While You Were Having a Life…

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If you were too busy stuffing your face with junk to stuff your brain with gossip and entertainment news over the past few days, have no fear: we’ve rounded up the biggest pop-culture stories that happened over the long weekend. The following is all you need to know about what happened when you were on holiday or just too lazy to turn on the computer:

jay-z_roundup.jpgJay-Z Quit Def Jam – Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Jay-Z came to day, “Beyonc?, with your nose so bright…” Kidding! But Jay really did announce on the 24th that he’s leaving his post as president of Def Jam. There wasn’t much by way of explanation: in the vague wording of his official statement, he’s looking to “take on new challenges.” Bizarrely, he plans to keep recording for the label. If his history with retiring is any indication, expect him back in that leather seat and chomping on a cigar within a year’s time. [E! News]

Katherine Heigl Married – Bland led the bland as the world’s most inexplicable movie star met her singing, songwriting beau Josh Kelley at the aisle Sunday in Park City, Utah. And when they get divorced it will be just as uninteresting! [People]

Lindsay Lohan Turned Out To Be a Sex Addict - I knew she was too good in I Know Who Killed Me to be acting! [News of the World]

Michelle Rodriguez Spent Christmas in Jail – At least someone would have her over. [Us Weekly]

A Woman Was Arrested for Taking a Picture of R. Kelly in Court - And then he peed on her. [Yahoo!]

Will Smith Maybe Said Something Questionable About Hitler…? – On the goodness of human nature, Will Smith reportedly told a Scottish paper: “Even Hitler didn’t wake up going, ‘Let me do the most evil thing I can do today.’ I think he woke up in the morning and using a twisted, backwards logic, he set out to do what he thought was ‘good’. Stuff like that just needs reprogramming.” So, maybe it was foolish of him to attempt to get into Hitler’s brain in the first place, but whatever — he didn’t say that Hitler was good, he said that Hitler was deluded. The distinction was, apparently, lost on the Jewish Defense League who said that Will’s words “spit on the memory of every person murdered by the Nazis.” O RLY? The outcry caused Will’s rep to proclaim the allegations “a lie.” “It speaks to the dangerous power of an ignorant person with a pen.” So, wait, he didn’t say that, then? Sorry, I can’t hear anything over the Christmas carols and rustling of wrapping paper. [TMZ.com]

Britney Spazzed at the Paparazzi – For some, it’s the most wonderful time of the year. For others, it’s just business as usual. [TMZ.com]

[Image credit: Getty]

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