That poor car. Even though it’s not a living, breathing creature, we still feel bad for the thing. It’s so beautiful, in all its brand-new, $55,000 glory. Leather seats, GPS, luxurious steering wheel made of gold (we’re making that up because we’ve never been inside one of a rich person car, but this is probably true, right?). But soon it will be covered in Cheeto dust and Taco Bell Border Sauce, and its sweet sweet leather will be permeated by Marlboro Red smoke in a matter of minutes. So we were happy that the Mercedes (with Britney inside) ended up lost in the Hollywood Hills last night. Don’t even begin to think it was an accident, that car did it on purpose! It was trying to dump Britney off somewhere and run the f*ck away, like Forrest Gump on wheels. Just like everything else it Britney’s life, it was surely trying to escape her wrath.
Check out the video of Britney wandering around her car while rambling to the paps in a British accent trying to get home. It’s called a plane to Lousiana, Brit! Hop on it and don’t ever look back.