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  • Season 1, Ep 3

Training Day

On mandatory sensitivity training day, the gang finds it hard to stay on the straight and narrow, especially in the face of Flex’s new Funkmaster Flex doll that says something highly inappropriate.

aired 04/14/2014 · 20:13

- I'M HERE.

- DON'T YOU FIND BALLSIS A FUNNY WORD?

- BALLS IS A FUNNY WORD.

- LIKE, YOU SHOULD SAYBALLS ON YOUR SHOW MORE.

- WE CAN'T GET AWAY WITH THAT.BALLS.

- BALLS.- BALLS.

- CAN WE SAY BALLS?

- THERE'S NOTHING WRONGWITH THE WORD.

IT'S NOT, LIKE,F.C.C. REGULATED.

- I'M OKAY WITH THE WORD BALLS.

- BALLS.

LOOK, IF YOU'RE SENSITIVE,YOU SHOULDN'T WORK FOR HOT 97.

IF YOU WANT PEOPLE TO BE ALLPOLITE AND THANK YOU AND HELLO

AND HOW ARE YOU, LIKE,GOT WORK AT LIGHT FM.

GOOD [bleep] HAPPENS HERE.SORRY.

SO DOES IT BOTHER YOUTHAT ROSENBERG'S BALLS

ARE THAT CLOSETO YOUR NECK?

- YO--

[laughter]

COME ON, MAN.

- BALL AND YOUR NECK STRETCH.- NOT ON THE NECK.

- BOW, [bleep] [bleep] [bleep]!

WANT THIS ACTION?

[laughter]

- WELCOME TO OUR SENSITIVITY

AND BUSINESS CONDUCTTRAINING COURSE.

THE REASON WHY WE'RE HEREIS BECAUSE THERE HAVE BEEN

SEVERAL COMPLAINTSTO THE H.R. DEPARTMENT

THAT HAVE CONSTITUTEDUNPROFESSIONAL WORK CONDUCT,

INAPPROPRIATE LANGUAGE,AND HAS OFFENDED MANY EMPLOYEES.

- THIS IS THE THING I DON'T LIKEABOUT HAVING YOU GUYS AROUND.

EVERYTHING I SAY OR DOIS ON TAPE,

AND NOW I'M CONSTANTLYIN TROUBLE.

IT'S BULL[bleep].

- CURSE WORDSARE COMPLETELY OFFENSIVE

AND MUST STOP IMMEDIATELY.

- THE THING IS, PAT--

AND I SAY THIS TO YOURESPECTFULLY--

- I APPRECIATE THAT.

- WE'RE ON AIR,SO IT'S HOW WE COMMUNICATE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSETO SAY TO HIM

EXCEPT SHUT THE [bleep] UP

WHEN HE'S TALKING TO MUCH.

- RIGHT,I'M NOT OFFENDED BY THAT.

- HOW ELSE DO I SAY THAT?

- I'M IN YOUR VICINITY,AND I'VE GOTTEN OFFENDED

BY THE WAYTHAT YOU'VE SPOKEN TO HIM.

- SO I SHOULD QUIETLYSAY IT TO HIM,

"SHUT THE [bleep] UP."

- NO, YOU SHOULD NOT.

I WOULD SAY, "WOULD YOUPLEASE MIND BEING QUIET?"

- WE SHOULDN'T BE IN HERE

LEARNING HOW TO BEMORE SENSITIVE.

THE PEOPLE WHO ARE SENSITIVESHOULD BE IN HERE

LEARNING HOW TO NOTBE SENSITIVE.

THAT WOULD BE PRODUCTIVE.

- DOES ANYBODYWANT TO TALK ABOUT

WHAT EFFECTIVECOMMUNICATION STYLES

ARE APPROPRIATEFOR THE WORKPLACE?

- CAN I HELP OUT HERE?- YES.

- HEY, PETER, YOUR FOOD STINKS.

CAN YOU EAT IT SOMEWHERE ELSE?

- WAS THAT REALLY GOOD, THOUGH?

'CAUSE THAT STILLHURT MY FEELINGS.

- AND HOW WOULD YOU RESPONDWITHOUT RESPONDING EMOTIONALLY?

- UM...[clears throat]

I BELIEVE I WOULD GO,"CAN YOU, EBRO,

PLEASE SHUT YOUR BITCH ASS UP"--

- I WOULD THEN SLAP THAT [bleep]SUSHI OUT OF YOUR HAND.

- OKAY.ALL RIGHT.

THAT'S HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE,

AND YOUR WORDS ARE HURTING MERIGHT NOW.

- I'M GONNA SO USE THAT."YOUR WORDS ARE HURTING ME."

[laughter]

- AT THIS POINT,I THINK IT'S A GOOD TIME

TO TAKE A BREAK.

WHEN WE GET BACK TOGETHER,

THERE'LL BESOME GROUP EXERCISES.

I'LL SEE YOU SOON.- WHY?

- SHE HATES US, BY THE WAY.

SHE'S A GOOD LADY, PAT,AND SHE HATES US NOW.

- WITH OLD MIKE, BE LIKE,"MY NAME'S PETER,

HE'D BE LIKE, BOOM!

BUT NEW MIKE IS LIKE,"OH, BLESSINGS."

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

- HE'S MY HERO,AND THIS IS INSANE.

SO I'M MANNING UP,

AND I'M GONNA TELL"IRON" MIKE TYSON

WHAT MY NAME REALLY IS.

IF IT DOESN'T GO WELL,

TELL MY WIFE I ADORE HER,

AND TELL BEAR THE DOGHE'S THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.

- YOUR NAME IS YOUR NAME.

IF YOU WANT IT TO BE PETER,

THEN YOU GOT TO TELL HIM.

MIKE.

- YOU GOT THE BOOK.

- I WANT TO HAVE MIKESIGN ONE FOR ME, ACTUALLY.

- YOU GOT IT, DAVE.

- UM, ALL RIGHT.YOU KNOW WHAT?

THIS IS A GOOD TIME.I WANTED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.

- NO PROBLEM.

- THE THING IS, UM,YOU ALWAYS CALL ME DAVE.

- YEAH.

- WOULD YOU RATHER DAVID,TO HAVE, LIKE, PROPER--

- SHUT UP, CIPH.

MY NAME ISN'T--- BUT, DAVE--

- DAH-VEED.

- NO, MY NAME ISN'T DAVEOR DAVID OR DAH-VEED.

UM, MY NAME IS ACTUALLY PETER.

- HEY,CAN WE CURSE IN THIS SHOW?

- YEAH.- YES.

- [bleep] THAT.IT'S DAVE.

- WHY WOULD YOU BRING IT UP?

WHO CARES IF HE CALLS YOU DAVE?

MIKE TYSON WILL LAY YOU OUT,

AND WE WILL LET YOU LAY THERE.

- ALL THESE YEARS,I'VE BEEN CALLING YOU DAVID,

AND YOU NEVER MADENO COMPLAINTS ABOUT IT.

AND YOU NEVER SAID,"MY NAME IS PETER," RIGHT?

- THE MAN MAKESAN EXCELLENT POINT.

- I JUST--I FEEL LIKEI'M A GROWN MAN,

AND NOW THAT I KNOW YOU, I JUSTFEEL LIKE WHEN YOU SEE ME,

YOU SHOULD BE LIKE,"WHAT'S UP, PETER?"

'CAUSE IF YOU SAY,"WHAT'S UP, DAVE,"

AND THEN OTHER PEOPLE--IT'S JUST WEIRD.

- COME ON, GET IT TOGETHER,MAN, DAVE, ALL RIGHT, MAN?

- I DON'T KNOW.MY PARENTS CALL ME PETER, MAN.

I JUST--THAT'S MY NAME.

- LISTEN, MAN,

I KNOW A DAVID ROSENBERG,SO I GET IT CONFUSED, AND, UM--

- I'M PETER.

- YOU WANT TO BE CALLED PETER,IT'S PETER.

- AW, HE'S A GOOD GUY.- OKAY?

- YOU SURE?I DON'T WANT TO--

I DON'T WANT YOU--

- I LOVE--NO, I LOVE NEW MIKE.

- AND, UH--- YOU HAPPY NOW?

- I'M--I'M HAPPY, AND I--

ALSO, IF YOU'D SIGN THE BOOK,IT WOULD MEAN THE WORLD TO ME.

I'D KEEP THIS IN MY LIVING ROOM.- OH, MAN.

- AND, UM, NOW THAT YOUACTUALLY KNOW MY NAME--

- YEAH, YOU DON'T EVEN HAVETO WORRY ABOUT THAT [bleep].

- PUT IT ON, LIKE, THE MANTEL,AND, UM...

- MAN.- THAT'S AWESOME.

- MY PLEASURE, BROTHER.

- THANK YOU, MAN.- WELCOME, PETER.

- ALL RIGHT, APPRECIATE IT.- CAN WE GO NOW?

- I SPOKE MY MIND TO MIKE TYSON,

AND HE RESPECTED ME AS A MAN,

AND NOW I HAVE AN AUTOGRAPHEDMIKE TYSON AUTOBIOGRAPHY

TO HAVE AND CHERISH FOREVER.

- HE SIGNED IT DAVE, DIDN'T HE?

- YEAH, HE DID.

- LISTEN,I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.

I KNOW YOU TOOKA HUGE CHUNK OUT OF YOUR DAY

TO DO SENSITIVITY TRAINING.

- SENSITIVITY TRAINING--I'M--I'M CONFUSED.

I DIDN'T HAVE TO--- YOU DIDN'T GO.

YOU WEREN'T THERE.YOU MISSED IT.

- FLEX, YOU'RE HEREBECAUSE I WANT TO THANK YOU

FOR RECALLING THE DOLL.

OBVIOUSLY--- WHAT?

- NO.

I KNOW I TOLD ALEX I WAS GONNABREAK THE NEWS TO FLEX

ABOUT HIS DOLL,BUT HE WAS SO HAPPY, MAN.

I DIDN'T WANT TOBREAK HIS LITTLE HEART.

- WHAT HAPPENED?

- IT WAS INAPPROPRIATE--- WHAT WAS INAPPROPRIATE?

- AND IT HAS THE HOT 97 LOGO.

- IT--IT--

- WOULD YOU LIKE TO SHARE?

- DID I MISS SOMETHING?- WE TALKED.

- WHAT'D WE TALK ABOUT?

- YOUR DOLL SAYS [bleep], MAN.

- [laughs]- THE DOLL SAYS [bleep]--

IT DOES NOT SAY [bleep].

- [bleep] MASTER FLEX.

- OH, IT SAYS [bleep].

- [laughing]IT SAYS [bleep] MASTER FLEX.

[laughter]

- [bleep] MASTER FLEX.

[laughter]

- I DON'T HEAR IT.

- IT SAYS [bleep] MASTER FLEX.

- IT [bleep] SAYS IT, ALL RIGHT.

- [bleep] MASTER FLEX.

[laughter]

- COME ON, [bleep] MASTER.

PUT YOUR [bleep] HEAD IN IT.

- WHAT THE [bleep]?- [bleep].

- REALLY?- [bleep] MASTER?

- [bleep] [bleep]!

- IT'S ALL ABOUT DONE.

EVERY DAY.

MONDAY THROUGH FRIDAY.

NOW WE GOT SATURDAY.

STEAL MY SATURDAY?

I DON'T HOST GIGS.

I DON'T DJ.

WHERE'S THE GM?OH, SHE'S HOME.

'CAUSE IT'S [bleep] SATURDAY.

BUT THEY WILL NOT TAKE ME DOWN.