An American Travelogue, As Inspired By Nicki Minaj’s New Song “Beez In The Trap”

by (@unclegrambo)

Nicki Minaj Beez In The Trap

Nicki Minaj‘s highly anticipated sophomore LP, Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded, dropped last week and is on track to sell 200,000+ copies in its first week on the shelves. Critics are giving Nicki a hard time for the scattershot approach to the album (meaning, the mix of radio-friendly pop songs and hardcore street songs), and we all know J. Lo isn’t exactly a fan, either.

That said, we’ve had the record on repeat virtually all weekend long; we have been pretty obsessed with the “street” songs on the record like “Come On A Cone”, “I Am Your Leader”, “Roman Reloaded” and “Champion”, all of which feature typically tight rhymes from Minaj and top notch production values. Another standout track is “Beez In The Trap”, her collaboration with red hot rising rap star 2 Chainz (see also: His standout verse on Kanye West’s “Mercy”), a song for which she dropped a brand new video on Friday night. We can’t show you the video yet, as it’s currently getting reviewed by our Standards & Practices department. We can, however, talk about the song!

First things first, if you’re wondering what “Beez In The Trap” means, you’re not alone. “Trap” is street slang for a drug house (see also: T.I.‘s Trap Muzik LP), but Nicki isn’t being literal with the reference. In the song’s first verse, there’s a line that goes “I spit crack, like I’m in that trap”; basically, what she’s saying is that her rhymes are highly addictive, and people are lining up to get more of them. In other words, the way she’s flowing is the equivalent to being the kingpin at a trap/drug house; she’s got the BEST stuff, and people just can’t get enough of it.

There’s also the matter of the song’s third verse, where Nicki shouts out more cities than even James Brown in “Living In America” or Huey Lewis did in “The Heart Of Rock N’ Roll.” This got us thinking — What if Nicki took a trip to each of these cities that she references, in the order that they’re mentioned. What we landed at was an EPIC road trip, one that would make Clark W. Griswold green with envy. Won’t you follow along to see what we mean?


The verse in question goes as follows (lyrics courtesy of RapGenius.com):

Man I’m out in Texas, man, I’m out in A-town
Then I’m up in Chi-town or Miami shuttin’ it down
It’s that New Orleans, It’s LA or The Bay
It’s New York, Philly and the whole DMV
I’m a Detroit Player, man it’s North South Cacks
Ohio Pittsburgh, that St. Louis on deck
It’s Delaware, Connecticut, It’s New Jersey got hella bricks
It’s Queens, Brooklyn and yea they’re wildin’
Bronx, Harlem, and Staten Island

So, we ran the numbers (and printed the Google Maps!). If Nicki were to go on this particular “Beez In The Trap” road trip (“Beez In The Trip”?), she would have to cover some 13,263 miles. If her tour bus averaged 60 miles an hour, that means it would take her some 221 hours to make this entire trip (or nine days and change without any rest stops). If you want to prove that you are one of the most hardcore Barbz out there, here are the directions and maps you’ll need!

NICKI MINAJ’S BEEZ IN THE TRAP TRIP! Travel Itinerary

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DESTINATION 1: “Man I’m out in Texas, man, I’m out in A-town” (aka Atlanta)
Total Distance: 1,002 miles (Directions)

DESTINATION 2: “I’m out in A-town / Then I’m up in Chi-town” (aka Atlanta to Chicago)
Total Distance: 718 miles (Directions)

DESTINATION 3: “Then I’m up in Chi-town or Miami shuttin’ it down” (aka Chicago to Miami)
Total Distance: 1,378 miles (Directions)

DESTINATION 4: Miami to New Orleans
Total Distance: 864 miles (Directions)

DESTINATION 5: New Orleans to LA
Total Distance: 1,895 miles (Directions)

DESTINATION 6: LA to the Bay (Oakland)
Total Distance: 370 miles (Directions)

DESTINATION 7: The Bay to New York
Total Distance: 2,901 miles (Directions)

DESTINATION 8:New York to Philly
Total Distance: 97 miles (Directions)

DESTINATION 9: Philly to Detroit
Total Distance: 584 miles (Directions)

DESTINATION 10: Detroit to Rock Hill, SC (border of North and South Cacks, aka Carolina)
Total Distance: 653 miles (Directions)

DESTINATION 11: Rock Hill, SC to Ohio
Total Distance: 488 miles (Directions)

DESTINATION 12: Ohio to Pittsburgh
Total Distance: 176 miles (Directions)

DESTINATION 13: Pittsburgh to St. Louis
Total Distance: 602 miles (Directions)

DESTINATION 14: St. Louis to Delaware
Total Distance: 914 miles (Directions)

DESTINATION 15: Delaware to Connecticut
Total Distance: 279 miles (Directions)

DESTINATION 16: Connecticut to New Jersey
Total Distance: 177 miles (Directions)

DESTINATION 17: New Jersey to Queens
Total Distance: 93.9 miles (Directions)

DESTINATION 18: Queens to Brooklyn
Total Distance: 11.9 miles (Directions)

DESTINATION 19: Brooklyn to Bronx
Total Distance: 22.5 miles (Directions)

DESTINATION 20: Bronx to Harlem
Total Distance: 6.3 miles (Directions)

DESTINATION 21: Harlem to Staten Island
30.7 miles (Directions)

HAPPY TRAVELS!