Happy Thanksgiving! While you’re savoring the day with friends and family and a big ole’ feast, we’re celebrating with a crew of our favorite artists at the table this year. Here’s what everyone’s bringing:
While that’s getting prepped, Snoop will set up the beverage station — “Gin and Juice,” anyone?
Rick Ross, the real star of this meal, will handle the hors devours: “More better, more cheddar” (“Here I Am”); “Air train and peanuts, it’s time to slide” (Yung Joc‘s “Brand New”); “Order crab legs with the heavy butter” (“New Bugatti”); some lobster bisque (“I Love My Bitches”); and let’s get an order of those lemon-pepper Wingstop chicken wings, because why not.
Probably not Ross’ specialty, Young Jeezy‘s got the crudités covered: “the Pocket full of celery, imagine what she tellin’ me / Blowin’ on asparagus, the realest shit I ever smoked.”
There will be plenty of sides to go around: The Beatles’ are bringing “Mean Mr. Mustard” braised brussel sprouts; Sia‘s whipping up some “Sweet Potatoes” baked in The Rolling Stones’ “Brown Sugar;” James Brown will bring “Grits;” and Goodie Mob will bring the “Soul Food”: “A heaping helping of fried chicken / Macaroni and cheese and collard greens,” because — whoops! — “Too big for my jeans!”
If you’re going Italian or carbo-loading for a Back Friday shopping marathon, Fab‘s got you: “Lay the beef on his noodle, make some Luger lasagna/ Forty Cal fettuccine, trey pound pasta” (Lil Wayne‘s “You Ain’t Got Nuthin'”).
For desert, there will be Aerosmith‘s “Adam’s Apple” pie topped with Dorrough‘s “Ice Cream Paint Job” and an”American Pie” taste-off between Don McLean and Madonna. And after it all, a cup of Ella Fitzgerald‘s”Tea For Two” with a dollop of U2‘s “Wild Honey” will settle full stomachs.
And when it’s time for leftover turkey sandwiches, Smashing Pumpkin have you covered with the “Mayonaise.”
Got all your ingredients and you’re ready to begin? Good.
Now put this on: