Beyoncé has hours of his life on tape.Last year we learned that Bey has employed a “visual director” to document her life since 2005. Jay has been with her since ’02, so who knows what kind of compromising media she’d unleash if scorned.
Her social media influence.Between Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, and Instagram, Bey’s constant stream of curated updates far surpasses Hov’s Internet reach. Destiny’s Child may have said they’d never “diss you on the Internet,” but cheating would probably call for a reassessment of those lyrics.
He’d never be able to go surfing again and enjoy it.Other venues/activities he’d ruin for himself: the kitchen, the foyer, breakfast.
Who else would put sunblock on his back?After 12 years, Bey knows all the spots that need extra attention.
Who else can buy him an entire plane?Gift-giving is yet another practice Beyoncé excels at.
She’s the mother of his child.We all saw Jay’s reaction to Beyoncé’s adorable pregnancy announcement at the 2011 MTV Video Music Awards. Recording and releasing a song dedicated to their newborn (“Glory”), days after her birth just reiterates how excited he is to be a dad.
The BIC.How could he break Blue’s little heart?
He’d be a hypocrite.On Watch The Throne‘s “New Day,” Jay and Kanye preach wisdom to their future children. Among Jay’s advice: “When you speak it, give your word, keep it.” A word is the same as a vow, right?
Her butt.They don’t make them all like that. Trust us.
They’re real, and they’re even more terrifying than Saturday Night Live made them out to be.
She’s the queen.Utterly ***flawless until the end of time. While she obviously wouldn’t have any trouble finding a suitor if they split, would you want to be the woman who dates Jay after Beyoncé? NOPE. Watch as the singer discusses what music means to her in a vintage clip from the red carpet of the Pink Panther premiere. Even back then — still flawless.
[Photo Credit: iam.beyonce.com]