ROOT

by (@katespencer)

Paula Abdul’s Major 10 Minute Meltdown

What perfect timing! Just as we were gearing up for a new season of American Idol comes this crazy tale of our precious Paula Abdul totally losing it in the airport. A traveling spy saw the whole thing and offered this glorious account: “She had an insane nervous breakdown that lasted 10 minutes. One minute she was hyperventilating and on the verge of passing out; the next she was yelling into her cell phone in this deep, rage-filled ?Poltergeist? voice. She kept screaming three names over and over ? Michael, Sidney and Leslie. Everyone was staring at her, but she didn?t care.?

We have a feeling Michael, Sidney and Leslie have grabbed their passports, some cash and their dignity and high-tailed it out of the country. Will Paula lose it on this season of American Idol? Did Sanjaya have the lamest hair ever? Only six more days till we find out! Below the jump we’ve got a few of our other favorite Paula moments for you to marvel at.

Read more…

by (@katespencer)

Wednesday: Will Wants to be Like Tom

willtom.jpgWill Smith Sucked Into Scientology
The rapper-turned-actor is reportedly recruiting people for his pal Tommy’s religion. [NYDN]

J. Lo Calls Baby a ?Bubble Gut?
Lopez assumed “everybody knew” about her pregnancy before she revealed it. True, but we didn’t care! [People]

K-Fed?s Police Order Against Britney
The LAPD slapped Brit with a restraining order on behalf of her ex, a customary practice when people get crazy. Um, can we have one too? [People]

Dr. Phil Pisses Off the Spears
They’re accusing the TV doc of violating their trust when he spoke out about his meeting with Brit. What a shock, we totally expected him to stay mum. [People]

Jennifer Love Hated Bikini Blow Up
The whole bathing suit pic fiasco hurt her feelings – but it helped her career, so it was all worth it, right? [Us]

by

Rock In the Movies: 2007

deweycox.jpg

You’ve got Dewey Cox tripping through all the rock ‘n’ roll eras, from the Elvis and Buddy Holly days to the Beatles and the Maharishi daze. You got Joy Division‘s Ian Curtis making some of the most gorgeous gloom ever concocted before offing himself. And you’ve got 18-20 versions of Bob Dylan bouncing around in Todd HaynesI’m Not There. All sorts of music took over the screens last year. Romp through our flipbook and see if there’s a story you missed.

by (@katespencer)

Eminem’s Hospital Scare

eminem.jpgSlim Shady is now Sick Shady – the rapper landed himself in the hospital over Christmas with a serious case of pneumonia and a heart condition. Sources on the inside also report that Em’s weight has ballooned to over 200 pounds. His rep recently gave the official word: “Over the holidays, Marshall Mathers, aka Eminem, was under doctor’s care at a Detroit-area hospital for complications due to pneumonia. He has since been released and is doing well recovering at home.”

We’re glad to hear he’s healing and kinda hope maybe he’s got enough material to inspire an album. Eminem’s been in hiding for the past year or so, and told Hot 97 in September that his projects were “in limbo.” Let’s hope for a speedy recovery of both his health and his career. [MTV News.]

by (@katespencer)

Divorce Countdown: Kate Heigl & That Dude

heigl-header.jpg

Katherine Heigl is so pretty and perfect and all that sweet stuff. She just got married to that kind of good-looking rocker dude and is now gushing about how pumped she is to have babies. But you know who doesn’t look so psyched? Her new husband. He looks like he’d rather be crammed into a hammock somewhere, strumming his guitar and guzzling a Corona as a couple of hot chicks swoon over his dark and stormy (and mascara-enhanced?) eyes. Katherine’s brought home an Emmy, snagged a raise on her hit show Grey’s Anatomy, and scored a hit movie (last summer’s Knocked Up) and now a serious chick flick in the past year. Her asking price per film has grown from $300,000 to a nice n’ easy $6 million! And you know she’s just waiting to get all ugly for some role and win an Oscar a la Charlize Theron – and score some sweet endorsement deals during her free time. All which leads us to believe that this cute couple isn’t gonna have time for baby-making, because they’ll be to busy breaking up after her star becomes too bright. Don’t believe me? Just ask Reese Witherspoon and Hilary Swank.

Check out more pics of Katherine and her hubby at the premiere of 27 Dresses below:

[All Images: Getty]

by (@katespencer)

Britney Wears a Bra & Stays Home

britney-header.jpg

We spend a good 95% of our day thinking, reading, and yapping about Britney Spears. And every day it’s the same old crap (like last night: her car broke down, she hitched a ride with paparazzi, Brit rocked an almost nip-slip, slept at the Peninsula Hotel and looked generally trashy and insane) . Life with Britney is like that movie Groundhog Day, except her sh*t stopped being funny a long time ago and we still laugh at Bill Murray. So here is what we wish we could write – a day in the life of Britney that we could only dream of. Maybe someday even just a minute of it will come true.

7AM:
Britney rises early and heads out for a jog wearing a supportive sports-bra, a tank top that covers her stomach, actual shorts and sneakers. Her short, natural hair is pulled back in a headband.
9AM: On the way home for her run, Brit stops by a local coffee shop for a small cup of green tea.
10AM: Britney takes a long, hot shower, washes her hair, scraps off her fake tan and scrubs her finger nails.
11AM: The starlet chews some Nicorette while cleaning out her entire closet, and donates her collection of skanky shirts, butt-revealing dresses and beat-up boots to charity.
12PM: Britney’s kids come over for a visit and she makes then a healthy meal, plays with them in the yard, and puts them down for a nap.
4PM: Mama Brit drives (below the speed limit) her reasonably-priced hybrid vehicle to the farmer’s market and picks up some vegetables and fish for dinner.
6PM: The family gathers for a meal made of actual food, followed by a G-rated movie together.
8PM: Britney goes to bed. Alone.

by (@katespencer)

Tuesday: Jamie-Lynn Smartens Up

jamielynnespears-010808.jpgNicole Kidman: Officially Knocked Up
Nic and hubby Keith Urban are expecting their first baby – and we’re pretty sure it’s not L. Ron Hubbard‘s demon child. Congrats!? [People]

Jamie Lynn Spears Goes Back to School
Brit’s little sis is hard at work in her hometown getting her GED before her baby’s born. She’s such a good role model for her older sister.? [People]

Jessica Simpson Avoids Her Ex
The singer skipped out on a vaca with her little sis in Costa Rica after she learned her ex-hubby Nick Lachey (and his girlfriend Vanessa Minillo) were holed up at the resort next door.? [NYP]

Golden Globes Get Axed
Sorry kids! No watching celebs sit around getting hammered in $5000 dresses (and winning things) this year.? [Us]

Dr. Phil Won?t Shut Up About Britney
If we may echo our pal Chris Crocker, leave Britney alone!? [Us]

by (@katespencer)

Jessica Gets Romantic With her Parents

jessica-simpson-010708.jpgDon’t take dating tips from Jessica Simpson. If her past track record isn’t enough (we miss you Bam Nick and John!), let her latest sexy move be a lesson to you – she is currently on vacation with recent flame Tony Romo and her parents. HER PARENTS! How can they get busy when her mom and dad are sleeping right next door?! The couple, the Simpsons, and some pals are all staying together in a rented villa in Cabo San Lucas. At the airport, a source spotted Jess and Tony ?rubbing each others butts and laughing on the tarmac.” Kinky! Things got even crazier over at their vacation house. ?Tony couldn’t stop touching Jessica,? another spy (with really awesome long-distance vision) said, ?They were having a great time, with Jess? parents laughing and joking with Jess and Tony. Tony was affectionate to Jess and everyone seemed very relaxed.?

Yes, supervised sleepovers are always such stress relievers! It sounds like Jess needs to check her co-dependency baggage – and her rents – the next time she travels with her dude…if he even sticks around that long. [Us]

by (@katespencer)

Lindsay Lohan Should Make a Sex Tape

lindsaylohan010708.jpgOne of Lindsay Lohan‘s Italian one-night-stands has spilled the beans to the British tabloids (what took him so long?) and it’s hot in the trashiest of ways. It’s no secret that LiLo likes to bone, and we love a girl who’s got no shame when it comes to her horniness. As her conquest tells it, Lindsay is living La Dolce Vita Vagina, and we’re happy to go along for the ride. Some choice quotes:

“Lindsay was very, very good and surprisingly experienced. She wanted to do everything, every position. She was extremely flexible and adventurous.” Unlike her dude, we are not surprised at her experience. We have Wilmer Valderrama to thank for that.

“She was wearing mismatched under-wear?a black bra with emerald green French knickers. But they came off too. Naked, she took my breath away.” Lindsay’s bod gives someone else an asthma attack!

“To be honest I felt a bit intimidated. I was with Lindsay Lohan. But I took off my clothes and we started to make love. And then it was just like two ordinary people making love. It was very passionate and intense and lasted for 1 hours, maybe more.” Or until she blacked out from all that vodka.
“She adored kissing and never wanted to stop?no matter what we were doing. We had safe sex, and afterwards she cuddled up to me and we went to sleep.” So she could have sweet dreams of doing other Italian dudes.

by (@katespencer)

Brit Released from Hospital, Romances Pap

britneyspears_lucky.jpg

We’re not totally sure how it’s possible for one woman to create a gajillion news stories in one day, but Britney Spears seems to be capable of doing just that. So let’s break down the Brit report into two easy categories to try to simplify this mess.

1. What shocked us: Brit tested clean for drugs and alcohol. Turns out Britney’s just really just high on life!

2. What didn’t shock us:

  • Where to begin? How about with Dr. Phil? He of course got involved in the drama and then took a beating in the press after it was alleged he arrived unannounced and freaked the freak (Britney) out. He cleared his name this morning and says her fam wanted him there, in true trashy fashion.
  • Britney was released early from the hospital. Because celebrities can do whatever they want, no matter how crazy they may be. Lucky!
  • Kevin is “freaked out” by Brit’s release and is stocking up on security. The Fedster continues to prove he is way smarter than his outfit choices make him look.
  • X17 is accusing Britney’s paparazzi boyfriend of trying to sell his stories – and pics – to news agencies for $5 million dollars! And here we thought he was just interested in making a new friend.
  • Brit doesn’t seem to care, and she’s been spotted in Santa Barbara shopping and kissing her new man. Oh, and some video shows Britney on her hotel balcony not wearing pants – the least shocking news of all.
  • Sources tell TMZ that her family is desperately trying to get Britney into mental hospital to deal with her (alleged) bi-polar disorder. Maybe they should have thought of this like, four years ago when they were all living the good life off of her cash.