Poor little Jessica Simpson. For five years she practically begged for cameras to be on her, but now she’s mad because they’ve crashing her party. Literally. The former Newlywed got all pissy when the paps surrounded her birthday beach celebration yesterday in Malibu. E Online’s Marc Malkin says: "Simpson and five pals arrived this morning for a day at the beach. Lunch and a barbecue dinner were planned, sources tell me. But about two hours into it, as lunch was being served, more than a dozen paparazzi descended on the house."
Jess reportedly called the party off because she didn’t want her pals to endure the constant flashes from the nosy photogs. Funny, she had no problem dragging her friends in front of the cameras for her TV show back in the day. Guess Jessica learned that she can’t have her birthday cake and eat it too. [E Online]
When The Beatles came to America 40 years ago their visit was known as the British Invasion. Tomorrow UK superstars Victoria and David Beckham hit our shores, but judging from the photo on the right, it’ll look more like an alien invasion. Okay, okay, that’s mean. But seriously – what is going on over there? She’s all bones and boobs!
The Spice Girl and her soccer superstar husband officially move to LA this week, even though they’ve been catwalking around Hollywood for months now picking out curtains for their $22 million mansion. Posh says she’s "really, really excited" to live in America, and she’s lined up two talk show interviews, a one hour documentary special on NBC, and a magazine cover as proof. But will celeb-saturated America care? Do you? [Fox News]
While LiLo was busy reading Machiavelli and saying serenity prayers in rehab, someone busted into her alleged MySpace account and released a bunch of her love letters to DJ gal pal Samantha Ronson. Right off the bat this raises a bunch of questions:
- Why do celebrities continue to communicate via MySpace?
- Do they not own various texting/calling/video chatting devices?
- Is there not an army of carrier pigeons at their beck and call waiting to deliver letters?
- Are celebrities idiots?
At least we know the answer to the last question is a resounding YES. Lindsay’s supposed messages to Samantha are mushy and dramatic (and okay, genius): "Babe," she writes, "if I don’t have you in my life then I should just go die. … I want to marry you and have children with you." In another she signs off as "Lindsay Ronson." It definitely has a nice ring to it. Go for it
LiLo LiRo! Just do it after you open a can of good ol’ Lindsay whoop ass on the person who hacked your site. [NY Daily News]
For those of you who thought the age of the "Sensitive Man" was dead, think again. Ryan Seacrest is bringing it back full force. The Americal Idol host went into detail on his radio show Monday morning, describing the blubbering sesh he had while watching Eva Longoria and Tony Parker share their first dance together as husband and wife. And no, he didn’t imagine it, he was actually at the wedding – as a guest. Say what? "I am crying," he stated, reliving his reaction to the couple. "Then Tony dipped Eva right then and there, pulled her back up and gave her a kiss."
Who knew guys actually noticed these things? Ah – but all men are not Ryan Seacrest. He continued to describe watching this scene with fellow (female) guests Teri Hatcher, Felicity Huffman and Jessica Alba: "They are smiling and I am a disaster."
Yes. Yes, you are. I for one am insulted that you’ve made it through six seasons of American Idol without shedding a tear. What kind of gentle, tender, sweet man are you?
Avril Lavigne is getting a lot of heat these days, and it’s still kinda unclear if it’s warranted or not. Today’s latest accusation against the pop punk princess is that she’s ripped off a song by electroclash queen Peaches. You can check it out and take a listen for yourself. Sure they sound similar, but it’s doubtful that Peaches is the first artist to ever rap lyrics over an electronic drumbeat. Anyone with a computer can do that these days. What really should be in question are the lyrics of this Avril song. "I’m the one who’s got the prance" just doesn’t seem to go along with all that hardcore punk plaid and middle finger thrusting. We look forward to seeing what "the one who wears the pants" has to say about this latest finger point in her direction. Any comment, Avs?
50 Cent is just a traditional guy who likes to woo ladies the old-fashioned way – taking them out to dinner surrounded by an entourage. Sound strange? Not to Ciara, who’s recently been seen getting cozy with the hip hop star. The two hit up the Brentwood Restaurant and Lounge in LA and got romantic at a table for two, as ten of 50′s pals and bodyguards protected the pair’s privacy from a second table close by. The group arrived and left in a flurry of pricey cars, including 50′s Lamborghini. Not a bad catch for the 21-year old singer, who worked with 50 (who is 10 years her senior) on her single "Can’t Leave ‘Em Alone." Looks like she was singing about her experience dating 50 – and his always present posse. When you’re worth millions upon millions of dollars, it can’t hurt having a little extra protection around, right? Let’s just hope he locks them out of his bedroom when there’s a lady between his sheets.
Lindsay Loves the Stripper Life
LiLo plays a stripper in her upcoming movie I Know Who Killed Me, and after working out on the pole for 3 hours a day, now claims to really respect the profession. Well, if that acting thing doesn’t work out… [Just Jared]
Beyonce: Hospital Visit with Fans
The caring diva visited two fans who were injured by pyrotechnics at her St. Louis concert Sunday night. When she says she loves her fans, she really means it. [People]
Paris: Caught in a Cloud of Smoke
She told Larry King that she’s never tried drugs, but it looks like that’s finally changed, after a spy spotted the heiress puffing on a joint outside LA hot spot Teddy’s. [NY Post]
Britney Spears is reportedly getting close to her bodyguard/boyfriend, and the two were spotted frolicking with her sons Sean and Jayden in her Malibu compound pool over the weekend. But that’s not even the most exciting Britney news to surface today. Rumors are floating around the web that she may actually be attempting that anticipated comeback with the release of a new single, supposedly titled "Get Back." Some alleged lyrics to the song:
so you?re the one
who want us
to get back
(you say lets get back together)(lets get back forever)
now its u the one
who?s followin me around
like a homeless dog
and you pray
(let?s get back together,let?s get back for better)
lets lets lets
This could all be just one great big rumor, but if not, we sure hope "homeless dog" sounds better in song than it looks on paper. This is like one step up from Brit’s usual attempts at putting her feelings into words. But still – if there’s anyway we can get old Britney back, we’ll take it. Get that girl a snake and some sequins!
Crooner Lionel Richie commented on daughter Nicole’s recent run-in with the law, and his response seems a little unorthodox for a parent, though perhaps not for someone who makes music videos featuring a blind woman who sculpts heads from clay. Lionel said this weekend:
"She’s just in an unfortunate situation. She keeps apologizing to me.I told her, ‘You’re
doing exactly what you’re supposed to be doing to your father at this
Hm. So if driving the wrong way down the freeway high on Vicodin and marijuana is what you do to your dad while in your twenties, what’s next – smoking heroin while operating heavy machinery? And hasn’t Nicole- who admits to once being addicted to smack – probably done that already?
Jessica Simpson is supposedly getting her own sloppy seconds, as she’s rumored to be back with comedian Dane Cook (pictured together in 2006, right). They made some unfunny movie together last year and apparently got romantic on the set, and after a year apart and some John Mayer booty calls, Jess is back in the funny man’s beefy arms. The two recently took in a Prince concert at Teddy’s in LA, and like everyone else in Hollywood, they canoodled!!!
What could these two possibly talk about when they’re together? The SuperFinger and their favorite brands of tuna fish? Sounds as enjoyable as Employee of the Month.