Waddup. It’s your girl Brit – remember me? I know, I know – long time no pray. Sorry about that. I got busy marrying a couple people and I had some babies and – oh you probably know all this stuff, huh. Anyhoo, I need to talk to you about something – no, not the flashing problem. I’m trying to wear underwear now, thanks. Here’s the thing – I did a bunch of sexy pics for my new album that feature me posing on a priest’s lap (not a real priest, obviously!) in one of those confession booth thingies. Now all these leader-y people in the Catholic church are like, super mad at me! I was just trying to be
proactiv provocative and stuff – that’s why people pay attention to me! I wanna make sure you and I are still cool because you’re like my main homie – even if I don’t act like it I’m still totally religious-y. I wear a lot of necklaces with diamond crosses on them and I’m totally shouting you out! Okay, I think my hot pockets are done so I should stop prayin’ now and go eat.
Oh also, I pray that lotttttssss of people buy my new album today. Please?
Box Set: Britney Spears
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Who Are the Five Unsexiest Women Alive?
Britney’s Secret Diary Revealed
Britney Spears Lives in her Own World