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American Idol: Inspiration? No, Perspiration

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In honor of tonight’s Idol Gives Back charity broadcast, the American Idol contestants were charged with singing ?inspirational songs,? a genre apparently fluid enough to include anything from Judy Garland to Queen. The eight remaining finalists inspired less than they ought. Let?s review:

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Mr. & Mrs. Z Wedding Details!

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First Mary J. let the cat out of the bag, now Jay and Bey‘s florist is talking: UsWeekly‘s latest cover story features a lengthy story on the first couple of hip-hop’s wedding. According to florist Amy Vongpitaka (who probably won’t be hired for any future celeb weddings after opening her big mouth), Mr. and Mrs. Z had an almost six-foot wedding cake, 750 pounds of flowers, and an intimate guest list at their 9,000 square foot apartment. While the couple have refused to confirm or deny their marriage, Beyonce did keep her ring finger covered on Tuesday when the singer stepped out in Manhattan.

by (@katespencer)

Jamie-Lynn’s Got a Gun

jamielynn.jpgLook out, nosy photogs! Jamie-Lynn Spears‘ man Casey Aldridge is young, wild and ready to do anything to protect is baby-mama! The pair were cruising along in some sort of four wheelin’ vehicle (their friends were up ahead in an ATV) with a pit bull chillin’ in the back. As you can see in this video, Casey pulled over to yell at some paps who were supposedly lurking on private property trying to snap pics of his pregnant bride-to-be. Before he drove off he gave a little gun flash (the footage is foggy, but TMZ is claiming its a weapon) to the trespassers to prove that he means business. The dude is only 18 but he’s got attitude – and a gun! He’s giving Kevin Federline a little competition in the trashy Spears-boyfriend department, don’t ya think?? [Star Magazine/TMZ]

by (@katespencer)

Wednesday: Naomi Campbell is Not Nice

naomi.jpgNaomi Dropped Racist Slang During Arrest
The supermodel allegedly spewed racial slurs at the cops who attempted to arrest her. High fashion, low class. [DListed]

Paris Hilton Blogs her Deepest Thoughts
America’s princess, Paris Hilton, is in love with EVERYTHING, according to her MySpace blog. Her boyfriend, his band, Canada – what isn’t she obsessed with? [People]

Wanna See a Pregnant Tori Spelling in a Bikini? Totes!
Donna Martin has graduated from teen queen to MILF. [Us]

Ryan Seacrest Gets Benji Madden?s Sloppy Seconds
The Idol host has been squiring Madden’s ex-GF Sophie Monk around town. We can’t quite tell if this is a step up or down for the Aussie hottie. [JustJared]

LiLo?s Ex-Bodyguard Sues for Big Bucks
Linds is getting a legal whupping again, this time from a bodyguard who is suing for back pay. [E! Online]

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Hear Mariah’s New Tune: Hello “Bye Bye”

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Mariah has always had her sentimental side. So don’t be shocked that “Bye Bye,” the second track from E-MC2, is a pat on the back to those of us who have recently lost someone dear. Appropriately, her vocal sounds sweet on this one. She recently told Billboard that her billion dollar voice sometimes has a mind of its own.

“The days of rest are really it. I sit here with my throat sprays, and spraying water and drinking a lot of water is kind of the only thing I can do. A lot of people get obsessive with trying to take things for their throat ? it doesn’t work the same for me. And I just got over the flu, so that can be something that will stop me in my tracks. But sometimes I’ll sing better with a cold, as long as it’s not in my throat. It’s weird. My voice has a mind of it’s own [Laughs]. You have to maintain it, and you have to have these vocal rest days. I’ll be doing what you’re doing, just writing notes instead of talking. It’s total silence, and sometimes I’ll whisper softly. It’s not good to whisper for your voice, it’s not good to stage whisper.”

Check Rhapsody for E=MC2 a week from today.

by (@katespencer)

Britney Needs Cash This Badly?

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Papa Spears – who deserves mad props for stabilizing his wild daughter – is determined to get her finances back on track with some work hawking furniture made in Denmark. How do you say “It’s just like a mini-mall” in Danish? Jamie is in cahoots with Claus Hjelmbak, who is the same dude who runs those big bashes at the Scandinavian Style Mansion, where Brit, Paris and LiLo have all gotten big bucks for hosting gigs. Sounds like a perfect business partner! Hjelmbak and Papa Spears have been allegedly working on the deal for a couple of months, but nothing has been finalized. We’re desperate for a new love seat and bedroom set, and we’d rather buy from Brit than Ikea. Work at it, girl! [NYP]

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OneRepublic Decodes “Stop and Stare”

After watching the awesome-but-hard-to-follow video for “Stop and Stare” by OneRepublic, we were left with some questions. For example — who’s the old guy? Where’s that creepy motel? Did this cost as much as a movie? Luckily, OneRepublic lead singer Ryan Tedder is such a nice fellow, he stopped by to walk us through the imagery-laden musical epic, plus fill us in on the band’s next video.

1. This video almost didn?t happen.
?We had written a treatment originally, and it just got too complicated and over-budget,? Tedder said. Originally set on the Lower East Side, the band settled for the desert locale when director Anthony Mandler submitted his treatment. ?We got [the expense of the video] down from $620,000 to $450,000?which for a new band ? no bands are getting that kind of budget right now.?

2. Don?t worry; you?re not the only one confused.
?A lot of people have questions as to what [the video?s] about,? says Tedder. ?Any time you see a shot of me, it?s me contemplating where I?m at in my life when the song was written. The grave and the priest represent death, and the girl who?s later pregnant represents birth and life.?
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by (@katespencer)

Everybody Wants Beyonce to be Pregnant

beyoncebaby.jpgJust days after Beyonce and Jay-Z allegedly capped off their six-year romance with a wedding, people are already whispering that the couple wed so quickly because Beyonce is knocked up. The alleged proof: their whirlwind nuptials, and that her sis Solange had a shotgun wedding a while back. Wow, so it must be true! Let me shatter the dreams of gossipy people around the world – she’s probably not pregnant. Aside from the fact that sisters love to do the exact opposite of each other (er, aside from Jamie-Lynn Spears and BritBrit), Beyonce and Jay-Z likely got married quickly so that we, the media, wouldn’t ruin it. And even though we kinda did by gawking at the whole thing, neither Beyonce or Jay have actually confirmed that they wed, which means THEY WIN. So don’t go around spreading pregnancy rumors just because you’re pissed that we still don’t know what kind of dress B wore. Besides, no one will believe it until we can spot a vague, hardly there, probably imaginary mini-bump. When that happens, I’ll be the first one to whisper the P word.

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More Paula: One Plane Crash & 14 Surgeries

abdul1.jpgVH1.com caught up with pop legend and American Idol judge Paula Abdul to speak about her new song and video (see it here), ?Dance Like There?s No Tomorrow,? off of Randy Jackson?s Music Club, Vol. 1 We?ll be breaking down Abdul?s comments over the next week in a variety posts. In today?s installment, she talks about her plane crash, injuries and the painful road to recovery.

Paula Abdul on her long absence from the music industry:

I wish they had [a way for me to show what was going on] behind the scenes. Because when [I was at my peak in the '90s], I had a plane crash. That?s something I quietly made go away — no paparazzi or tabloid stuff. I took care of that. I didn?t want people to feel sorry for me or to count me out. The truth of the matter is that when I got into a plane crash, it was on my birthday. [I was flying from] St. Louis to Denver. I had a day off in Denver.

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by (@katespencer)

Tuesday: Bravo, You are Out

projectrunway.jpgProject Runway says Auf Wiedersehen to Bravo
Heidi Klum has moved her uber-hit Project Runway from Bravo to Lifetime! Think they’ll film a special made for TV movie starring Meredith Baxter Berney about the process?? [DListed]

She-Pratt Dishes on Spencer and Heidi
Lil’ sis Stephanie Pratt opened her rather large mouth about her brother’s troubled relationship. OMG she thinks they’re “perfect for each other!”? [Us]

Drunk Driver Mischa Barton Takes Plea Deal
Messed up OC star Mischa Barton is grabbing the plea deal offered to her in her DUI case. No jail for this celebutard – yet.? [People]

Rob Lowe Sues Ex-Nanny for Claiming Infidelity
This seems like the perfect plot for a Rob Lowe comeback flick!? [People]

Gossip Guy Dumps Carrie Underwood via Text
Chace Crawford gave crooner Carrie the boot with the ol’ “Sry, IDK, but we need 2 brk up.” Classy.? [Us]