Cuffing Season Prep Continues: Increase Your Sexual Aptitude By Courting A Freak

by (@Lacezilla)

As we’ve been noting all week, it’s Coitus Cuffin’ Season, and there’s an elephant in the room that needs to be addressed. As you woo your Cuff targets over the next few months, it’s important to stay confident and keep your eye on the prize. Flowers and romantic candlelit dinners are cute and all, but if you’re looking to successfully procure a lasting relationship partner who’s not shy in the bedroom, you’ve got to make sure that you’re ready to, borrowing wisdom from Cuban Link, make it hotter than lava when you climb up in the cama.

Don’t worry, you got this! And if you’re a smidge apprehensive, I got you. Monday we made some suggestions for dealing with Hopeless Romantics, and yesterday we brought up the topic of reeling-in the Distracted Workaholics. Today’s lesson though, is a bit more intimate. And naughty. And for you conventional types, potentially offensive. Below you’ll find Doin’ It Well: Bagging A No-Holds-Barred Freak, a Spotify playlist molded to rev your sexual engines in preparation for what happens “Between The Sheets.”

Just think of this like carnal bootcamp, just with lectures taught by your favorite artists. According to R. Kelly, there ain’t nothin’ wrong with a little bump n’ grind, and we could all learn a thing or two from Wale’s spoken-word verses on Rozay’s “Diced Pineapples.” If you listen to Ms. Jackson (if you’re nasty), she’ll ease you into making your lover’s body scream out “yes!” The ladies of En Vogue know a thing or two about stoking the flames of desire, and Maxwell champions making love until the cops come knocking, so his tutelage is clutch for those trying to increase their stamina. Oh, and Missy’s “Pussycat”? It needs no introduction, and under these cirucmstances, is required listening. Trust.

Happy hump day, and continued good luck in your Cuffing conquests!

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