Britney Strips & Shoplifts at Dildo House

by (@katespencer)

britney-spears-shoplifts.jpgWhat do you normally do on a Sunday night? Eat some leftovers or Chinese takeout, catch up on Curb Your Enthusiasm and head off to bed, right? But if you happen to be Britney Spears (which thankfully, is not the case), you trot your bad self to the Hustler sex toy shop in West Hollywood to try on some slutty underwear in the middle of the store. On November 18th Brit apparently loaded up on some panties at the shop and headed to the dressing room, but was told she could not try on the items. Now, for most of us adult humans this is a logical and obvious clothing store rule that anyone who’s ever had to buy underwear knows well. But maybe this was Brit’s first time? Her solution was to have a meltdown, after which she “took off her own underwear before trying on a pair of boyshorts (with “Barely Legal’ stitched across the rear end) in the middle of the store while 15 other customers looked on.” After being told she couldn’t strip and flash her vag in the middle of the store, Brit replied, “Well, I couldn’t take them in the fitting room!”

Oh logic, how Britney must miss you. B*tchy Brit bought the underwear (but not before she rolled her eyes at having to pay) and then stomped out of the store, grabbing a wig of a mannequin’s head on the way out. Yes, just like that rich girl you went to high school with who loved to steal bras from the local department store, Britney shoplifted and then rolled away in her Mercedes. Staffers at the Hustler store said talking to Britney was like “dealing with a child,” and alleged that she “looked out if it.” We’d hate to see what would happen if she was aware and perky. [Us Weekly. Image: Getty]