An Official Guide To One Direction’s Midnight Memories For Non-Teenagers

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One Direction's Zayn Malik. [Photo: Getty Images]

One Direction’s Zayn Malik. [Photo: Getty Images]

TRACK 4: “Midnight Memories”
SOUNDS LIKE: A Darkness cover band tackling “Pour Some Sugar On Me”

This might be the first time we’ve heard One Direction attempt to swear in a song! Sadly though, the end product is censored as “shah,” which no doubt is a relief to parents everywhere. The album’s title track tries hard to hang tough with crunching guitars and soaring vocals, even using excited panting as instrumentation. It’s as if they wrote a song for the sole purpose of taking advantage of their upcoming stadium tour, as it borrows heavily from the ’80s hair rock gods. This one doesn’t knock it out of the park the same way some of the other tracks do but you have to give the boys a high five for making the effort. Now we’re just waiting for Zayn to shave his beard into a Freddie Mercury mustache or for Niall to rock some extensions and head bang the night away.

TRACK 5: “You And I”
SOUNDS LIKE: Bryan Adams‘ “Heaven” without the edge

A proper ballad, “You And I” is what one might expect from One Direction in the down-tempo category. That doesn’t mean they can just get away with it. This actually could have been a little more interesting if it had been a cover of the similarly titled Lady Gaga track, letting the boys belt it out. It reminds one a bit of an old Backstreet Boys ballad from their heyday, but melodically pulls from Bryan Adams, the ’80s influence going pop instead of rock this time.

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