What’s More Depressing Than Dating Jessica Simpson?

by (@katespencer)

jessicasimpson-1031.jpgThe cheesy songs. The creepy dad. The Proactiv commercials. The reality TV show. The shoe line, hair extension line, and bathing suit line. The slew of stupid movies. Nick Lachey. And…everything else. It makes us wonder – what is there to like about Jessica Simpson and why would Owen Wilson even want a piece?

The two have been spotted doing the usual Hollywood date and canoodle routine, and frankly we’re worried about the toll this is going to take on Owen’s fragile mental state. Perhaps one could claim that she’s just a fine piece of ass, but even her manufactured good looks are so fake it makes us seriously depressed. Listening to her tell stupid stories about that dumb dog she’s always lugging around or recounting her shopping trips to Louis Vuitton is enough to make someone want to…you know. Lip locking with Simpson is way more than just a kiss – it’s Owen self destructing! Jessica is worse for him than heroin, and – as we saw from her needy relationship with John Mayer – really hard to kick. [Image: Getty]

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