Britney’s Worst Year Ever: August

by (@katespencer)

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You were there through the bad driving, the head-shaving, and the Criss Angel thing. It?s been a tough year for our girl. No one could have imagined a mere 12 months ago that she?d create such glorious new nonsense every week. Some of the craziness escapes you? Come back every day: We?re counting down the events that made up the Year in Britney.

August 1Mom of the Year - The Britney backlash chugged on full steam ahead when numerous tabloids published disturbing details about B’s mothering skills. Teeth whitening for her tots! Feeding her babies juice! Just typical stuff in Britney’s Bizarre House of Horrors! [Us]

August 7 - I’m a Brainiac – Britney fortified her “crappy driver” status in August, when she hit a parked car while trying to pull into a parking spot. After declaring “I’m a brainiac” and asking the paps “what should I do?” Britney gets back to focusing on the important matter at hand, wailing, “Did I hurt my car?” Nope – just your reputation! [IDLYITW]

August 15Photoshopped much? – Britney appeared on the cover of Allure magazine, but damn, it sure didn’t look like Britney! Clean, sexy, not driving or chugging Starbucks – it was nice to see her looking so put together, even if it was a result of fabulous photo editing. [ONTD]

August 17 - Angel Eyes – BritBrit continued her quest to date every fugly dude in Hollywood when she took a liking to lame illusionist Criss Angel. The two were spotted carousing around Las Vegas, heightening the rumors that Britney would indeed perform at the VMAs. While Angel claimed they were pals with a mutal manager, working on a project together, the hours they spent holed up in hotel rooms seemed to signal otherwise. In the end, Criss was nowhere to be seen come the VMAs and as we know, Brit bombed. Maybe his magic tricks would have helped? [People, TMZ]