Katy Perry’s 5 Most Death-Defying Outfits

by (@zaragolden)

Looks like Katy Perry‘s taste in bra-tops hews not just sickly sweet but, perhaps, life endangering, too! According to The Sun, insurers have voiced concern regarding Katy’s bold sartorial choices. Namely, they are worried about a certain peppermint number (see above) and all its moving parts, because it’s wheels apparently catch her hair and put her at risk for “high level of strain on her neck.” We wouldn’t want that for Katy either, but as far as we are concerned, those few moving parts pale in comparison to some of her more unusual garments past. Nary a household object is safe when Katy Perry is getting dressed, and that we don’t ever want to change. We do, however hope, that she’s keeping safe.

And so we present, Katy Perry’s 5 most death-defying outfits:
5. KATY’S KISSES BRA:

Last summer Katy graced the cover of Rolling Stone decked in this lovely Hershey’s Kisses bra. The metallic brings out the glint in her eyes, and those tassels sure do accentuate her, um, assets. With this, we are not worried about Katy so much as we worry that her Kisses’s sharp points might pose risk to others. Katy is preternaturally friendly and — as those of you that have seen Part of Me will know — she loves meeting fans and giving hugs. With pointy tips like this, though? Ouch!


4. THE SUSHI DRESS:

We applaude Katy’s attempt at wearing something exotic, but an you say food poisoning? Raw fish should not be kept out that long. If she is going to be raiding her kitchen for costume detailing each morning, she’s is probably best off if she sticks to non-perishables like the corn-syrup and preservative based foods she is most often wont to wear.

 

3. WHIPPED CREAM CANNON BRA:

Katy Perry strapped this whipped cream cannon bra on for the “California Gurls” video, thusly combining her taste for sweets and curio-covered outfits! This particular bra is a great way to ensure that no sundae goes without whipped cream, sure, but we worry about what might happen if the thing missfired. That face is too pretty to be hidden under ice cream toppings.

 

2. FIREWORKS:

Again with the propulsive outfits! Fireworks just spew from Katy’s chest region in the “Fireworks” video making that whipped cream cannon bra look almost tame. And although it makes for an inspiring image, having pyrotechnics strapped to your chest like that can’t be safe for her or anyone near.

 

1. NOTHING AT ALL:

Katy was completely unclad on the cover of Teenage Dream. We can just hear her grandmother telling her to, “Cover up! You wouldn’t want to catch cold, now would you?”