From the Desk of Britney J. Spears:
Oops ya’ll! Kevin’s lawer is all PO’ed at me because I like, drove my Mercedes Benz (it cost a lot of money!) without a real California license. Big deal! I have a fake license that my cousin gave me that has my actual name on it but instead of California it says “Bimbo’s Driver’s License!” How funny is that? Especially because I don’t even know what a bimbo is. I’m sure it’s something sexy. Anyhoodles, I got a real license too, from like Louisiana or Texas or wherever I grew up. I’m sure I can use that in California. And who cares if my kids were in the car or not? I had them strapped into their tiny people seats with duct tape and straps and stuff. They’re finnnneee. So what if it’s, like, illegal? I’m pretty sure I still have a lot of money, and you know people with money get away with bad stuff because we’re better than other people. Didn’t I just sell some perfume or my own line of hamburger meat or something? Whatever. I’m still rich.
I gotta go pee now.
rum and cokes my fans my kids, ya’ll!