Myspace is home to a lot of crazies, but none so insane as our beloved rocker/mom/yo-yo dieter Courtney Love, who often entertains the masses with her loony, nonsensical blog posts. Her latest masterpiece clocked in at 3691 words, and – when cut and pasted into Word – stretched out over 6 and a half pages (12 pt Times New Roman font, single spaced). Allow us to dig through the misspellings, the tearing to shreds of Madonna and the overall insanity to bring you the best of her lengthy, take it out on the keyboard, therapy session.
- Courtney: but im icy ssad- madonna is a great business woma but come on she s weak as an artista nd we akl lknow it- i like madge – but as a relevant musician – its a joke shes singing from such a calculating thought out place all the time its never from her gut or heart or intuition so maybe it sounds great an dis slick and you can hum it -discxo n dance it but ambitionand sass and shrewd does not equal great art- hard work and major dsicipline doesnt equal great art and all of those are great things- i covet thenm i haVE great disciplne and i do work like a bionic thing.
- Translation: Courtney is dissing Madonna for being a sellout. Um, our girl Court needs to take a good hard look in the mirror. Pot, meet kettle!
- Courtney: so onto LESBIANS viva! contracts that i write zAnd create and if not obeyed there are built in penalties.if ethics are breached then i automcatrucally get to take money from your account tp the amount you took from me and its all legal.
- Translation: No idea, but “automcatrucally” is perhaps the greatest word ever created. It’s like a smart word for drunk people.
- Courtney: i have a huge pile of crytslas in this jar teh big piece of obsidian wich is supposed to reveal the evil you do not suspect in your life and it has done its job yes i am a crystal magic person.
- Translation: Courtney is channeling Janis Joplin. Someone should tell her that real rockers don’t wear skinny jeans – or have fake lips, for that matter.
- Courtney: i live in f***ing LOS ANGELES and i liocve is a SHGARK POOL and have scammers and rip off artists and f***ing eviul a dsf*ck motherf**ers ina nd ouyt of my life regularly and my protections are supposed to be rottwiler tight and if they are not then they need to change
- Translation: Help me! I’m scared of shgarks!