November 15th, 2012 | 4:40 pm

Why Is Everyone Giving Christina Aguilera’s Lotus Such A Hard Time?

by Lindsey Weber (@lindseyweber)

You heard me correctly. Despite the haters (and, boy, do they come out in droves for any Christina Aguilera-related event), I am rather enjoying Christina’s newest effort. Lotus follows Christina’s first flop, Bionic, which so confusing followed the two-disc Back To Basics — which single handedly allowed her to hit the top of the chart with the likes of “Dirty” and let her vocals shine with songs like “Save Me From Myself”. The aforementioned flop, Bionic, seemed to come out of nowhere and while die-hard Xtina fans stayed by her side, the rest of us were baffled by Bionic‘s lack. “If you don’t like it, f*** you,” she sang on “Not Myself Tonight”, a boast perhaps unvalidated by the rest of the album.

But past is past, and after Christina joined the ranks of Cee-Lo, Adam Levine and Blake Shelton (three good influences!) on NBC’s The Voice, it felt like everyone thought that boost of celebrity would force her newest album Lotus to be as good as we all hoped it would be when it hit stores (and streams) this week.

Busy? Which tracks should you really listen to? Here:

I wish she hadn’t called this one an “intro” — it’s definitely good enough to stand on its own two legs without being labeled as such. The album’s intro is an airy romp, stating “And now the lotus rises, and we are never dying” over a relaxingly tribal beat. “Heartbeat increases,” Xtina sings. Does this remind anyone of Dawn Richard’s Armor On‘s intro “(Call To Hearts)”?
The album’s stand out comes literally out of nowhere, yodeling its way into my brain for all eternity. Reminiscent of Solange’s newest, the back beat’s got a funky guitar lick and upbeat drum hook and happens to also sample Toots And The Maytals.
You’ll be hearing this one on the radios ASAP, its dancehall beat perfectly replicates the David Guetta hits currently at the top of the charts, and Christina’s own version racks up a whopping eight (8) songwriters to craft this earworm — including “Teenage Dream’s” Bonnie McKee.
Xtina can belt a ballad like none other–that’s a given. And “Sing For Me” is a great platform, mid-way key change and all, to showcase her pipes. (Just in case you happened to forget about those famous runs.)
You gotta hand it to Christina–”Spin around in circles on my middle, middle finger” is a phrase that only a few can pull off? Meanwhile distorted out like a grungy riot-grrl? This one’s just plain fun. Stick out ’til the very end for a surprise (only on the Deluxe version, friends!)

Okay, okay. I had to choose just one of the two duets on the album. Both are with fellow The Voice judges (Xtina already collaborated with Maroon 5′s Adam Levine on “Moves Like Jagger”) and both are…very different? Cee-Lo and Xtina “Make The World Move” on track 4, but I’m partial to the way country star Blake Shelton and Christina’s voices gracefully blend on “Just A Fool” — it’s a battle of the Aguilera duets! Everyone’s pitching in

See? That wasn’t so painful. Let’s all agree that we can be happy for Christina (despite her all-too-often Diva moments) for Lotus and it’s many worthwhile moments. “I see you super hatin’ when I see you roll up,” Christina sings on the aforementioned “Circles”, “And I suggest you grow the f*** up.” Good advice.

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