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Free Radio: Lance Apologizes For His Insensitivity

VH1?s spoof show features Lance Krall as a dimwitted radio host who has some infuriating opinions and isn?t shy about expressing them. He also has a weekly blog here where he discusses his innermost thoughts. In this, the final episode, Lance offers an apology to an old friend for lying to him and getting him into so much trouble he wound up in a home in a home for juveniles. Oops.

Free Radio Show Page

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Mayer: Philosophical Sports-Casting Cluck

You may know him as a bluesmeister, sexpot, or clown. But as his blog currently suggests, John Mayer is a thoughtful dude, too. In one of his first posts since dumping his entire library a couple months ago, he waxes eloquently about his generation’s self-obsession and self-doubt. Evidently he wrote it while “traveling alone in Japan,” a place that’s nudged him into a psychological spot one of my wise workmates deemed his “Lost in Translation moment.”

But don’t fret, all these deep thoughts haven’t stymied his sillybone, as you can see from the fuzzy commentary he uses to describe America’s pastime in the clip above. That is him, isn’t it?

And what would you do if he turned into Bret Michaels?

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George & Elton Don’t Let the Sun Go Down

Today we’ve dug through our vaults for your viewing pleasure, and came up with this oldie but goodie. Not only does it feature Mr. George Michael belting out an Elton John tune, “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down On Me,” it also features Elton himself. Check out the clip to see the two dueting live, and be sure to give TwentyFive, George’s brand-spanking-new disc, out next Tuesday.

by (@katespencer)

Friday: LiLo Finally Lands a Movie Role

lindsay.jpgLindsay Lohan?s a Manson Girl
Our little rehabber finally gets a part – as one of Charlie Manson’s followers. Hey – it’s better than nothing, right?? [People]

Ashlee Simpson Launching Clothing Line
The younger Simpson will be “designing” yet another celeb fashion line that we won’t be buying.? [People]

Is There a Hills Movie on the Horizon?
LC alleges that it’s been discussed, which can only mean it will beat out Sex and the City for the title of “cheesiest chick flick ever.”? [Us]

Pete Doherty Loves Xenu
The rocker has apparently become hooked on Scientology. Could he be the British Tom Cruise?? [TheSun]

Paris Hilton Takes Turkey by Storm
There she is – America’s charitable sweetheart giving over her time to judge beauty pageants around the globe.? [DListed]

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Madge: Sweatin’ To the Brits

madonnaheadshot.jpg Madonna stuck her tongue down Britney Spears‘ throat in front of millions of TV viewers, so why shouldn’t she break a sweat to Brit’s music during her daily exercise routine? The 150-50-year-old superstar told New York’s Z100-FM radio station that like many other pop fans, she digs Blackout and blasts it while doing pilates and dance aerobics. Listen to the interview.

It also seems that she likes it better than her own songbook: “I’m not sure I can sing ‘Holiday’ or ‘Like A Virgin’ ever again,” she admitted during the interview. “I just can’t ? unless somebody paid me like $30 million or something. [Maybe if] some Russian guy wants me to come to the wedding he’s going to have to a 17-year-old, you know it.”

Okay Russian guy, the ball’s in your court.

What songs by Madge and Brit get you in the mood to sweat?

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Yes Announces A Summer Tour

You know their songs: “Your Move.” “Owner of a Lonely Heart.” “Roundabout.” Now you’ve got the chance to catch Yes live. In honor of their 40th anniversary, the prog rock titans are hitting the road for their “Close to the Edge and Back” tour, a 25-date jaunt coming to a city near you. Lead singer Jon Anderson recently stopped by our place with some talented pupils from the School of Rock, a nation-wide program promoting musicianship among kids. They played a rendition of a big Yes hit, with a John Lennon bonus number tacked onto the end. Check the clip above to see one of rock’s most distinct voices, and take the jump for tour dates. Check back? on April 10th, where we’ll have contest details that might land you on stage with Yes! Read more…

by (@katespencer)

Jamie-Lynn’s Shotgun Wedding

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Hey ya’ll! Jamie-Lynn Spears, the 16-year old mama-to-be (and Brit’s sis) is getting married! Her main man, Casey Aldridge, 18, has allegedly proposed to his knocked up sweetheart, though there’s no word on a ring or a date. Who cares! She’s walking down the aisle way before Britney did, which must be tearing her big sis up. There’s nothing like being upstaged – at everything! – by one’s little sis, but J-L’s got it down. And you know what that means – her custody case is gonna be that much crazier, and probably happen before she turns 20.? [Us]

by (@katespencer)

Kimora & Russell Divorce for the 100th Time

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How many times can one couple announce their divorce? We’ve lost count, but we’re guessing Kimora Lee Simmons and her super-mogul ex-hubby Russell have done it, oh, a gazillion times, including today. We get it! You guys split up! Didn’t this happen in like 2006? Aren’t you both busy getting pregnant and doing yoga with your new (and might we add, much hotter) significant others? Earlier this month, Kimora said, “I’m in the paper every single week ? that I had a fight with my ex-husband, or that I was mad at one of his girlfriends, or that I’m pregnant, or that I demand Fiji water ? Lies upon lies upon lies.”

Oh Kimora. Admit it – you like being in the paper every week. Are we the only ones who suspect that the divorce reports pop back up every time our girl needs some publicity? Or were ya’ll too busy buying her new perfume – which launched last week – to notice?

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Celebs Set Bizarre World Records

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Tommy Lee got up to a different kind of mischief in the skies recently. Undoubtedly already a member of the Mile High Club, Mr. Lee commissioned the first ever tattoo administered at a high altitude. The Motley Crue drummer had a peacock tattooed on his thigh for the entirety of a five hour flight. Ouch.

With this, and the recent news that Fall Out Boy were attempting to play a concert on every continent to get into the Guinness Book of World Records, it got us thinking about some of the other records that celebs have already set, whether Guinness acknowledges them or not.

mariah1.jpg Mariah Carey — Shortest Skirts Worn on Stage

paula_abdul.jpg Paula Abdul — Most Unintelligible Sentences Strung Together During a Live Television Broadcast

britney1.jpg Britney Spears — Most Hours Spent Driving Around In A Car (officials have to check, but Spears is suspected to have logged the circumference of the earth three times in mileage)

heidi_spencer.jpg Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt — Most Shameless and Exploitive Usage of Children, Animals and Holidays for Self-Promotion

kanye.jpg Kanye West — Most Humble Artist