First of all guys, f*ck you, because I’m the only sideways mustache on a chin – a chin! – that you’re ever gonna see in your life. That alone right there proves how awesome I am. But if that isn’t enough, let’s just say I am attached to the dude who is currently trying to make babies with Britney Spears. Yeah I said it - she wants his baby. Because Brit wants a tot that can rock a stache like this, dudes. For reals. Maybe you saw my main man Adnan Ghalib on TV last night, looking all sexy and smug and babbling about how he wants to marry Britney. Well it’s true ya’ll, they love each other, and I get to go along for the ride. Click here if you want to see my sexiness in action (oh and Adnan too, chatting about the
paycheck love of his life). Finally, I want to respond to the billions of inquiries I’ve received as to how I look so good. My secret is this: I’m actually a Brazilian bikini wax, just done on a chin. Slam!