by (@katespencer)

Lindsay: Doped Up & Doing Dudes in Rehab

lindsay083007.jpgWe like our Lindsay Lohan one way and one way ONLY. Crazy, cracked out, and knockin’ boots. Thankfully we’ve learned that even rehab cannot change her – no matter how many times she tries! The latest dirty news to come out of Utah this week is that LiLo was forced to take a drug test which came back positive. A rehab spy said, “Lindsay got called into the director?s office on August 15 and was questioned about drugs. When ordered to take a drug test, she reluctantly complied but screamed and cursed at the medical director before storming out the room. She was told that if she couldn?t conform to the programme she?d have to leave.?

Of course she allegedly failed the test. What’s even juicier is that she also apparently got caught getting her bone on in the bathroom with a fellow patient. I want to believe these rumors, but I feel like even Lindsay is above bathroom sex. That’s so Britney. Lindsay would at least steal away to one of the massage rooms or something. Girl’s got a little class. Just a little. [Mollygood. Image: Getty]

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Eve Is Not Amused

eve_monitor.jpgPoor Eve! Not only did she have to withstand public scrutiny following her DUI arrest in April (she calls the ordeal “disgusting”), but she also has to put up with an alcohol monitor around her ankle that she envisioned being the size of a beeper, but is more akin to Bose headphones. According to her, “It’s the most annoying thing.” Awwww! Too bad she didn’t get thrown in jail, because that would have been so much more pleasant. The legal system is just so hard on celebs!

Eve gets to remove her Secure Continuous Remote Alcohol Monitor in about a week (she wore it as part of her plea deal), but she had it around long enough to teach her something:

I definitely learned my lesson. It was a stupid situation, stupid decision. I did something dumb and now I’m paying for it…Don’t drink and drive kids.

At least she got to complain about it. That’s a sort of retribution, right? [People / Image credit: Getty]

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by (@katespencer)

This is Who Rihanna is Dating?

shiarihanna.jpgRihanna and the dorky kid from Transformers, Shia LeBeouf, are apparently a couple. Supposedly everyone on the set of Shia’s latest flick, Indiana Jones 4, is buzzing about it, and the couple was recently spotted dining together at a Beverly Hills restaurant. Now we could easily go off on the sexy singer and say something like “Rihanna, what the hell are you thinking? I mean, we’re sure the guy is nice and stuff but he kind of looks like an adorable hedgehog, and you are a goddess of angelic proportions. You were (maybe) getting it on with Jay-Z, the hunky king of hip hop! Isn’t this kind of a step down? Also his last name means ‘beef’ in French. Shia The Beef, Rihanna. Think about THAT.”

But we won’t.
Instead enjoy these pics of Rihanna looking all glam with her broken foot last night in Hollywood. [WWTDD. Images: Getty]

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Mayer Minds the Gap

GapAs if John Mayer didn’t have enough to be ashamed about lately, he’s now contending with the absolute wallpapering of New York City with his Gap ad campaign. The pin-up is one of the stars of the Gap’s Classics Redefined campaign, and appears in all his tossle-haired glory around the streets of Manhattan. The singer is so ubiquitous in fact, that he’s posted a virtual apology on his blog, following the format of an awkward conversation, which he might have some experience with:

That’s a lot of GAP ads, is all I’m saying. I mean, I hope… Yah. Are we, you kno – yah. We cool? Cause I would nev- good. good. Sorry. Okay, I’m gon-yah, I’m gonna go. NO, I just.. I hav- bye.

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Rock on TV – The Shortlist

ash.jpgJonesing for music on your television set? You?ve come to the right place. Check out our shortlist. For more extensive listings, read VH1?s Rock on TV.

Awesome; I F**ckin’ Shot That!, 12:05 p.m. (EST), SHO2: Possibly the only official bootleg film in existence, this is what happens when one of the most innovative groups in rap give out 50 cameras during a stop on their 2004 tour at Madison Square Garden: fan-helmed madness ensues. The results range from passable concert video experience to motion-sickness inducing shakiness, but the sheer number of angles editor Adam Yauch
had to contend with rivalled the samples on Paul’s Boutique. Cameos from Money Mark, Dougie Fresh, Ben Stiller and David Cross pepper the film.

Undiscovered, 9:45 p.m.(EST), TMC: Let’s hope Pete Wentz doesn’t have basic cable. The younger Simpson sister stars in this utterly ground-breaking tale of struggling artists trying to make it on the streets of L.A., one of whom is Ash (she wears a little beret, that’s how you can tell she’s got it tough). There’s no drummer to blame this clunker of a performance on, Ash. Worth a viewing if only to get the taste of Glitter out of your mouth.

by (@katespencer)

Usher’s “Wedding” Only 48 Hours Away

Yeah!We had missed Usher and Tameka Foster and their constant marital drama, so it’s a real treat to have them back in the goss-spotlight. The tumultuous couple is reportedly planning a gigantic wedding bash in Atlanta to celebrate their marriage, which was made official on August 3rd after their original wedding in the Hamptons was canceled. Diddy, Janet Jackson and Ashanti are all rumored to be attending, but there’s no word yet about Usher’s haterific mom, who is apparently still at odds with Tameka. These guys gotta step it up and bring it this weekend! We want cake smashing, dress ruining, mascara streaking drama. After all, they owe it to us for being so quiet and mature all month. [Us Weekly. Image: Getty]

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by (@katespencer)

Thursday: J. Lo Channels Her Inner Ho, Britney Wants to Shock Your Pants Off

jlo083007.jpgPics: J. Lo Skanks It Up In New Video
It’s kind of confusing how Jennifer Lopez tries to be all glamorous in public but then her music videos are bootylicious ho-downs. Which block are you from, J.Lo? [Mollygood]

Courtney Love Tried to Save Owen?
The singer claims she tried to warn Owen about his druggie friends. How surprisingly normal of her! [Us Weekly]

Paris In Vegas Charitably Clubbing
The former jailbird danced up a sexy storm in Sin City this week for a good cause – the amusement of everyone watching her. [X17]

The Lohans’ Crazy Public Fight
Lindsay’s parents are now battling it out with each other via gossip blogs. Just reading about their BS makes me want to go to rehab.? [Perez Hilton]

Brit Wants a ?Shocking? Comeback
The sad singer wants to blow our minds with her VMA performance. How about cleaning up, putting on some pants, and acting like an adult? That would shock the s**t out of all of us. [US Weekly]


The Nuge Cracks, NRA Enjoys Free Press

nugent.jpgLate last week, gun-toting Republican firebrand Ted Nugent invited Vibe cover star and rising presidential hopeful Barack Obama to suck on his machine gun. Nugent also called Obama “a piece of sh*t.” He nugent.jpgthen invited Hillary Clinton to ride his machine gun into the sunset, and called her “a worthless bitch.” (Click here to watch the footage.)

Helluva guy, that Ted. He must be best friends with Don Imus.

For those of you who don’t remember Nugent, he’s the genius who wrote “Cat Scratch Fever.” He’s also the drooling-lunatic-of-choice when it comes to punditry about gun control. It turns out that Ted’s not in favor of gun control. Go figure. Anyway, in a twist to this story, it turns out that the Nuge was scheduled to play a state fair in South Dakota. The fair’s organizer apparently contacted Nugent’s representative to remind Mr. Man that he would be performing for a family crowd. Ted kept his death-threats in check. But we wish that the fair’s organizer would have asked him to play Harlem instead. We can hope, though. All good things come to those who wait.

by (@katespencer)

Britney’s New Single: Dropping Next Week?

britney082907.jpgThe washed up pop princess (or Queen Mother, really) is ready to give you more, whether you want it or not. Entertainment Weekly is exclusively reporting that the first single from Brit’s fifth album could drop as early as next week. The single is apparently called “Gimme More” and it’s “an up-tempo club cut produced by Timbaland prot?g? Nate ”Danjahandz” Hills.” Anonymous sources tell EW that “‘People are going to love [the new single],” and ”It’s a smash! She’s going to come out strong.” But the spies also question if the public is ready for a new, upbeat Britney with all the drama she’s flaunting these days. Apparently her studio is a little worried too, as another source reveals that the album is “expected to hit shelves this fall with little to no promotional setup.”

We think people will buy the album whether it’s good or not – if only to experience the musical trainwreck that could possibly be about to go down. As for her new “club cut” of a single, our guess is that it’s really just a secret message to K-Fed telling him to bring on the subpoenas. Afterall, Brit’s reportedly hired a private eye to spy on his ass. Gimme more custody drama, please! [EW. Image: Getty]

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by (@katespencer)

Wednesday: Angelina’s Sexy in the Middle East; Britney’s Busted for Bad Driving

angie082907.jpgBritney?s Got Major Car Troubles
So what if the pop star ran out of gas on the side of the road AND got a parking ticket in one day. Irresponsible drivers make great moms! [TMZ]

Lindsay to Reunite with her Dad
The rehabbing starlet has approved a visit from her estranged father, to take place at her rehab spot in Utah. Expect a sappy song about the meeting real soon. [NY Post]

Madonna?s Son Still in Adoption Limbo

Officials from Malawi are heading to visit the singer to ensure she is fit to mother her adopted son. Hopefully they won’t mind that her kids play dress up with her pointy bra costumes. [A Socialite's Life]

Angelina Looks Hot in Iraq
Angie goes au natural while visiting troops and refugees in Iraq, and she looks damn good while doing so. Now we see why Brad fell in love with her “humanitarian side.” [TMZ]

Backstreet Boys are Back ? as Hipsters
Four of the five Boys are back with a new album and a new, cool look. Too bad they’re a little old for it now. Maybe they should pass their hipster outfits on to their kids? [Mollygood]

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