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by (@katespencer)

Will Brit Look This Good in Court Today?

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Britney Jean Spears is set to actually make an appearance at a custody hearing today, and will reportedly ask the judge for more time with her sons Sean and Jayden. If she can remain mentally stable (no caffeine, girlfriend!) and brush her hair a bit, we think the judge should rule in her favor! Brit may be still be a bit crazy, but she’s currently clocking in low on the train wreck scale – a big improvement from her disastrous days earlier this year! We’ll be rooting for her – and for the stylist who does Brit’s hair, make up and clothes on the set of How I Met Your Mother(pic above). We hope Brit hires you for everyday help! [PopCrunch]

by (@katespencer)

Gossip Break: ScarJo is Off the Market

scarjo.jpgScarlett Johansson is engaged to her older beau, Alanis’ ex Ryan Reynolds. What a great distraction from her awful album!? [ICYDK]

Lindsay Lohan‘s gonna play a down-on-her luck gal on Ugly Betty. Art imitates life?? [DListed]

Photoshop makes Mariah Carey looking amazing!? [Seriously? OMG]

BritBrit‘s back on How I Met Your Mother, and she looks better on TV than in real life.? [Just Jared]

Foxy Brown‘s wanted back in court to deal with more assault charges.? Riker’s wants that ill na-na!? [Bossip]

Usher‘s new video looks like a bad Sly Stallone action movie.? [Concrete Loop]

by (@katespencer)

Kanye Blogs His Many Meltdowns

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The great thing about Kanye West is that he’s either severely hot or cold about something. Lukewarm just ain’t his thing! So it was no surprise that the man-diva got a little pissed when Entertainment Weekly grade his recent tour a B+ – a grade I would? have killed for in grade school/high school/college/life. Kanye went for the mag’s jugular on his blog, writing, “Ya’ll rated my album sh*tty and now ya’ll come to the show and give it a B+. What’s a B+ mean? I’m an extremist. It’s either pass or fail! A+ or F-! You know what, f*ck you and the whole f*cking staff!!!”

He then also called them “f*cking trash.” Damn. I rate that rant a A+! Later he calmed down a bit in a post about his Houston show that went awry. “Unfortunately?for certain media outlets, you will never be able 2 ‘Michael?Jackson’ me,” he wrote. “That means 2 make it seem like everything I do is so weird or out of place… they always try 2 make it seem like everything is about my ego! That joke is getting old.”

It is? Cuz we’re still laughing.

by (@katespencer)

R. Kelly’s Kiddie Porn Trial is X-Rated

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Crooner R. Kelly is trapped in the courthouse, stuck in the middle of a heated child porn trial revolving around a video of the singer having a three-way with an underaged girl. A new witness is set to testify against Kelly, and is claiming that not only can she identify the young woman in the vid (who appears to be 13 or 14 and whose identity has been disputed in court), but that she too engaged in group sex with R. Kelly when she was a young teenager too! For the record, R. Kelly is 41 years old. Yes, this might just be the grossest thing ever. If only R had just stuck his key in an older ignition, this mess could have been avoided. Beep. [Chicago Sun-Times]

by (@katespencer)

Brit Initiates Jamie-Lynn Into Baby Mama Club

britneyjl.jpgBritney Spears left the safety of Malibu to head to her hometown of Kentwood, LA for her sister’s bridal shower and guess what, the party was apparently “normal!” This not only the first time Brit’s been back to Kentwood in over a year, but it’s also the first time she’s been described as normal in ages. All in all this trip was a huge success! A guest in attendance said that, “Jamie Lynn opened every gift. We all sat in a circle and she opened gifts and thanked every person. It was just a good old-fashioned baby shower.”

B kept it so real in honor of her lil sis, that she got all dolled up in a dress to smoke on the porch and then headed back home to Cali in a sexy get-up of tiny pink shorts and white wedge flip flops. The singer really embodies the greatest joy of motherhood – dressing trashing. Jamie-Lynn has so much to look forward too! [People]

by (@katespencer)

Gossip Break: Spencer & Heidi Fake It to Make it

speidi.jpgHeidi and Spencer fake their relationship ups and downs for tabloid cash. Shocker. [The Superficial]

Britney will be attending Jamie-Lynn‘s baby shower in this weekend. Louisiana beware.? [DListed]

Madonna: not 24, but dresses like she is! [Seriously? OMG!]

Kate Hudson has a stalker, and it’s not Owen Wilson. [I'm Not Obsessed]

Check out pics of Paris Hilton kidnapping another helpless puppy to dump in her harem of tiny dogs. [ICYDK]

Naomi Campbell may claim she’s not crazy, but she sure looks the part. [Concrete Loop]

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Madonna Ties One On With Timberlake

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If you spotted Madonna yesterday, you were probably surprised to find her looking a little less energetic than usual. In an uncharacteristic move for the work-out-aholic and mother of three, Madge went out after her triumphant Roseland show and “tied one on” with her evening co-star, Justin Timberlake. “We had to celebrate,” a groggy Madonna told Ryan Seacrest when she called into his morning show. “[We] decided we both work too hard and have to have fun.” Drinks with Justin Timberlake sounds like fun to us. The star reportedly sipped on a martini at her after party at New York’s The Box, then had a shot of tequila and a lemon drop.

by (@katespencer)

Usher Trashes Hollywood Baby Pimpers

usher.jpgCalling Brangelina, TomKat, X-Tina, Nicole, and Jarc Lopanthony!!! Usher thinks you and your million dollar baby photos are disgusting! He’s speaking out against all the celebs who accept cash from mags in exchange for baby pics, and he’s pissssssed. “In no way would I ever pimp out my child for money,” he growled to Page Six after rumors swelled that he too was selling pics of his newborn, Usher V. “I am livid that people talk about my child.”

He also ranted about the (mis)treatment of his wife Tameka, stating, “I stand by her as a man loving my wife and being there for my child . . . this is my wife and I would hope that [people] would respect my wife and my marriage and who I have chosen to spend my life with.” Certainly we respect Usher’s opinion (his wife is another story) and agree with his baby-pimpin’ stance. Still, we find it a little odd that he’d then pose with his son – for free – on the cover of the June issue of Essence magazine. Isn’t it possible to pimp even if no cash exchanges hands? [Page Six]

by (@katespencer)

Beyonce’s Baby On Its Way!

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Holy crap everyone! A blog, Hollyscoop, has “learned exclusively through multiple sources that Beyonce is expecting.” OMG!!! This completely anonymous source assures the world that B is in her early stages and that everyone at their wedding knew the good news, however she won’t reveal it for a while because ya know, they’re super private. Except, of course, when it comes to talking to this anonymous source, natch, who also alleged that they had a shotgun wedding due to the pregnancy.

Wow! Guess what? I have an exclusive anonymous source (my cat) who can reveal that Britney Spears is going to be the democratic nominee for President and that Paris Hilton has gotten rid of her Bentleys and plans to ride horses around Beverly Hills in order to stop pollution! Oh, they’ve also give me an exclusive pic of Beyonce and Jay-Z‘s yet to be born baby decked out in Dereon (see above)! Anonymous sources are like super heroes, ya’ll. Totally amazing and 100% fake!