Mariah Kicks Elvis’ Ass, Chirps Into History

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For every “Jailhouse Rock” there’s a “We Belong Together.” For every “All Shook Up” there’s a “Whenever You Call.” Punch for punch Mariah Carey has matched Elvis Presley in the singles department for years now – until today. Today’s the day she overthrew the King. With the arrival of “Touch My Body” at the top of the charts, the saucy R&B songbird kicks the ass of the Memphis master: Mariah now has 18 tracks that have reached the peak position. Champagne cocktails for everyone!

Next on the agenda: annihilate the achievements of John, Paul, George, and Ringo. The Beatles clocked 20 numero unos during their storied career. If Carey’s pending E=M2 bears the same kind of fruit as its predecessor, she may be the top dog of all time.

What – you’re tired of “Touch My Body” already? Crazy fool. Maybe this heavy-breathing remix with Rick Ro$$ and The Dream will revitalize you for a while.

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