Things Beyonce Does In The Kitchen (Besides Cooking)

by (@sllambe)

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Throughout Beyonce‘s solo career, she’s made a number of references to her time in the kitchen. However, what’s become evidently clear is that there’s not much cooking going on in there. On her latest single, “Drunk in Love,” Beyonce asks “We woke up in the kitchen saying, ‘How the hell did this shit happen?’ Well first off, you were drunk Beyonce. But secondly you weren’t in the kitchen for  food. In a review of Beyonce, Jody Rosen wisely pointed out that this line was an answer to 4‘s “Countdown” when Beyonce was “All up in the kitchen in my heels / dinnertime.” This is not the first or last time that sex or something else has gone on in the kitchen. We dissect some of Bey’s saucer lyrics to determine just exactly what she does in there.

Drip Waffle Cones on the Floor*

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I’ma be like a waffle cone that’s dripping down to the floor (“Suga Mama”)

*This is just unsanitary and dangerous. Especially with all those heels she’s strutting in.

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Make You Chase It

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I can tell you wanna taste it, but I’m gone make you chase it (“Check on it”)

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Drink Beer*

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Drink beer with the guys (“If I Were a Boy”)

*We’ve all been there.

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Eat Gyros* with Andre 3000

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Man, we were just in the food court, eating our gyros (“Party”)

*Technically she’s eating them in a cafeteria but we’re just happy she’s eating.

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Strut Around in Heels

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All up in the kitchen in my heels, dinner time (“Countdown”)

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Get Drunk*

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We woke up in the kitchen saying, ”How the hell did this shit happen?” (“Drunk in Love”)

*It’s clear she likes to drink in the kitchen.

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Have Sex

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We sex again in the morning, your breastases is my breakfast (“Drunk in Love”)

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Drink Watermelon

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I’ve been drinking watermelon (“Drunk in Love”)

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Cook* Naked

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I’m in my penthouse half naked / I cooked this meal for you naked (“Jealous”)

*First evidence of actual cooking in five albums, even if while naked. Maybe her and Jay Z do get fed sometimes.

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