Beyonce Chowing Down for Phantom Baby

by (@katespencer)

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Can’t Beyonce and Jay-Z just enjoy being married for a while? Not everyone has to go and pull an Ashlee Simpson and get preggers and married all at once. B’s belly is the topic of much speculation (even though as you can see in the pic above from last week, there’s nothing there), as some pals are secretly coming forward to reveal that she’s currently knocked up. One loose-lipped friend says, “She has gained a lot of pregnancy weight. When she gains weight, she normally does the Def Jam detox, but not now.”

Wait a second. Forget the pregnancy – what the f*ck is the “Def Jam detox?!” Google is revealing nothing – does it involve listening to old Beastie Boys and LL Cool J tracks while eating salad? Rick Rubin, fill us in! Beyonce’s rep was having none of the baby buzz, and said, “I don’t know if she’s pregnant. Let me perform an ultrasound and get back to you.”

We’re waiting!

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