PETA to Britney: Come Work for Us!

by (@katespencer)

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The animal rights organization PETA has asked Britney Spears, notorious fur-lover and tiny dog hoarder, to come work at their headquarters for a day as a receptionist. Apparently her blink-and-you’ll-miss-it gig on How I Met Your Mother has inspired PETA head Ingrid Newkirk to bury the hatchet with the pop star. In an open letter published on the group’s blog, she writes:

“After seeing your excellent performance on How I Met Your Mother, PETA would like to offer you a real job as a receptionist. It could be for as little as an hour, and you would see?from the inside?why we are so concerned about issues like fur and homeless dogs and cats. As a “thank you” for your willingness to learn and help, we would donate $1,000 to a children’s charity.”

Chill out PETA. Brit isn’t ever going to “tell people about the misery that foxes, chinchillas, and other animals suffer on fur farms,” because her wardrobe depends on that misery! And without fur, what would cover up her stained dresses and her nipple slips? Seriously, what is more important – the life of innocent animals or the hiding of Brit’s vag behind a fur coat?! Yeah, we thought so.