It’s been almost nine months since Britney kicked K-Fed to the curb and busted out her short-lived spell of hotness. Since then we’ve been anxiously awaiting her comeback, which has instead been one big letdown made up of rehab, buzzcuts and cheeseball tattoos. But Spears may have an opportunity to put a new face forward on August 31st, when she hosts the Las Vegas opening of the LAX nightclub at the Luxure Hotel.
We can almost see it now (cue dream sequence music): Britney – with set of hair extensions that costs more that $10 – appears in an actual bra and a dress that fits, and spends the night skipping the booze for energy drinks. Her fake nails have been buffed down and her ratty flips flops have been replaced with a nice pair of Louboutins. She discreetly chews Nicorette and only dons a cowboy hat for a few minutes, when the DJ plays "Cotton Eyed Joe". She then gracefully exits the soiree to enjoy a dinner of Cheetos and fine caviar. Make it happen Brit – dreams can come true (specifically, mine)!