Jonesing for music on your television set? You?ve come to the right place, rockers! Check out our shortlist below. For more extensive listings, read VH1?s Rock on TV schedule daily.
The Italian Job, 5 p.m. (EST), FX: Marky Mark Wahlberg stars in this hyper-extended Mini-Cooper commercial, which, as it turns out, was actually a remake. The movie’s about about Vince Chase . . . er, Marky Mark, sorry, as he seeks revenge against the evil Ed Norton for killing Donald Sutherland. Mos Def shows up, too. The movie’s based on the 1969 Michael Caine vehicle of the same name. It’s really good, so long as you’re trapped on a plane and can’t move for like eight hours. Jet Blue wins again! (Sidebar: There’s a sequel coming. Can’t wait for ’09, kids.)
Three Kings, 7:30 p.m. (EST), FX: It’s Marky Mark night on FX, apparently, because this David O. Russell film follows the Mini-Cooper spot above. The flick stars Ice Cube, George Clooney and Spike Jonze (the Beastie Boys’ video director who you might remember from Being John Malkovich) as soldiers in Iraq, arguing over buried treasure. This is one of the best films of the ’90s, and if you haven’t seen it, we recommend you do. You’ll be happier for it.
Fame is a cruel mistress, but the anticipation of fame can be a real deal-breaker. When Bryan‘s wife Kim came to visit the Man Band house, she found herself surrounded by the 14 beautiful female dancers the men were auditioning for their performance at Miami nightclub Mansion. Despite how fit, toned and tanned everyone appeared, it wasn’t pretty. Kim’s jealousy manifested in a massive load of guilt for Bryan. The fewer clothes on the back-up dancers, the more guilt for our beleaguered Man Bander.
Jonesing for music on your television set?? Well, you?ve come to the right place! Check out our shortlist below. For more extensive listings, read VH1?s Rock on TV schedule daily.
Heavy: The Story of Metal: Welcome to My Nightmare, 8 p.m. (EST), VH1 Classic: We know what you want. We know what you need. We know what you crave . . . because we crave it, too. You know what we’re talking about. That’s right: We’re talking about metal. Heavy metal. Glam metal. Sludge metal. Death metal. British metal. Hair metal. Speed metal. Clown metal. Post-modern metal. Underoo metal. Folk metal. It doesn’t matter to us — any sort of metal will do. Tonight, we continue to help shorten the country’s attention span by reviewing the past 40 years in the heaviest rock around with this series of documentaries. Break out the assless chaps and sheepskin-lined jean-jacket, underachievers. Get ready to rock all. night. long.
The Henry Rollins Show, 11 p.m. (EST), IFC: The buff former Black Flag frontman (and one-time ice-cream vendor!) treats audiences to some political conversation with Ariana Huffington and a musical performance by Sinead O’Connor. One time, a long time ago, Sinead tore up a picture of the pope on national television. It was a very big deal back then. These days she’s exploring a more Rastafarian vibe. If you can dig it, we suggest you hang.
Ah, the ’90s.?What a?decade: U2 dressed up like girls, Tupac‘s stomach tattoo?was legendary, and we were all?feeling so magnanimous that somehow Moby became a star. VH1′s 100 Greatest Songs of the ’90s celebrates the days when Britney Spears wasn’t crazy, just jailbait, and O.D.B. was racking up court dates faster than Ike Turner times Phil Spector to the power of?Lindsay Lohan. Now it’s time to honor the decade that began with C&C Music Factory and ended with the stupidity of Woodstock ’99. We want your participation, too. What songs do you think should?make the list? Vote here, now. The people will have their voice! (The show airs in December, so check back for updates.)
Jonesing for music on your television set?? Well, you?ve come to the right place! Our Rock on TV schedule gives you plenty of choices. Here are today’s highlights.
Zoo TV – Live From Sydney, 8 p.m. (EST), VH1 Classic: U2 played Australia on the last leg of their Zoo TV tour — the one that began with the release of Achtung, Baby, and continued well past the time when people were wondering what, exactly, Zooropa was all about. Despite Bono putting on weight (so much so, he resembles Robin Williams here), and the relatively poor sound quality at the show, the band’s energy is high and Macphisto remains charismatic. When he calls the White House and asks to speak to George Bush, we still get an illicit thrill. Mainly because we tried the same thing this morning, and the operator hung up on us, too.
The Late Show With David Letterman, 11:35 p.m. (EST), CBS: Neo-punk saviors Against Me! play for Dave and Paul and everyone else. If you believe critics, then you’ll already know that the Florida band’s latest, New Wave, is out and that it’s good. We like how they’ve cleverly combined the rock-ier sensibilities of the Offspring with the swagger of the Dropkick Murphys. But mainly we like how they titled one of their earlier albums Reinventing Axl Rose. That’s balls, folks.
Everyone’s favorite Barbadian ambassador is bringing new levels of synergy to pop-music metaphors. Not since OutKast’s shameless promotion of Polaroid has an artist shilled so hard for a product that most people don’t spend much time thinking about. In this case, Rihanna has gone into business with Totes (think Isotoners) to create a line of umbrellas, inspired, of course, by her song “Umbrella.” Ranging in price from $15-$50, Rihanna’s line of rain gear comes with names like Satin Stick and Signature Slender: fun, even if the names are slightly reminscent of air freshener flavors. Kudos to Totes for spotting an opportunity to take advantage of the song of the summer. And accolades go to Rihanna, too, who told Paper magazine in a recent interview that she wanted to be “the black Madonna.” Since Madonna’s talents naturally run to business management, Rihanna’s fledgling mogul-hood shouldn’t come as a surprise.
The more reserved half of OutKast put his money where his mouth is, defending his wife against sticky-fingered denim lovers. Translation? Big Boi‘s wife owns a boutique in Atlanta called P. Valentine, and, according to AllHipHop,?over the weekend a certain party (or parties) stole all of their jeans. So the eminently likable rap star went on a radio station and?offered $50,000 to the person who calls the store and lets him know who perpetrated the crime.?Apparently, he also told the Atlanta Journal Constitution, ?I?ve got to see about this personally. You don?t even have to call the police folk. Just call me . . . ?I?ll get this handled.? Speaking of bounties, is $50,000 a lot or a little these days? Anyone know? Our subscriptions to?Guns & Ammo and Don Diva have lapsed.
Terror Squad rapper Remy Ma has lived up to her violent reputation, turning herself over to police yesterday after being accused of shooting one of her best friends on Friday night. According to the victim, Makeda Barnes-Joseph, the two were out partying in New York City’s Meatpacking District (which, for those of you who’ve been, is this story’s first mistake). Remy asked Makeda to hold her purse, and when Makeda handed it back to her, Remy thought that her wallet felt a bit light. So she allegedly shot Makeda twice, dumped Makeda’s purse out and started going through the contents. "What hurts me is that when she shot me she went over and dumped the bag," Maked told The New York Daily News. "She didn’t even say, ‘Oh my God, I just shot her.’"
The Mean Girl is finally free! After 45 days of rehab (complete with MySpace love letters, a birthday party in bad shoes, and lots of AA meetings) Lindsay Lohan has walked out of Promises Treatment Facility a clean woman. And where did she immediately head to celebrate her sobriety? Las Vegas. But don’t you worry – LiLo may have hit up nightclub Pure to celebrate her assistant’s birthday, but there was only water and Red Bull on hand for the rehabbed starlet. And to convince you doubters out there, Linds is going to be sporting an alcohol monitoring bracelet (which conveniently does not track cocaine snortage) as proof that she’s staying sober when surrounded by booze.
The starlet is beginning her new outpatient treatment with drama already on the horizon. In an online chat with blogger CelebSlam, a p*ssed off LiLo revealed that naked photos of her taken by Calum Best have been stolen off her computer and that she’s got her lawyers on the job. Poor Lindsay – millions of dollars in the bank and yet she can’t seem to find a hacker-proof computer. Still, can’t we just leave the starlet alone for a second so she can get her sh*t straightened out? If she has some space she’s sure to do something uber-insane again. And really, how much more bare, freckled skin do we need to see?
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