGHT?

- [chuckling]