Now that Paula Abdul is getting some hot booty action from her 32-year old boyfriend, she’s doing whatever it takes to stay young. Because, you know, all that "exhaustion" is wearing her out. The American Idol judge’s cure-all? Lasers. Yup, Paula is supposedly getting an "allover body procedure called the Titan laser
treatment" that leaves her looking smoother, tighter, and presumably kinda crazy. In case you can’t imagine what she looked like when she was an actual youth and not just youthful, give a watch to the above video clip of a 16-year old Paula singing her heart out in the 1978 flick Junior High School. Did someone say pitchy? [Gabsmash]
Poor little Jessica Simpson. For five years she practically begged for cameras to be on her, but now she’s mad because they’ve crashing her party. Literally. The former Newlywed got all pissy when the paps surrounded her birthday beach celebration yesterday in Malibu. E Online’s Marc Malkin says: "Simpson and five pals arrived this morning for a day at the beach. Lunch and a barbecue dinner were planned, sources tell me. But about two hours into it, as lunch was being served, more than a dozen paparazzi descended on the house."
Jess reportedly called the party off because she didn’t want her pals to endure the constant flashes from the nosy photogs. Funny, she had no problem dragging her friends in front of the cameras for her TV show back in the day. Guess Jessica learned that she can’t have her birthday cake and eat it too. [E Online]
It seems like Josh Duhamel can’t talk about his girlfriend Fergie without using the word, "hot." As a consequence, I can’t read about him talking about Fergie without throwing up. And so, to Josh’s recent assertion that, "[Fergie] would have been too hot for me in high school. I would have been intimidated by her," I say: GROSS. Seriously, Josh’s gushing reads like spin, spin, spin, but what exactly is he trying to convince us? That he really likes girls? That Fergie really is hot? Frankly, I’m still not convinced of either.
The latest development in Josh and Fergie’s steamy courtship is that she has taken up pole dancing. She’s a regular Midwest stripper, past meth addiction and all! Says Josh in next month’s Glamour:
"Fergie is taking lessons, but she won’t get on it until she knows what she’s doing, ’cause she doesn’t want to look stupid."
When The Beatles came to America 40 years ago their visit was known as the British Invasion. Tomorrow UK superstars Victoria and David Beckham hit our shores, but judging from the photo on the right, it’ll look more like an alien invasion. Okay, okay, that’s mean. But seriously – what is going on over there? She’s all bones and boobs!
The Spice Girl and her soccer superstar husband officially move to LA this week, even though they’ve been catwalking around Hollywood for months now picking out curtains for their $22 million mansion. Posh says she’s "really, really excited" to live in America, and she’s lined up two talk show interviews, a one hour documentary special on NBC, and a magazine cover as proof. But will celeb-saturated America care? Do you? [Fox News]
Teach A Woman To Fish… I can’t tour without a fishing pole. On days off, you can find a lake almost anywhere, and for anybody who hasn’t ever gone fishing, there really isn’t a better way to wind down whether you catch a fish or not. It’s just good to go spend a day by a lake.
Thread Counts and Highways I also can’t live without bedding. Bus bedding is never good enough. That’s one of the only things I’m a snob about. I have to have comfortable sheets and blankets.
Why do celebrities continue to communicate via MySpace?
Do they not own various texting/calling/video chatting devices?
Is there not an army of carrier pigeons at their beck and call waiting to deliver letters?
Are celebrities idiots?
At least we know the answer to the last question is a resounding YES. Lindsay’s supposed messages to Samantha are mushy and dramatic (and okay, genius): "Babe," she writes, "if I don’t have you in my life then I should just go die. … I want to marry you and have children with you." In another she signs off as "Lindsay Ronson." It definitely has a nice ring to it. Go for it LiLo LiRo! Just do it after you open a can of good ol’ Lindsay whoop ass on the person who hacked your site. [NY Daily News]
After months of relative silence on her relationship with the man she refers to simply as "Manson," Evan Rachel Wood has finally revealed what caused the two to come together, ignore current relationships, multi-decade age differences and the court of public opinion: Eyeliner. While some women cite such fickle requirements as desiring their men to be gainfully employed or disease free, Wood explains in the August issue of British Elle that her men bring the kohl. "If you’ve ever dated me, then you would have ended up wearing eyeliner at some point. All my boyfriends have." Wood goes on to call Manson "crazy," the highest compliment the starlet could pay, and contrary to her being made into a doppelganger of Manson’s ex-wife Dita Von Teese, insists that she’s "finding herself."
"Busta‘s lovemaking was not for the timid or faint of heart," writes scabrous radio personality Miss Jones in her just-released memoir Have You Met Miss Jones?: The Life and Loves of Radio’s Most Controversial Diva. In the book, she takes down Beyonc?, Jay-Z, rival radio loudmouth Wendy Williams and a host of other urban-radio royalty, but her most hilarious comments (at least, those excerpted by today’s article in the New York Daily News) were reserved for her one-time lover Busta Rhymes. Says Jonesy, "Busta was as gentle as he could be, because he was packing." But never one to give a compliment without then consulting the back of her hand, Jones continues in her acidic pseudo-wit:
"The fact that our lovemaking never lasted too long didn’t bother me, because I didn’t enjoy his drops of sweat raining down on me. [Afterward] Busta would stroll around the apartment butt-naked, then shower and go into the kitchen and fry an egg sandwich – for himself. I guess I should be grateful. It’s not like he didn’t offer me a bite."
After all, what goes better with H.A.M. than a fried-egg sandwich? [New York Daily News / Image credit: Getty]
For those of you who thought the age of the "Sensitive Man" was dead, think again. Ryan Seacrest is bringing it back full force. The Americal Idol host went into detail on his radio show Monday morning, describing the blubbering sesh he had while watching Eva Longoria and Tony Parker share their first dance together as husband and wife. And no, he didn’t imagine it, he was actually at the wedding – as a guest. Say what? "I am crying," he stated, reliving his reaction to the couple. "Then Tony dipped Eva right then and there, pulled her back up and gave her a kiss."
Who knew guys actually noticed these things? Ah – but all men are not Ryan Seacrest. He continued to describe watching this scene with fellow (female) guests Teri Hatcher, Felicity Huffman and Jessica Alba: "They are smiling and I am a disaster."
Yes. Yes, you are. I for one am insulted that you’ve made it through six seasons of American Idol without shedding a tear. What kind of gentle, tender, sweet man are you?
In the latest screen-to-stage move, ’80s cult fave Desperately Seeking Susan is being turned into a West End Musical. Downtown icon Debbie Harry of Blondie fame has penned one new song for the play, “Moment of Truth,” and the score will include Blonide hits “Tide Is High,” “Heart of Glass” and “One Way Or Another.” The film, which epitomized New York’s East Village culture at the time, was Madonna‘s acting debut and remains one of her only tolerable film performances. The play opens October 12th at London’s Novello Theater.