PSA: 50 Cent’s Four Easy Steps To Stop Masturbating

by (@zaragolden)

Rapper turned businessman 50 Cent played his best public servant last night when he warned his Twitter followers that, “Masturbation is a sin you stop right now fool!!! lol God is watching you.” Then, 50 being the man of many schemes that he is, came his easy-peasy way to quit said urges. Four steps, that’s all it takes to be free!

Step 1: Unplug the ‘Net:

Step 2: Eyes to yourself, Mister!

Step 3: No, not even “just for one drink”

Step 4: But what if I just want to read the stories?

 

And there you have it: four easy steps to a masturbation-free life! A  quick perusal of his timeline offers few clues as to what might have inspired this PSA, and though he did tweet earlier in the day about needing to “practicing abstinence” because, he writes, “women = confusion I don’t need right now.” That doesn’t really explain his stance against self-loving, though, and we can’t imagine how this will help him sell energy drinks or records, so we’ll just have assume he’s trying to do good. So, uh, thanks, Curt!

The 50 Cent Four-Step Stop-Masturbating Plan [Gawker]