ROOT

by (@katespencer)

Fashion WTF: All Signs Point to Bad Taste

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Lindsay’s career may be “back on track,” but her fashion choices are as poor-planned as ever. At a recent event celebrating her current Paper magazine cover, Linds showed up decked out like a Wall Street trader on top, with a fugly skirt surely deemed by someone close to her as cutting edge. Perhaps it was created by her pal Jeremy Scott, the fashion designer who shot the cover, but we have no idea, as all our clothes are from last year’s sale rack at Old Navy. Yet while our garb may be shabby, our eye for bad fashion is not. LiLo’s ensemble is an ensembleghhhhh.

[All images: Getty]

by (@katespencer)

Kanye Needs A Connect Four in Every City

kanyewest-0305.jpgTMZ got their hands on Kanye West‘s rider for his most recent concert tour, and his demands are, well, exactly what’d you expect. You can enjoy the entire 23 pages here, but why not just let us pick out the gems for you?

- There must be a masseuse at each show. Obvi. Big egos make for big back pains.

- A Connect Four game, if possible (The gang travels with one, but ya know – in case Kanye forgets it on his tour bus) .

- An entertainment center with an XBox 360, Playstation III and Guitar Hero. Fun!

- One bottle each of Hennessey, Sky or Absolut Vodka, Patron Tequila, plus six packs of Heineken and Stella Artois beer.

All food must be healthy and organic – NO fried food will be served. NONE! Kanye’s body is too precious for such things (alcohol excluded).

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American Idol: The Men vs. the ’80s

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The stakes have never been higher on American Idol. The boys are down to 8, and with only ’80s week standing between them and the Final 12, the pressure?s on. The ’80s are a decade whose vogue hasn?t ended yet, but most of the guys opted for balladry, slow-tempo jams not entirely suited to the bombastic decade that brought the world Duran Duran, Culture Club and Madonna’s early singles. This week, the contestants’ video revelations of their most embarrassing moments brought more spark than most of their performances. Who will still be with us for Beatles Week? Let?s take a look.

Read more…

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American Idol‘s Danny Noriega Hates You

In an unfortunate turn of events, poor Danny Noriega (whose spin on “Tainted Love” last night was horrid) is appearing all over the Internets in a video (see above). In the 30-second clip, recorded some unspecified time ago, Noriega sings “We wish you a merry Christmas” before lapsing into vulgarity and insults. Specifically, he says he hopes that Santa rapes your mom. And so ends Mr. Noriega’s 14th minute. Tune into American Idol on Thursday night to see whether or not Simon and company will finish Noriega’s chance at stardom permanently.

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Madonna Wants To Be Your Dog

Rolling Stone tells us that The Stooges are going to be saluting their Motor City sister Madonna at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremonies next Monday night, March 10. (VH1 Classic is airing the entire show live at 8:30 pm.). Crazy, right? But crazy is good. What Madge track would you like to see Iggy and the boys rip apart? Let’s assume it isn’t “Papa Don’t Preach” and let’s hope it’s “Into The Groove.” And if you really want to be a dreamer, imagine a world where the Material Lady has a bit too much bubbly, heaves her yoga pad in the corner, and jumps on stage to help the boys ramrod through “Real Cool Time.”

Other heroes will celebrate their forebears, too. Damien Rice (read a classic interview here) will salute Leonard Cohen, James Cotton will evoke Little Walter, and Gamble & Huff? will get a tip of the hat from Patti LaBelle. Watch videos by some of the inductees.

Who are you psyched to see?

by (@katespencer)

Wednesday: K-Fed’s Cheeto Binge

kevinfederline.jpgDamn! K-Fed Got K-Fat
Brit’s ex has gotten big in the belly. Maybe he should take one of her dance classes and get in shape?? [Us]

Scarlett Plays House with Ryan Reynolds
The hot couple are taking things to the next level and shacking up together. Think Woody Allen’s jealous?? [NYDN]

Heidi Montag?s Step-Brother Dies in Freak Accident
It’s the first real thing to happen to the “star” in ages. Our condolences.? [Us]

Jessica Drops Cash on Vegas Condo
Simpson splurged on a fancy Vegas condo, and you can check out the pics. We’ll now be avoiding Sin City at all costs!? [Us]

Did Mary-Kate Try to Fix her Face?
Either the twin’s had surgery, or she’s scrunching her face up in a really weird way. [Cityrag]

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Rock of Love: Hula-Hooping Striptease

What makes a rock star? Rock of Love‘s Bret Michaels attempts to answer that particular age-old question in the clip above. Here, the Poison frontman is entertained by two lovely strippers . . . er, women, who disrobe as they read the constitution of the United States. Then they dance with hula-hoops. And they say that the country suffers from a lack of civic pride. While that might be the case, we’re sure as hell not hurting for rock-star moments.

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Rock of Love: Rockstar Moments

In today?s installment, Rock of Love?s Bret Michaels takes a few of his ladies out for a romantic, low-lit dinner. Actually, dinner?s totally in the dark. Hidden by the darkness, Bret takes the time to sample a few of the delicacies that aren?t on the menu. Is that very rock star of him? Depends on how you like your rock stars ? slathered in saliva or sitting down politely with good table manners.

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Neon Rulez & Justice’s New Video Proves It

There’s been a whole lot of neon in pop culture lately. First, Kanye West collaborated with Daft Punk on “Stronger,” made a video that combined the look of Akira with the narrative of Guns N’ Roses’ “Estranged,” and then showed up to the Grammys wearing a jacket that was literally so flashy it was designed to light up. Then Rihanna – who will appear on Kanye’s Glow in the Dark Tour — played the Brit Awards fronting new-rave darlings the Klaxons. Now comes French DJ duo Justice‘s new video (for “DVNO,” above). It’s the best video we’ve seen since the last time Justice released a video (for “D.A.N.C.E.”). Enjoy the outer-spaciness, kids. After the jump, watch Rihanna playing “Umbrella” at a rave that looks like it was thrown by wayward cast members from Tron.

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Rock To the Rescue: The Station Fire Show

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Sometimes it?s all about helping others. When the call went out regarding participation in “Phoenix Rising,” a benefit concert to assist the Station Family Fund, plenty of artists came running. What?s the SFF? It?s the group that generates and dispenses monies needed to ease the medical bills of those who survived Rhode Island?s infamous Station nightclub fire, a blaze that killed 100 rock fans and injured another 200 on Feb 20, 2003.

Last Monday, at the Dunkin? Donuts Center in Providence, the SFF hosted a multi-artist bash that illustrated the effectiveness of uniting for a cause. Co-organized by the group Tesla, who lost an associate in the tragedy, it was a night full of fun and memories, 5000 fans and 20-plus artists rocking the place silly. VH1 was there, too. An edited version of the four-hour concert will be shown on the channel and VH1 Classic on March 23. It’s entitled Aftermath: The Station Fire Five Years Later.

WATCH VIDEOS BY THE SHOW’S ARTISTS.

Twisted Sister, Tesla, Staind?s Aaron Lewis, Winger and several other acts represented the rock side of things. John Rich, Gretchen Wilson, and Dierks Bentley flew up from Nashville for the evening to put on an acoustic show that stressed their high-flying country slant.

?Wear your tee-shirts proud,? bellowed Sister?s Dee Snider, who acted as the program?s MC. ?Let people know you were here. I learned a lot about bravery, courage and heart tonight. I recognized the strength of the people who survived. There will be sad moments, but this is a party, and people want to rock. So let?s rock!?

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