Helio Castroneves Takes Dancing Crown
The soap star beat Mel B. and Marie Osmond to win Dancing With the Stars. Who-lio? [Us]
Oprah Wants You to Love Obama
The most famous woman in the world is hitting the campaign trail in support of her fave candidate. Oprah, Obama. Obama, Oprah. Nope – that joke still doesn’t work. [Variety]
Britney Dumped by New Driver
The singer’s new chauffeur has quit after determining that driving Britney around was a “liability.” Ah, ya think? [TMZ]
Paris Still Courting Pizza Boy
The heiress is still skankin’ around town with her Swedish pizza boy, delivering nastiness all over L.A. in under 30 minutes. [TMZ]
Nicole Gets Personal About Baby
The Simple Lifer opens up about her pregnancy and sounds more like a celebu-mom than a celebu-tard. Now if only she’d go back to being a celebu-nobody, we’d be happy. [People]
Usher‘s wife, Tameka Foster, reportedly gave birth to a boy Monday night. Word is that Tameka and baby are expected to head home from the hospital on Wednesday. The family has yet to release a statement, so details are scant. We know nothing of the boy’s name or his birth weight. I know the mystery of Usher’s child’s birth weight is going to keep you up at night, so rest assured, we will keep you updated as details roll in. The story is still developing…like a newborn, actually. [People]
One would think that a woman on the verge of losing custody of her children and her driver’s license might have more pressing issues on her mind, but not Britney Spears. The Hindenburg of Pop Music is starting production for her music video today in Los Angeles for her second single “Pieces of Me.” You might remember this track as the ditty she takes aim at the media’s portrayals of her: “I’m Mrs. American dream/ SinceI was 17/I’m Mrs. Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous/I’m Mrs. ‘Oh my God, that Britney’s shameless’/ I’m Mrs. ‘Extra, extra, this just in’ / I’m Mrs. ‘She’s too fat, now she’s too thin.’”
The premise of the video, as reported by UsWeekly, has Spears sneaking into a club in disguise with her back-up dancers in order to elude the paparazzi (no word on whether Brit’s omnipresent court-appointed monitor gets a part). Given Spears’ visitation schedule with sons Jayden James and Sean Preston, she’ll only be available to shoot for two hours. Shots planned include Spears running down a staircase, and dancing on a
bar, both activities the pop tart should be an old pro at, provided underwear isn’t required. Personnel on the shoot also includes a boby double for Brit, according to UsWeekly.
Foxy Brown Ditches Cell with Good Behavior
The jailed rap star was allowed to leave solitary confinement early due to her good behavior. Really? [TMZ]
Paris Wears Underwear to Lunch
P, her sis Nicky and pregnant pal Nicole Richie all met for lunch, and Paris wore a slip with stockings and not much else. If she is that desperate for attention maybe she should try covering up. Then we’d actually be shocked. [Just Jared]
Britney Gets Babies for X-Mas
K-Fed generously gave Brit their kids for Christmas after he got the boys on Thanksgiving. He just wants to get sloshed in peace this holiday season. [NYDN]
Madonna Won?t Let Her Hubby Fail
Madge is reportedly doing damage control for her man’s new movie after it got panned by British critics. She should just show them one of her flops and Guy’s flick will look a lot better. [NYDN]
Dancing with the Stars Disappoints
The finale of everyone’s fave show was a flop, because the celeb dancers kinda suck. Eh, Jennie Garth could have told ya that. [Us]
Seeing as China just welcomed Paris Hilton to their fair land, we doubt they would have a problem with Britney Spears paying them a visit. But let this be a warning to our communist pals – BritBrit is coming and she wants your babies! Yes, the world’s most unnatural disaster is rumored to be looking to adopt a set of twins from China, and has told pals that she is in the “final stages of talks with an adoption agency.” Britney must be having a great time explaining her love of driving kids around in her lap to the adoption officials! Apparently Britney is devastated by the current custody loss of her two sons, which is obvious to the human eye by the amount of time she spends tanning and drinking Starbucks. That’s a woman who misses her kids! Her two new potential tots are actually six-years old, which probably means Britney just wants them cuz they’re old enough to be her pals. Lets be real – at six they’ve got the same level of emotional maturity as Brit (if not more) and they’ll be so much fun to watch High School Musical with! She’ll probably try to dress them in fishnets and drag them out dancing. And they’ll have to say yes – afterall, she’s the mom. Gulp. [NOTW. Image: Getty]
This Thanksgiving I gave thanks to Paris Hilton, for being beautiful, sure; but mostly just for being wonderfully stupid. Yes friends, that dead turkey you deep-fried and devoured last Thursday has more brain power than our rich, perfume-hawking princess, and she wants the whole world to know! Paris was in China doing whatever it is that she does for that job of hers (posing, smiling, spending, and swapping fluids with dudes, probably) and was blown away by the stylistic modernity of Shanghai. “Shanghai looks like the future!” she declared of her surroundings, which was, at the time, a Hyatt Hotel where her press conference was being held.
Ladies and gentlemen, Paris Hilton has seen the future and it’s full of polyester, neon lighting, and crappy framed photographs of world landmarks. But rest assured – there will be sleep number beds for all! [Ok! Images: Getty]
Check out more pics below of Paris partying, sightseeing and clutching a stuffed panda bear while roaming the streets in China.
If we told you that Britney ran a stop sign, would you be surprised? How about three stop signs – in a row? Still not surprised, right? Yeah, neither are we. But what’s even less surprising is that there’s video of her dumb driving, and we’ve got it for you above! Because you know that whatever Britney does, it must be documented on tape. Britney waxes her moustache? On tape. Britney clogs the toilet? Gotta film that! No matter how small the dirty deed, regardless of how boring it is, it must be captured for the masses to see! Because as we all know, she does everything wrong. You think her driving is bad? You should see the girl sleep. And at the rate the paparazzi is going, we will, soon. [via Us Weekly]
There’s a lot of negative inspiration a band could draw upon to write a nasty song about Ashlee Simpson: the nose, the creepy dad, the bizarre sister. California rock outfit Neurosonic selected Ashlee as their muse for an entirely different reason — her botched 2004 Saturday Night Live appearance and her Billboard award [Ed: WTF?]. The band penned “So Many People” in her honor (Sample lyric: “Am I the only one feeling the itch because they’re giving away the Billboard to some phoney little…”), and while all 280,000 of their MySpace friends might be into it, one person is definitely not.
Whereas in the past overprotective Papa Joe may have gotten involved, boyfriend Pete Wentz went ahead and sent a cease and desist letter to the band, requesting they refrain from playing the song. This Saturday, the band openly ignored the legal order at their New York City show, playing the song, and inviting the crowd to do a jig in the disgraced pop star’s honor.
We?ll never get to hear the banjo?d-out version of ?No Expectations? or ?Honky Tonk Women? or whatever Stones song Cliff Wagner & the Old #7 were plotting before they got deep-sixed last Friday night. Americans with money and phones have voted, and bluegrass ain?t part of Next Great American Band?s agenda.
That?s okay, it?s a pop and rock world we live in, especially when you?re selling blocks of commercial time in a talent contest, so we?re now down to six outfits that are going to take us through the start of ’08. I?ve still got my fingers crossed for Tres Bien, who did the shimmy-shimmy-shake on ?Get Off My Cloud? (with a ?Satisfaction? guitar riff thrown in for you dudes who miss mash-ups) and conjured a vibe out of That Thing You Do.
All in all, it was a surprisingly fun romp through the Jagger-Richards songbook, with no one ? except for the big-band nimrods ? embarrassing themselves. The metal rugrats should have told Dicko to sticko and come out sans shirts for their ?Jumping Jack Flash? romp. Something very odd about seeing an 11-year-old from the San Diego suburbs singing that he was ?born in a cross-fire hurricane,? but the Light of Doom kid swings his hair around really well; I believed him for a sec or two. And the praying pickers in the Clark Brothers summoned the dangers of the devil quite convincingly with their judge-pleasing ?Gimme Shelter.?
Oprah?s Enemies Try to Ruin Her Rep
Some weirdo is trying to trash Queen O with an expose book about alleged discrimination at her production company. We smell an Oprah’s Book Club pick! [NYP]
Did Paris Sell Out Pal Nicole?
Someone is trying to sneakily sell pics of Nicole’s baby shower (of which In Style has the exclusive pic rights) to the tabs that feature a certain blonde someone in the center of every image. BFF can also stand for Bad Friend Forever, apparently. [NYDN]
The Spice Girls Get Hacked
Someone broke into the Girls’ website and posted a message announcing the cancellation of the show. Surely the culprit deserves to be slammed down and zigazig-ahhhhed for this crime. [People]
Lohans Battle at Family Therapy
It is so nice to see that everyone’s Thanksgivings are wonderfully dysfunctional. Nothing goes with pumpkin pie quite like a group counseling session! [X17]
Britney Spends Thanksgiving Shopping
The singer just HAD to go to the Virgin Megastore on Thanksgiving to buy a CD and a movie. Think she was trying to boast sales of her own album flop? [Us]