Rihanna And Chris Brown Shock The World By Duetting On Not One But TWO Songs

by (@unclegrambo)

First, the news that Rihanna and Chris Brown might be collaborating together on a single started off as a blind item that promised to “shock the world.” Then, on Friday, Miss Info confirmed the news that the former lovers duetted on a remix of Rihanna’s Talk That Talk track “Birthday Cake.” The response to the news was even more mixed than you might expect: In a poll that we posted here on VH1 Tuner, 55% of the votes cast were in support of the duo working together in spite of what happened between the two back in 2009.

Well, the “Birthday Cake (Remix)” leaked last night (you can listen to it here) and it’s exactly as dirty as anyone who heard the original, 78-second version that appears on Talk That Talk would expect: There are lots illicit references to pleasures both carnal and confectionary, some metaphorical (licking icing off, blowing candles out) and some quite literal (“I wanna f*** you right now”). The album version became a fan fave due in no small part to its brevity; it’s the sexual equivalent of a tease. This single version, though, feels bloated and more than a little bit gross; it’s the sexual equivalent of watching a porno being filmed. In other words, all the mystery is gone.

In addition to the disappointing “Birthday Cake (Remix)” that leaked last night, the internets were shocked to discover that these two had also collaborated on ANOTHER song: a remix of Chris Brown’s newest single, “Turn Up The Music” (you can listen to it here). The song seems poised to do well on the charts, but its generic EDM beat and (we’re guessing literally) phoned-in RiRi verse sort of makes us want to turn the volume down on “Turn Up The Music.”