2013 VMAs: Which Was More Turnt Up, Miley’s “We Can’t Stop” or “Rebel Yell”?

by (@unclegrambo)

Miley Cyrus Turnt Up

The first sign that Miley Cyrus had transformed from Hannah Montana into a turnt up twerker came at the 2012 VH1 DIVAS show last December, when she performed a pyrotastic version of “Rebel Yell.”

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Miley’s Disney Channel base was forced to grow up rather quickly as she strode out on stage wearing studded leather from head-to-toe, paying tribute to both Billy Idol and BDSM culture. Her performance was full of defiant crotch grabbing and enthusiastic head banging, which outraged parents and probably resulted in Miley’s chiropractor getting PAID.

If you thought Miley’s “Rebel Yell” was a bit too risqué for your sensibilities, we have bad news for you. Her performance tonight of “We Can’t Stop” and “Blurred Lines” was so raunchy that her pops Billy Ray’s achy breaky heart probably suffered mad palpitations. She came out on stage wearing a gray, one-piece leotard (or was it a bathing suit?) that had a cartoon picture of a mouse on more molly than Lil Wayne, and Miley followed that ratchet rodent’s lead by licking the air with the kind of passion usually reserved for a tasty Sno Cone. Much as she did during “Rebel Yell,” she couldn’t resist the urge to repeatedly paw at her crotch throughout the performance.

Miley more than delivered on her promise to deliver a “crazy” performance, particularly when she joined Robin Thicke for a raunchy performance of “Blurred Lines” that made the NSFW version of that video look tame in comparison. Miley stripped down to a teeny tiny gold bikini, twerked her petite ass up against Thicke’s #CROTCH, licked his neck, and attempted to give RT a foam finger handjob. Frankly, it looked like something that you’d see on Skinemax, and something that Paula Patton will likely be seeing in her nightmares for weeks to come.

So…

Related: Twerking: A Complete History (1993-2013)

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