Jonesing for music on your television set? Well, you?ve come to the right place! Check out our shortlist below. For more extensive listings, read VH1?s Rock on TV schedule daily.
Biography: Simon Cowell, 9 a.m. (EST), The Biography Channel: Just because British people can say things like “pish-posh” without being clowny doesn’t mean they’ve got critical opinions sharper than Ginsu knives and standards higher than the CNN Tower. But Simon Cowell isn’t most British people. If you’re the masochistic type of pop-culture junkie, this documentary about the king of the *ssholes ought to be right up your alley. And that it’s on at 9 a.m. is doubly exciting! You can be super irritated before breakfast!
What Perez Says About the VMAs, 9 p.m. (EST), VH1: The Internet’s Gossip Gangster comes to our fair network tonight, bringing his green-haired commentary to the state of music’s latest award-winners. This is the first of a series of specials starring Hilton, in which he’ll attack . . . er, bring his insider knowledge and expertise to bear on a variety of subjects that are all celebrity related. The self-proclaimed Queen of All Media is the snarky sort. What Perez Says . . . will include lots of interviews, which proves that celebs are tougher than people give them credit for. Can’t wait to hear him talk about that Britney Spears performance. Our ears are burning already.
I have a feeling this VMAs hairdo has moved to the top of Paris Hilton‘s ‘Regret List,’ edging out ‘driving drunk’ and ‘all of my sex tapes’ for first place. Somewhere in a nursing home in Ohio, a frail, little grandmother is attempting to dial up Paris. She wants her hair back – and her cheap curlers. Check out more pics of the heiress’ major fashion f*ck up below.
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Sure, Britney may have told USA Today that she thought her performance on the VMAs was “
Boo hoo hoo. Gwen Stefani apparently let the tears flow backstage at her most recent fashion show in NYC this week. A source revealed:
Little Miss Modesty Avril Lavigne is giving Kanye West a run for his money. With bombast that’s usually found in?the hip-hop world, Avril’s telling the world how giving she is. In a recent interview with Q Magazine, she refers to Hurricane Katrina, (which devastated an entire metropolis and left thousands homeless) as “the hurricane thing [that] happened.” To evidence her 
Britney wasn’t the only one bombing this weekend. On Saturday Foxy Brown received a year-long prison sentence for violating her probation a bunch of times. The rapper – who is allegedly three months pregnant – apparently burst after hearing her latest sentence. “I’m willing to do whatever I need to do to change,” she pleaded with the judge. “I realize that’s not where I want to be. It’s humbled me in ways I never imagined.”
Somewhere between Brit doing those thorazine twirls and her old beau Justin Timberlake moonwalking to close the show, it dawned on Kanye West that he wasn’t part of the VMAs main-stage action. Yep, it’s cool up in the Hugh Hefner Sky Villa, but it ain’t the main stage, y’all. Only one thing to do. Let it be known that 
