Cataloging How Britney Spears Spent The $6.5 Million Budget For The “Work Bitch” Video

by (@unclegrambo)

“Work Bitch” —or “Work Bi**h!” for the easily offended/excitable—is the first single off of Britney Spears‘ upcoming eighth studio album, which is set to be released in December. As #SoundScanner has noted, it has gotten off to a disappointing start when compared to “Hold It Against Me,” the first single off her last album. Perhaps fearing that the song was a stiff, the powers-that-be reportedly greenlit a $6.5 million budget for the “Work Bitch” video, making it the second most expensive music video of all-time. So now that we’ve seen the final product, just what exactly did they get for that money? Let’s investigate*!

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So, let’s tally up the bill…
LARGE WHITE SQUARE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT: $45,000
+ VANITY MIRROR: $10,000
+ FANTASY BY BRITNEY SPEARS PERFUME: $30.99
+ UPSIDE DOWN TRIANGLE SCULPTURE THINGIE: $150,000
+ 100 YARDS OF WHITE FABRIC: $3,500
+ SEXY RHINESTONE CHAINS: $50,000
+ LAMBORGHINI RENTAL: $10,500
+ 19 VOLUPTOUS DESIREE MANNEQUINS: $8,497.68
+ SOME FIREWORKS: $1,440
+ BEATS BY DRE PILL: $199.95
+ CUSTOM BONDAGE MOUTH GEAR FOR BEATS BY DRE PILL: $1,000
+ OUTDOOR POOL: $4,899.99
+ A REALLY LONG WHIP: $5,000
+ (3) HAMMERHEAD SHARKS & TRANSPORTATION: $303,000
+ CUSTOM NEON “BITCH” SIGN: $349.99
+ (2) NIGHTS AT PLANET HOLLYWOOD’S MOST FANCIEST SUITE: $200,000
+ MINIBAR/ROOM SERVICE TAB: $50,000
+ (1) NIGHT WITH A SEXY SEX SLAVE: $25,000
+ VARIOUS WARDROBE COSTS: $100,000
ESTIMATED TOTAL: $968,418.60

Hmmmm. That’s significantly less than $6.5 million! Sure, there are lots of labor costs—director Ben Mor doesn’t come cheap, yo!—that we didn’t factor into this, but $5.5 million worth? The accountants at the label are definitely gonna have to work (bitch!) to match up the debits and credits on this video, for sure.

*NOTE: This is not a REAL investigation. We’re just spitballing and having some laffs here, folks. OBVS.