Following in the esteemed tradition of the Motley Cruise and Sammy Hagar’s Cabo Wabo Cruise, John Mayer is offering you a chance to stowaway on his Mayercraft — and no, that’s not dirty talk. Escape from the Winter blahs with a February trip to the Bahamas; enter to win a dose of soft rock on the high seas at VH1′s Mayercraft site. And remember, John Boy’s going to have help. Colbie Caillat and Brandi Carlile among the other artists getting their cruise on.
Mayer stopped by to film a few promos for the sweepstakes, but we kept the cameras rolling and let the part-time stand-up comic riff a little bit. Check out the clip, which we consider to be the world’s most bizarre literacy campaign.
Troubled soul chanteuse Amy Winehouse was arrested in Norway yesterday when police received an anonymous tip that she and her husband (the U.K.’s answer to Kevin Federline) were in possession of marijuana. The couple was hauled in, along with an unidentified person, after 7 grams of weed were found in their hotel room. Yesterday all the Internets were aflutter with rumors of domestic violence and crack pipes, but it turns out it was just a little smoke. Back in August, Winehouse was found in her hotel room with a hooker and some blow, so we actually feel she’s on the road to recovery.
Just before a recently rehabbed Winehouse embarked on her rescheduled European tour, she recorded a duet with Pete Doherty, a worthy opponent for Winehouse in the battle for the title of Toxicologist’s Worst Nightmare. The song, called “1939 Returning,” is allegedly set for release later this month.
Remember how earlier this week a supposed source at Def Jam shut down rumors that Nas‘ next album would be called Nigga and released in December? Now that’s been shut down. What a saga! Nas has confirmed to MTV News that he does have an album on the way (December 11, to be precise) and that it’s going to be given the potentially more offensive name of Nigger. Racial discourse, I hope you had a big meal because you’re about to get a workout. Nas elaborates on the criticism he’s received and reasons for the album title:
“If [race expert] Cornell West was making an album called Nigger, they would know he’s got something intellectual to say. To think I’m gonna say something that’s not intellectual is calling me a nigger, and to be called a nigger by Jesse Jackson and the NAACP is counterproductive, counter-revolutionary…I wanna make the word easy on muthaf***ers’ ears. You see how white boys ain’t mad at ‘cracker’ ’cause it don’t have the same [sting] as ‘nigger’? I want ‘nigger’ to have less meaning [than] ‘cracker.’ With all the bulls*** that’s going on in the world, racism is at its peak. I wanna do the s*** that’s not being done. I wanna be the artist who ain’t out. I wanna make the music I wanna hear.“
Interestingly, his stance on using the word to take away its power falls right in line with that of Imus’ lawyer (as related in the FoxNews.com story that Nas is debunking: “Words like that should be deprived of their meanings, and then they can’t hurt.” Nas and Imus’ people: who knew they had so much in common? [MTV News / Image: Getty]
Heard the one about Britney Spears getting collagen lip injections and then driving over a photographer? There’s no actual punchline, because Britney’s enough of a joke on her own. As you can see in the above video, the wreck of a singer left an LA medical center covering her mouth. Pics show her lips looking extra large, but maybe they’re just swollen from eating too many Big Macs. Girl likes things super-sized! Poor thing probably couldn’t see over her massive mouth, and that’s how she ended up nailing a photographer’s foot under her car. I have a sneaking suspicion that her lips actually knocked him out. They’re so huge she had to open her window to make room for them, and crunch! Man down. The incident so upset Britney that she stopped for a moment, started crying and then drove away to go eat a cookie. You know, something she just urgently NEEDS to do in public.
Partying Paris Hires a Driver
The heiress arranged for transportation so she didn’t have to get behind the wheel after a night of table dancing and shots. It only took her 40 days in jail to wise up! [Us Weekly]
Heidi Montag?s Sexy Music Video
As if Heidi and Spencer couldn’t get more loathsome…The two recently shot her music video on the beach, with Heidi prancing around in a bikini. The concept appears to be T&A – her only two redeeming qualities, natch. [Just Jared]
Is Seinfeld’s Wife a Liar?
Jessica Seinfeld’s new kids cookbook is eerily similar to another recipe guide that came out earlier this year. Which leads us to ask, “What’s the deal with plagiarizing about pureed food?” [NYDN]
Britney Settles Hit & Run
One problem out of the way, 68950302840303 more to go! [TMZ]
Doggone Tired Ellen Cancels Show
After a grueling week of dog drama, Ellen takes the day off. Will her fans call in death threats to her now, too? [TMZ]
Much to the chagrin of lambs and drag queens across the globe, Mariah Carey reportedly has pushed back the release of her next album (initially due in November) to February. That makes her the third veteran diva in a row who just can’t hang with the holiday rush: new releases from Janet Jackson and Madonna that were planned for later this year (to cash in on the Christmas buying frenzy) have all been pushed back to an early-2008 release date. In Madonna’s case, her record most likely was held-up due to tepid Internet response of two not-at-all accidentally leaked tracks.
Writer Roger Friedman predicts the early months of 2008 to bring a “Diva Logjam.” If that’s true, who do you think will come out on top in the charts? More importantly, who out of the three of them, could win a mud-wrestling match? My bet’s on Mariah — she has the firmest breasts and their value as weapons cannot be underestimated. [FoxNews.com /Images: Getty]
The tale of Lindsay Lohan stealing another woman’s man at rehab is so juicy that it’s almost as good as one of those steamy, cheese-ball romance novels. So why not make it into one? We’ve used Breanna Tierney‘s interview with the National Enquirer as inspiration for a tale about this torrid, methed-up love triangle. Draw a hot bath, pour a tall glass of non-alcoholic wine and get ready to melt from the heat of Lindsay and Riley’s sober, forbidden love. There’s no treatment for this kind of passion!
Chapter 8: Their Love is Real, the Ring is Not
No moon was shining in the stairwell at the Cirque Lodge rehab facility, as windows were a luxury afforded only to the patients’ bedrooms. But Lindsay and Riley couldn’t touch in their bedrooms – couldn’t even have visitors in there – so this was where they painted the masterpiece of their young love. On the crusty, cigarette-butt covered stairs, their pale bodies mixed with the egg shell white paint until they became one giant canvas, together. Riley pressed his face into Lindsay’s shoulder, inhaling her scent like someone suffering from an asthma attack sucking their inhaler. Tangled in her hair, he was overcome by the sweet smell of the chicken fingers she had for dinner mixed with the pack of Marlboro Reds they had smoked together in group therapy. He grabbed her buttocks and gasped when he felt skin. “Holy eff,” he whispered into her freckled ear. “Your pants are already off?!”
“No you ass.” His red-haired lover’s voice sent chills down his acne-covered neck. “It’s my new Balenciaga small Classique bag in Mustard. I just got it and I didn’t want to put it on the floor. Doesn’t the leather feel nice?”
Overcome by a shared passion for couture goods sculpted from the hides of farm animals and crushed Percosets, they embraced. Their love had become an addiction no intervention could tear apart.
Don’t search for the new DVDs every week. Come here and we’ll tell you about each title – even if it’s got a smelly side.
Transformers (Two Disc Special Edition)
Thanks to the miracle of the fast forward button, most of the nonsense on this blockbusting behemoth can be skipped over in favor of what we all paid $10 to see: Megatron and Optimus Prime kicking the living diesel out of each other. Pieced together from leftover screenwriting seminars and slumming actors (Jon Voight maybe, but John Turturro is better than this), even director Michael Bay can’t quite bring this junkyard dog to life. The two-disc special edition features Bay commentary and many, many featurettes that provide a peek into the Armageddon helmer’s creative frenzy.
Grindhouse Presents Planet Terror
If Quentin Tarantino‘s half of the Grindhouse road-show subverted the genre, buddy Robert Rodriguez plays it straight — and makes one of his best movies since Desperado. Amid much surface noise and “Aw man . . .” edits, a Texas town, led by stripper-turned-stand-up comic Rose McGowan, fights off an invasion of organ-munching undead. Rodriguez’s commentary holds no bars, and adds value to the package.
Lance Bass reportedly is coming out (not like that, silly!) with allegations that he thought at least two of his fellow ‘N Sync bandmates were gay. Justin Timberlake, according to him, had professed the desire for a gay role in a film, setting off the now out-and-proud Lance’s gaydar. Chris Fitzpatrick also sent minds wandering: “We thought Chris was gay because he used to hang out with a choreographer.” Well, if he were gay, he’d be more than just hanging!
Of course he thought they were gay! Who didn’t? And who can look at pictures of the other ‘N Sync members, J.C. Chasez and Joey Fatone, without wondering (however briefly), “How you doin’?” In fact, I think the rule for boy-band members (especially those, uh, managed by Lou Pearlman), should be: gay until proven straight. The choreography and falsetto tendencies demand it. There’s no word from Lance on what made him ultimately decide that Justin and Chris weren’t gay. That’s maybe best left up to our imaginations. [contactmusic.com]