Not a day goes by that our favorite mess of starlet doesn’t do at least a few monumentally stupid things that seem out of the realm of regular human behavior. So we’ve fancied ourselves a little quiz to see if ya’ll can pick out today’s real Britney Spears news from the fake. Give it go and check your answers under the jump!
1. According to a statement, Britney’s lawyers fired her as a client yesterday because of:
a) “a mental breakdown.”
b) “a breakdown of communication.”
c) “her constant breakdancing.”
d) “her dog London, who Ms. Spears permitted to urinate on her counsel’s leather chairs.”
2. Britney Spears skipped what very important event yesterday?
a) Her sister Jamie-Lynn’s first mammogram.
b) Sean Preston’s tanning appointment.
c) The opening of a new Starbucks on Robertson Boulevard.
d) Her deposition in her custody battle with K-Fed.
3. Britney and her new photographer “boyfriend” Adnan Ghalib spent 5 hours, from 2am – 7am, at the Parker Hotel in Palm Springs together allegedly doing what:
a) Drugs. Ambiguous, plentiful drugs.
b) Discussing the future Britney Spears photo-book he is creating.
c) Ordering and eating fifteen continental breakfasts off the room service menu.
d) All of the above.
Check out the answers under the jump!
Lindsay Lohan Needs Your Money
LiLo is unemployed and desperate for cash – care to spare a nickel…or some botox? [NYDN]
Ne-Yo Sues Former Pal R. Kelly
The rising star is suing the creepy crooner after getting booted from his tour, and claims he was kicked off because the fans were liking him better. [NYDN]
Amy Winehouse: Renewing Vows in Slammer
Wino’s also apparently penning a new song for her jailed hubby, too. Crackheads are so romantic, eh? [NME]
Janet?s Sexy Songs Make Babies
Miss Jackson loves it when people tell her about all the babies they conceive to her tunes – except when it’s her bro Michael talking. [People]
No Ring for Kim Kardashian
Kim K. is NOT engaged to Reggie Bush, ya’ll – they’re just making sex tapes. But they’re totes in love. [EOnline]
We asked you to name the hottest human being of 2007 and we have sampled more than half of your 800 responses. Our tally shows Jes narrowly edging out New York to become the year’s hottest, finest, cutest, sexiest person. Rock of Love winner Jes and our H.B.I.C. reality diva New York had approximately 150 votes each. But New York attracted dozens of harshly negative comments, and so we’ve crowned Jes our first-ever Hottie of the Year! Here is the list of candidates (in order of hotness, according to you) with some of your positive and negative comments.
“Jes all the way! She is so hot I?d consider switching teams!”
“She’s ugly and has rat nest hair.”
2. New York
“New York … the other girls are boring.”
“Are you kiding me New York is hot dang she is smokin hot and that’s real.”
“Looks like somebody hit her in the face with a shovel and just wouldn?t quit.”
“New York looks like a sick horse.”
“New York looks like a horse. Better yet, a horse crossed with a dog.”
“I would have picked NY if we were voting on best transvestite of the year but we?re not so I pick Kim!”
3. Kim Kardashian
“Kim is sexy as hell. No one above could compete with her … just look her body.”
“Armenians are the most beautiful people she’s freakin fine.”
“Kim sounds like she’s on helium.”
4. Chris Brown
“Boy u so sexy if u were a pie i would eat you.”
None, at least that we can find.
5. Vanessa Hudgens
“I think Vanessa is the hottest. She is so adorable and I think she has a head on her shoulders – although it is said that there are naked pic of her. Who doesn’t make mistakes?”
“Vanessa is so ugly and it looks like Fidel Castro is hiding down there.”
Rock of Love Show Info
I Love New York Show Info
Remember that sexalicious off-key crooner Constantine Maroulis? Admit it, you too were totally turned on by his stringy hair and dimpled chin. Well now he can be all your’s – if you’re into BINGO and live in Wisconsin, that is. Yup, the singer – who has appeared on soaps and off-Broadway since his Idol run and is rumored to be dating Debbie Gibson – recently made an appearance in Oneida, WI at the local bingo night. He’s come so far since rockin’ out for Simon and Randy! Impressive.
Meanwhile, last season’s runner-up Blake Lewis was busy being a tool this New Year’s Eve, shouting “Titties in yo mouth!” to a pap’s video camera (if only he had beat-boxed it). American Idol just keeps churning out winners! We can’t wait to see what kind of stars they’ve unearthed this time around – the new season of Idol debuts on January 15th!
Scientists have often argued that animals, unlike humans, do not have or use reason. And with her current choice of boyfriend, it looks like Britney Spears has a lot more in common with her dog London that we thought. The peculiar pop princess is supposedly dating one of the stalkerazzi that follows her around 24/7, and the pair even spent New Year’s Even together with her kids. Seriously. This is either the stupidest idea Brit’s ever had or she’s working some awesome spy move, where she’s boning the dude to get into the inner circle that’s set out to destroy her. After the photog spent time with Brit in her hotel room last week, the gang rang in ’08 at a fancy beach house – with her court appointed monitor along for the ride, obvs. Think they posed for any pics?
You can check out her new man – Adnan Ghalib – in all his creepy paparazzo hotness here. What do you think is their favorite date activity?
a) Running over each others’ feet with Brit’s Mercedes.
b) Finding a quaint gas station bathroom to cuddle in.
c) An early morning surprise photoshoot outside of Brit’s fave Starbucks.
d) An all day shopping spree where anything goes – cars, dogs, birds, chandeliers & tanning, ya’ll!
Britney’s Worst Year Ever!
Jamie Lynn Still Pregnant, 6 Months To Go
Britney Drives Like an Effing Idiot
There are lots of ladies on the must-hear list for the first month of 2008. The sultry Sia, cockney Kate Nash, and fierce Catpower all have new discs dropping. So does our one-time You Oughta Know artist Natasha Bedingfield (listen to her new “Love Like This” on Rhapsody). But the guys haven’t given up their chunk of turf. From the Mars Volta to Drive-By Truckers, there’s lots of ass-kicking to be done.
Jump into our January game plan to find out more about each of the albums. Which title are you hot about?
Eddie Murphy Weds Babyface?s Ex
He’ll be picking up trannie hookers in 6 months and divorced in a year. But we’re sure their Bora Bora wedding was worth it! [People]
Heroes stars Milo Ventimiglia and Hayden Panetierre are Doing It
He’s 30-something. She’s barely legal. Together, they’re “Panetimiglia.” Or “Halo.” Whichever’s easier to say. [People]
Katherine Heigel Marries in Fugly Dress
Her new movie 27 Dresses mocks bad wedding fashion; Katherine rocked a bizarre, poofy gown for her recent nuptials. Art imitates crap. [PageSix]
Paris Hilton Macks Brit?s Ex
The heiress was spotted flirting with K-Fed at Vegas bash. At least trash is easier to clean up with it’s together. [Us]
Heidi Montag Ruins Face with Lip Work
Continuing on her quest to be even more famous for doing nothing, plastic surgery-loving Hills star Heidi is rocking newly
enhanced deformed lips. [DListed]
Famous people say the darnedest things, and this year was no exception! We’re honoring the craziest sh*t to come out of their restylane-enhanced mouths this year, and bringing you our fifteen favorite celebrity quotes of 2007.
- “That’s two years in a row, man … give a black man a chance, I’m trying hard man, I have the … No. 1 record, man.” - Kanye West freaking out backstage at the VMAs.
- ?Everyone now says I have a fake butt or butt implant. I?m Armenian; you should see all the women in my family. The women have bigger breasts and bigger butts. That?s how I was born. I can?t help it. I?m not gonna fight it.? - Kim Kardashian, discussing her infamous ass.
- ?At the end of the video, we?re kissing and it?s raining blood?and for me, that was one of the most romantic moments of my entire life.? - Evan Rachel Wood, describing the ‘sexiness’ of music video making with her boyfriend Marilyn Manson.
- ?Leave Britney alone!? - YouTube sensation Chris Crocker, defending his best girl.
- ?I don?t know if the world is flat.? - The View co-host Sherri Shepherd, articulating some controversial geographical views.
Watching Amy Winehouse go from top of the charts to coked-up and bloodied was one of the saddest downward spirals of the year (Paris Hilton‘s demise, however, is another story). But it’s the end of the year, and we’ve run out of ways to turn her song “Rehab” into a witty pun that accentuates her actual need to get her ass locked up and detoxing, stat. In truth, the year of Winehouse has just made us feel kind of hopeless and sad. It’s no fun watching someone whose talent leaves you awestruck abandon their gifts for a full-blown drug addiction; it’s even worse when they’re doing it covered in blood. Let’s hope Amy’s New Year’s resolution involves less snorting and more self-care, and maybe a little bit of singing too.
Amy Arrested! Finally with her Man!
Amy’s Mom Makes A Tabloid Plea
Kanye West & Amy Winehouse Lead Grammy Nominees
Amy Winehouse Strips Down!
Winehouse: Bloody Face, Slashed-up Hubby
No one could have imagined a mere 12 months ago that Brit would create such glorious new nonsense every week. Some of the craziness escapes you? Here’s our recount.
December 1 ? Even Celebrities Drunk Dial ? Britney hits the Scandinavian Mansion of Style [Ed: WTF?] to celebrate her 26th birthday with her two remaining friends, cousin/enabler Ali Sims and creepy new hanger-on Sam Lufti. Shortly after Paris Hilton joins the crew, she lends Britney her cell phone so she can call ex-husband Kevin Federline. Brit pleads with K-Fed to join them, but someone has to stay home and watch the kids. Britney becomes infuriated, and reportedly hangs up on him. [NY Post]
December 5 ? Shady Associates ? Brit pal and constant companion Sam Lufti apparently has quite the shady past. With two restraining orders and no discernible career (Lufti had claimed to be a film producer), Brit?s family fears for the singer?s safety. One source blabbed to UsWeekly: ?She?s so desperate for a friend.? [Us Weekly]
December 12 ? Calling In Sick to Court ? Ten minutes after a scheduled deposition began, Spears called and informed her representation that she was ill and unable to attend. Later that day, Brit?s creepy consort Sam Lufti called E! and told them that due to the media frenzy, Brit?s anxiety ?sky rocketed,? and she was unable to pull it together and face the same paparazzi and reporters she?s been courting for almost a decade. [Us Weekly]
December 19 ? Crazy Runs In The Family ? In an impressive show of sisterly love, 16-year-old sister Jamie Lynn steps up and takes some of the media pressure off her sister by announcing her own pregnancy on the cover of OK! Magazine. While her parents were shocked and appalled, and the younger Spears confesses to being ?scared,? she?s decided to keep the baby. When questioned by TMZ, Britney initially had no idea her sister was in a family way. [OK! Magazine]
Britney Spears Artist Info
Brit’s 16-Year-Old Sis Is Pregnant!!!
Who Strips Better? Spears or Lohan?
Brit Bombs on the VMAs