Rihanna is to everything as Joey Tribiani is to grandma’s chicken salad — she somehow manages to make anything and everything sexy as hell, and her Instagram presents a treasure trove of evidence to support this thesis. From seductively draping herself over her grandfather to making sexual gestures with phallic objects at the Aquarium in Cape Town; from kissing elephant trunks in Africa and offending by being too sexy at a mosque in Abu Dhabi, Riri is the queen of excessive, untameable sexuality.
Even if she tried, Rihanna doesn’t possess an un-sexy bone in her body. You could hand her a plate of croutons and a baby with a crap-filled diaper and somehow she’d make the whole arrangement look like a soft-core porn centerfold. I don’t know what it is exactly that makes Rihanna reek of sex the way she does — it’s not like she’s the only woman on earth with sultry eyes, a killer body and devil-may-care attitude. Rihanna’s rampant sexuality is innate, enchanting and unnerving all at once, but we really wouldn’t have it any other way.