Court Makes Britney Crave Drugs & Sex

by (@katespencer)

britney-spears_1029.jpg“Eat it, lick it, snort it, f*ck it.” Those are the words of Britney Spears, who hooted the tasteful statement at reporters on Friday when asked in the courthouse how her custody hearing was going. Her provocative response offered great insight into how she’s doing — you just need to dig a little deeper into her words to understand her thoughts. Here’s what Brit was trying to tell us:

Eat it: Ohhhhh — we get it. The singer is pissed off at K-Fed’s girlfriend for revealing that her ex freaked when she would guzzle vodka drinks and then breastfeed their boys. Alcohol has nutrients, ya’ll! She was just trying to keep those kids healthy.

Lick it: Britney has a new boy toy — football star Tony Romo — and she wanted us to know what kind of kinky things they may or may not be up too! The two hung out and partied together Friday night after her hearing, toasting Britney’s earlier tears.

Snort it: No, she’s not talking about cocaine! She’d be like, wayyy more obvious about it if she was. She’s trying to tell us how much she was crying during her court hearing on Friday — and not because she may not get her kids back. Brit was just upset that no matter what she did, she couldn’t get her hair and sunglasses to look good!

F*ck it: In this case, Britney means what she says. Eff this crap with her kids — she just wants to party! Chances are when the judge’s ruling comes back this week (presumably in favor of the Fedster), she’ll finally get a chance to celebrate her new life as a single woman. Baby bottles of vodka for everyone! [Image: Getty]

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