Halloween is coming up and it’s time to start getting serious about costumes if you don’t want to be a sexy [insert noun here] or a regular-person-but-just-covered-in-blood-because-that’s-all-you-had-time-to-buy. This Halloween dare to be a little bit braver, a little more irreverent, and a little more clever with your costumes. That’s right folks — no more Lady Gaga get ups, lest you be deemed “like, sah 2010!” There’s a wealth of cultural reference at your disposal this year, with 2011 being renamed the Chinese Year Of The Meme (it hasn’t really, I just said that to get your attention). We’ve picked out some of our favourite musical memes of the year in the hopes that you’ll be inspired to trick yourself out in the spirit of a wickedly self-aware Halloween…
Why? Only the baby of hip-pop royalty Jay-Z and Beyoncé could become an Internet meme and every GIF aficionado’s wet dream before the little tyke is even born. Barely beyond conception, Baby Bey-Z hit the Internet harder than “Friday” (see below) and made “Pregoncé” a word faster than you can say, “I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly.” For Halloween, go as Pregoncé in the costume she wore at the VMAs earlier this year when she
unleashed unveiled her newly rounded belly to the world.
How? We’ll start from the top down: first you need some crazy 70’s flicked blonde hair, wig it if you’re a brunette or a dude, and if you’re already blessed with the golden tresses, heat up those rollers, girl! Next you’ll need a white shirt (stuffed with a pillow, of course we don’t expect you to actually get pregnant) and black pants; easy. The sparkle blazer might be a bit harder. I suggest taking a cheap / second hand blazer, a can of spray on glue, a butt-load of glitter and having the absolute time of your life. Add some velcro to the inside of the blazer so it’s easy to rip open over the course of Halloween as you constantly re-enact the big reveal. Carry around a fake microphone so you can throw it down dramatically before you rub your belly emphatically and smile, smile, smile!
REBECCA BLACK, THE “FRIDAY” EDITION
Why? OMG, because, like, WHY NOT? Rebecca Black is the most prolific, recognizable music meme of 2011. In fact, if you have a functional Internet connection and don’t know who Rebecca Black is then you should be very, very ashamed of yourself. But that’s not to say her infamous song “Friday” is actually any good or that you should become a fan Miss Black for her pubescent je ne sais quoi — as well as being the most widespread music meme of the year, “Friday” was also the most annoying. Ergo; “Friday” is good because it’s bad. You follow?
How? The key to this costume will be your dedication to the character. You’ll need long, straight, dark hair, a purple tank top, black jeans and a bright yellow backpack, but the devil is in the detail. You can bring along an enlarged calendar page for Friday if the parties you’re going to are full of cavemen who need it spelled out for them. Otherwise, focus on honing your attitude. Eat cereal. Be very unsure of which seat you should take. Refer to everything as “fun, fun, fun!” and describe exactly what is it that is happening around you i.e. “my friend is sitting to my right!” Where possible, use your iPhone to T-Pain / auto-tune your voice and speak to people in this manner all night. It will be awkward while you record your answers, but also awesome when you play them back.
EPIC SAX GUY
Why? I will kiss you on the mouth if you go as Epic Sax Guy. Other than that, Euro Vision never fails to be the most awesomely unique music event of the year, use it to your advantage. Who ever thought techno-sax could be so catchy?
How? Thou shalt wear your sunglasses at night. Along with your electric blue, painted-on skinny jeans, white vest yellow tank and bright red driving gloves. Thou shalt carry your saxophone everywhere you go. Bonus points if you can actually play. Thou shalt hip thrust with every funky bass-pounding beat you hear. And thou shalt do so repetitively and with flair. Thou shalt find a partner to go as Futuristic Singing Woman In Silver Dress. Thou shalt carry the flag of Moldova in your pocket, and brandish it proudly.
Why? When “Gucci Gucci” became a thing, there was a lot of confusion. Questions like, “What is a Kreayshawn?” and “Am I allowed to like this song?” flooded the Internet. None of these questions have been answered. And here’s the thing: “Gucci Gucci” still makes you feel weird. You like it, but you don’t. Whatever. Kreayshawn has silly, ostentatious outfits; read: perfect for Halloween costuming.
How? Your mantra will be “more is more.” Start with pink mouse ears and the giantest, tackiest hoop earrings you can get your hands on. Layer a thick black line of eye pencil across your lips, making sure that the Vargas-style flick at the edge is huge. Take a pair of scissors to a vintage printed t-shirt and add long chains of beaded costume and found-item jewellery. Wear baggy jeans, preferably acid wash and definitely low slung with your undies showing. Coerce your best friend into being your side kick. Make her wear thick rimmed hipster / geek glasses, a denim vest and purple lipstick. She’s not allowed to do anything except dance silently by your side all night and smoke cigarettes.
Why? The Lonely Island are masters of the musical meme. Forget for a second that you desperately want to marry/be Andy Samberg and the trio still holds up as a feat of comic genius. Add Nicki Minaj and you’ve got “The Creep.” An easy costume for the lazy, unprepared but well-versed in Internet relevance, be a creep at Halloween to maximize your sex appeal (because 2011 is the year of comedy equaling sexy).
How? All you need is a suit. The older and more retro the better. Points if it’s a little bit musty and moth eaten. Pair this with a horribly patterned 70’s shirt with super point collar, skinny tie and argyle socks. Draw or grow a thin, dirty porn mustache on your upper lip. If you can go as a threesome do it, this way you’ll get maximum impact when you’re busting you’re grossest, creepiest, most lecherous dance moves on the floor.