Jonesing for music on your television set? Don?t know what to watch? Love to see your favorite musicians tied up in absurd plots? Well, then, you?ve come to the right place, rockers! Check out our shortlist below. For more extensive listings, read VH1?s Rock on TV schedule daily.
A Prairie Home Companion, Monday, 9:30 AM (EST), HBOZ: We know, we know. You haven’t gotten quite enough of Lindsay Lohan lately, what with her recent trip to rehab. A thoroughly peroxided Lohan plays the suicide-obsessed daughter of Meryl Streep in the cinematic dramatization of the beloved NPR radio show.
The Gilmore Girls, “Girls In Bikinis, Boys Doin’ the Twist” Monday, 5PM (EST), FAM: Looked to as the death knell of indie culture, this was the moment the Shins came out of their (possibly scoliosis afflicted) shell and rocked this WB original series’ spring break episode. The performance by beloved, bespectacled indie outfit was more revolutionary than the Flaming Lips playing the Peach Pit on 90210. See also: Garden State.
The latest installment of the Amy Winehouse saga has taken a left off of disturbing onto the expressway to tragic. On Thursday night the rehab-averse Winehouse was spotted ducking into a newsagent to pick up smokes, bloodied and her signature eye make-up smeared. Photos of her sliced up husband (commonly thought of as the British Kevin Federline) and Winehouse were quickly put up on PerezHilton.com, but here’s where the story takes a turn for the battered wife syndrome. After texting Amy to convey his concern, Perez receives several texts back, explaining what happened: “I was cutting myself after he found me in our room about to do drugs with a call girl and rightly said I wasn?t good enough for him. I lost it and he saved my life.” As time goes on Winehouse gets more and more agitated that Perez hasn’t posted her version of events, stating her husband “deserves the truth, he is an amazing man who saved my life again and got cut badly for his troubles. All he get is horrible stories printed about him and he just keeps quiet, but this i too much.” So let’s get this straight — he’s cool with getting sliced with razor blades and finding his wife doing drugs in a bathroom, but the final straw is “lies” on the internet?
We already know what you’re asking for for Christmas: tickets to Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story. Starring John C. Reilly, this send-up of Walk the Line looks profoundly hilarious, and has the added bonus of featuring actual rock stars (Eddie Vedder, Jack White, and…uh…Jewel).
Speaking of Jack White cameos, check out the trailer for the much-anticipated Scorcese directed concert film of the Rolling Stones at the Beacon Theatre.
And finally, a trailer for the very avant Bob Dylan meta-biopic I’m Not There (six Dylans for the price of one!), featuring Cate Blanchett, Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Richard Gere, Marcus Carl Franklin and Ben Whishaw. Is it just us, or does Cate seem to come closest to the genuine article?
The Rolling Stones Artist Main
Bob Dylan Artist Main
Johnny Cash Artist Main
The boys hit the road, with the express purpose of geting Tony Potato laid. Which shouldn’t be a problem, given that Whitestarr has “girls galore.” Post-show, Cisco describes Mr. Potato as “a dancer, a lawyer, an overall renaissance man, but he cannot follow through on anything.” A heart-to-heart ensues after a crestfallen Tony leaves the backstage area to take a leak, and Cisco follows him into the bathroom. Apparently Tony’s trouble isn’t the fact that he’s overweight, balding and in a struggling band (what girl wouldn’t want that!?!), but that he has no follow through.
The band embark on a tour, playing 28 shows in 30 days to bring the music to the people. Cisco doesn’t seem to think of what he does as “touring and playing music” so much as pirating: “taking what we need and leaving some scurvy…new town every night, new girl every night.” This proves more difficult for Tony. In one particularly painful scene, Tony has one unsuspecting female in a half nelson, and as she cackles on his lap she says, “I don’t do dancers. I only do rock stars.” Wrong bus, sister.
Almost four months after the horrific Virginia Tech shootings, where 33 students were gunned down on the campus by a disgruntled student, a concert in their honor is slated to take place on September 6th. But just days after the bill was announced, the community-healing efforts hit a snag. In addition to gluten-free granola acts like Dave Matthews and John Mayer (granted he keeps his stand-up to himself), New York rapper Nas is also set to perform. Now a spokesperson for the families of the victims has expressed their collective displeasure with the idea of rapper performing, given the nature of his lyrics, which they feel “are indicative of the moral decay in our society that contributes to acts of violence,” says Vincent Bove. While we applaud Nas for his community-oriented efforts, is a hand-picked set in order? Do you think the victims’ families are being overly sensitive? [Idolator/Image: Getty]
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Take 2: Nas
As if she hadn’t cemented her status as every indie dude’s fantasy, Scarlett Johansson is working on her debut album with members of Yeah Yeah Yeahs and TV On The Radio’s Dave Sitek. This news comes on the heels of her reported Tom Waits cover album and her Coachella performance with the Jesus and Mary Chain. As reported by the Daily Advertiser in Lafayette, Louisiana, the Lost in Translation star spent 33 days recording at Dockside Studio. Owner Steve Nails described the album as, “a theater, big screen. Lots of heavy bass tones in it. Without a bass guitar, we used all kind of different instruments to create these sounds. It was a great experiment. Very avant garde. She sounds like Marilyn Monroe.” Which seems like a no-brainer comparison to us. We’re guessing there won’t be any Justin Timberlake duets.[Pitchforkmedia / Image credit: Getty]
If a group of ultra-religious, fornicatin’ hatin’ Baptists are to be believed, God hates Christina Aguilera. Following a recent spate of cancelled concert appearances due to a reported throat infection, Baptists for Brownback?have explained?that “thanks to the majesty and power of God, the blaring megaphone of [Christina Aguilera]’s sexual terrorism has been muffled.” Turns out that in between getting thanked by our nation’s hip-hop artists, God found the time to listen to Aguilera’s back catalog (sample lyric: “Put your icing in [her] cake” from 2006’s “Naughty, Nasty Boy”) and decided to smite the Monroe doppelganger.
So wait a second. You mean to tell me God hates Christina, but he gives Madonna a free pass?
Now and then our Tour Survival Guide will check in with rockers about life on the road. Here’s guitarist James Black on how puppies and towels keep Finger Eleven touring.
Video Games Can Be Hazardous to Your Tour
Our other guitar player Rick broke his hand playing video games when we were touring on the last record. He got killed in the game, punched the wall of the bus and broke his hand. It f*cked the tour up for him for a couple weeks. We play four against four usually, and it gets aggressive. Once a year goes by [on the road] you start to put personal touches on everything you do in the game because you?re genuinely angry at the person. But that?s eight months from now.
Bath Towels: The Ultimate Rock Star Extravagance
We ask for seven to nine towels. Sometimes you show up and they give you these little square, face towels. It?s gotta be a nice clean towel — I?d love a bath towel. Usually it?s a hair towel sized-thing. Sometimes [I steal towels from the hotel], if it?s nice and soft, it’s like "I gotta take this." There?s a drawer in our bus for those towels.
The first clips from the much-talked about Bob Dylan biopic I’m Not There have leaked, and Cate Blanchett’s Bob impression is downright spooky. The scene imagines the first meeting between Dylan and Allen Ginsberg, played by David Cross. Blanchett’s one of six actors depicting the Voice of a Generation, along with Christian Bale, Heath Ledger and Richard Gere. The film was supposed to hit theaters in September, but rumor has it that it will probably be delayed until next year.