The music world was rocked this morning by a JFK-sized conspiracy: someone tried to tape Kid Rock backstage. In a news item posted on his website, Kid Rock reported that his head of security, Little Bear, found a camera in the dressing room at a recent tour stop at the Myth Nightclub in Minneapolis. “Little Bear, who runs SpyOps.net, discovered the device before the show and alerted the authorities who are now investigating,” said Rock.
It’s unclear what someone could be curious to know about Kid Rock, given his life-as-open-book policy with the public. We’ve seen the sex tape, we know about the miscarriage and we’ve giggled at the mugshot(s). It’s possible there’s a far more sinister plot going on, and something Kid Rock doesn’t want us to know. What could the hidden camera have captured? We came up with a few scenarios:
1. Kid Rock, swathed in his waffle-weave cotton robe, settling in after an intensive yoga session with some green tea and observing his vow of pre-show silence.
2. Transforming his backstage dressing room into command center for Hilary Clinton’s 2008 election campaign, Kid is hand-painting signs, taking a break from reading The Economist, then interrupted by a phone call from his good friend Al Gore.
3. Emptying cans of Miller High Life and filling them with imported beer.