The Newly Ubiquitous Steven Tyler Performs The National Anthem, Flirts Ever-So-Tamely With A Few Idol Hopefuls

by (@unclegrambo)

Seemingly everywhere you turn your head these days, Steven Tyler is standing there. Leno on Friday night? Check. American Idol on Fox? Check. On the victory podium with AFC champions the New England Patriots? Check. Wait, what???

Yes, that’s right, the Aerosmith lead singer is buddy buddy with billionaire businessman and owner of the NFL’s New England Patriots franchise, Robert Kraft. He brought some good luck to his hometown team by singing the National Anthem at yesterday’s AFC Championship game, a performance that his Idol co-hort Randy Jackson would describe as “pitchy.” Depending on how many cups of CLAM CHOWDA you ingested yesterday afternoon, you’ll either love it or hate it.

Oh, and after the seventeen hours of football that was on yesterday (only a slight exaggeration), there was a new episode of American Idol on, too. We don’t know what’s going on with the water in San Diego, but Tyler didn’t score very high on our new Dude Is Acting Shady Meter (which now come complete with an ACTUAL meter, designed by our own Lauren Deiman). He didn’t so much as bat an eyelash with Jim Carrey‘s 24 year-old daughter, Jane, but he did turn on the charm a smidge for two of yesterday’s female contestants.

WHO: Jennifer Diley
SET-UP: This 19-year-old sushi bar waitress from Columbus, OH showed up for tryouts hoping that she’d be this year’s Bikini Girl (shout out to Katrina Darrell!), but unfortunately for her, her voice was way thinner than her cakes. You’d think that an outfit like this would get Tyler salivating, but you’d be wrong*.
TYLER’S COMMENTS: “Don’t you know it’s illegal to look that cute?”

WHO: Aubree Dieckmeyer
SET-UP: This aspiring America’s Next Top Model American Idol has the looks and the voice, but being on an aircraft carrier has clearly rendered Tyler sexually inert.
TYLER’S COMMENTS: “I haven’t heard anybody sing with that kind of flavor in their voice.”
DUDE IS ACTING SHADY METER SCORE: 1/5 – Innocently Innocuous

*Note to Steven Tyler: When Ryan Seacrest is acting like more of a cad than you, that’s the very definition of an off-day. Check out Seacrest getting his Ogle on!

Steven Tyler Sings/Screeches/Murders The National Anthem [SportsGrid]

[Photo Illustrations by Lauren Deiman]

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