Everybody Wants Beyonce to be Pregnant

by (@katespencer)

beyoncebaby.jpgJust days after Beyonce and Jay-Z allegedly capped off their six-year romance with a wedding, people are already whispering that the couple wed so quickly because Beyonce is knocked up. The alleged proof: their whirlwind nuptials, and that her sis Solange had a shotgun wedding a while back. Wow, so it must be true! Let me shatter the dreams of gossipy people around the world – she’s probably not pregnant. Aside from the fact that sisters love to do the exact opposite of each other (er, aside from Jamie-Lynn Spears and BritBrit), Beyonce and Jay-Z likely got married quickly so that we, the media, wouldn’t ruin it. And even though we kinda did by gawking at the whole thing, neither Beyonce or Jay have actually confirmed that they wed, which means THEY WIN. So don’t go around spreading pregnancy rumors just because you’re pissed that we still don’t know what kind of dress B wore. Besides, no one will believe it until we can spot a vague, hardly there, probably imaginary mini-bump. When that happens, I’ll be the first one to whisper the P word.